Lilivata Chapter Two

        “Lila?” she almost screamed as the body spoke to her, her vision blurred for a second, and she was looking at Chris, sitting in the chair in perfect condition, save two dark circles under his eyes, glancing at her plate she saw the knife still sitting there. “Lila, I asked if you were ready for your wedding?” he repeated looking concerned. She blinked bewildered for a moment then shook her head,

        “Oh yes, the wedding, I think I’ll-I’ll be fine tomorrow” she nodded forcing a smile; though his look of unease remained till he left shortly afterward. Lila caught her breath, her ‘day dreams’ had never lasted that long before, and they were getting ever more violent, she even had a few when she was alone, dreaming that she ripped her wedding dress to shreds, or poisoning the food in the kitchen. After finding herself in bed, after she could have sworn she’d walked downstairs and set the house a blaze, she broke down sobbing desperately.

        “You have to find that fortune teller” Lila looked up, “who said that?” she asked looking around the room to see no one, after a moment she realized that it had been the sound of her own voice that had startled her. “Am I going insane?’ she asked herself, wiping tears from her eyes, she found no answer; all was silent even in her head. She dropped her head into her hands and cried herself sleep.

        She opened her eyes and just stared for a few moments, dried tears rested on her cheeks, her nose was stuffy and clogged, her throat felt as if it were on fire, like a boiler room inside her chest, but the odd thing was everything had a red tint, as if it too were burning. She kicked her red tinged sheets off of her legs, but it felt as if heat was radiating from inside the bed, and inside her chest. As she stood and looked around she was hit by a sudden realization, if she touched the red objects, they would burn her, she just knew it, like you know in dream.

        As she turned something caught her eye, the doorknob, it wasn’t red, it was a deep sea green, shuffling toward it she hesitantly reached out her hand, grasping it lightly, it felt cool to the touch, pulling the heat from her hand and arm. She pushed the door open, peeking out into the hallway, she saw the banister was also sea green but a lighter tone, she scurried from the room, somehow she knew that if she followed the color it would bring about her relief. It lead her down the stairs, and through the hall, getting lighter and lighter as she went, before she knew it, she found herself standing before a door, she’d been so intent upon the color she hadn’t realized that it was leading her to the guestrooms.

        Pushing the door open silently, she peeked through the crack, spotting a light blue mass amidst the red, slipping inside she pushed the door closed; only the brief click of the knob finding its notch in the door jam broke the silence. She swept across the room kneeling by the bed, she realized that the color was emitting from a sleeping body, she couldn’t tell who it was but right now it didn’t matter; all she cared about was that this person held the key to her recovery, it had to be, the ting was so light it was nearly white.

        She scanned the body up and down, how to get it out, she wondered; she growled a bit, the fire in her throat felt like it would burn her to death, it’s flames licked up from the bottom of her stomach, charring her ribs and spine, the heat was melting her skin she could see it burning, turning ashy and black and falling to the blood red floor. She could see smoke floating in front of her face, billowing out of her mouth, she couldn’t breathe the smoke was choking her from within!

        She lunged forward at the light, just contact chilled her finger tips, suddenly she could hear his heart pounding, smell the blood rushing through his veins, he stirred waking. Before he could turn around she plunged her teeth into his neck, she could feel her teeth grow and shred his jugular, she felt skin and vein and tendons rip, sweet blood rushed into her mouth, it just flowed effortlessly to her, as though it was as eager to come to her as she was to have it. The light ting of salt and cooper blended together rushing down her throat, the dry cracked feeling vanished, the flames in the chest sizzled and died, the blood rushed through her whole body, leaving a cool feeling, like a light spring breeze.

        She pulled back taking a deep shuddering breath, she let her eyes flicker open, the world was back to the correct color, she pulled in a deep breath licking her lips. For a few seconds she just reveled in the feeling, full with cool light energy, refreshed, finally satisfied. Then her heart lurched, it’s William, or to be more accurate it was William, now he stared blankly at the ceiling, face pale, oddly this was the most relaxed she’d ever seen him, maybe she really could marry him.

        “Oh god, he’s dead, I’ll never marry him, I killed him, oh god” she whispered, she couldn’t make herself believe not for a few minutes, then it hit her; he was really dead, and she had killed him, taken his life to sustain her own. She emitted a small whimper and her stomach lurched, her body kicked up everything it had, as if trying to vomit out what she had done, get rid of it.

        She emptied the contents of her stomach on the floor, after she kicked out everything she could, she just sat there unmoving, on her knees hunched over clutching her abdomen, as if, if she didn’t move maybe she would cease to exist. “Its day dream this is just another nightmare” she told herself over and over, waiting for her vision to swim, and to find herself in her room, but it didn’t happen, “Wake up! Wake up damnit!” she screamed, she sprang at William’s lifeless corpse, “Wake up!” she didn’t know if she were trying to wake herself up or him any more, probably both. “Wake up, oh god, please wake up” she pleaded, shaking him and dissolving into tears, she slipped down into the floor, curling up onto herself, clutching her knees to her chest, sobbing desperately.

        Her screams had woken nearly everyone in the house, as they flooded in, shock overtaking their features, they tried to calm Lila and get an explanation from her, but she was in shell shock, unable to do anything but weep. After a bit Chris carried her up to her room, he washed her face and hands, Lila’s body still shook with silent sobs long after she ran out of tears, Chris tucked her into bed and opened the curtains and widow. He shut the door behind him and left her to her thoughts, her mind had already pushed back her deed, not allowing her to look at it, or even recall details clearly. She knew that when the sun came up she would die too if the curtains were open, but she felt that that was what she deserved, and right now she didn’t have the ability to care either way.

        Around 4am desire to live won out, and she got up and shut the curtains; how bad had William wanted to live, god knows he didn’t want to die. He had had a lot to live for, he was well on his way to success, and was about to get married, and she’d taken that from him, and destroyed both their lives. She couldn’t sleep, her mind shut down, and she just lay there numb for hours, till Sophie and Chris reappeared.

        “I did it, I killed him” she told them, head buried in her knees, she told them over and over again but they always insisted that she was in shock, that what ever had occurred it wasn’t her fault, and to just tell them what really happened; but she couldn’t, it was too heavy on her conscience. “I told you already, I won’t say it again” she finally told them, they backed off at the sound of malice in her voice, but soon after her parents came to start up the interrogation, but she wouldn’t say a word, not even a sound, she just kept her head buried in her knees. The baffled police questioned her also, of course no one told them of her confession, and by now she couldn’t even utter words, she wasn’t worthy enough to be heard.

        For three days she stayed this way, not a sound passed her lips, and she just sat unmoving for hours, replaying the night her mind had finally allowed her to access over and over again. Finally they sent in a priest,

        “Lila? This is Father Henry, he just wants to talk to you” her mother said, waiting a moment for a response, when none was forthcoming she just stepped out, waving the priest in. He smiled to her mother and headed in, not five steps past the door, and evil hit him like a tidal wave, he staggered back.

        “Dear father in heaven!” he whispered, uttering the Lord’s Prayer, “child, what evil is it that consumes you?” he took a step closer this accent was rich, Spanish, she looked up,

        “Does it matter?”  she asked, “Evil is evil, and now I am also” she stared for a moment and dropped her head back into her knees, for a time he just watched her, then quickly exited, calling for her father as he shut the door. She concentrated and after a minute she could hear what they were saying.

        “…been tainted by evil, sir, I’m sorry to be the one to say it” that was Father Henry, her father cut in,

        “Nonsense, that’s impossible, she’s a pure as snow, never had a bad thought in her head” her father expelled, the priest didn’t sound fazed,

        “I believe she was infected the night of her injury” he said, “the marks on her neck match the ones on Mr. William’s, he’s been drain of all his blood. How else would you explain it sir?” the priest asked, there was a long moment of silence, and Lila stopped listening, she could bare to hear more; she thought she didn’t have any tears left but she was able to squeeze a few more out.

        The minutes passed like hours, she just waited, wondering if her family would believe the truth or not. After what seemed like an eternity the priest crept back in, she didn’t have to look up to know that her family filed in behind him, at a respective distance. They were silent; trying not to alert her to their presence, they were failing miserably, but didn’t even realize, she went ahead and let them think she didn’t know they were there, why not let them have that triumph. She heard her mother gasp, glancing up very slightly, she saw the priest was hold up a mirror, standing in the doorway, he reflected back the room, the closed green curtains, the plush carpet, the soft bed sheets, but not Lila.

        The bed sunk down and the sheets wrinkled where she sat but the space was empty, and the priest’s theory proven. The door shut softly behind him as they all shuffled away, her mother was crying, one could almost taste the intensity in the air. Lila jumped up charging to the small bathroom three doors down; she jerked the door closed keeping her eyes fixed on the floor. She took a shuddering breath and lifted her eyes; the mirror just reflected the empty wall behind her, devoid of her, as if she didn’t exist, as though she'd dropped off the face of the earth.

        Reaching a shaking hand out she touched the cool surface of the glass, her fingers left little smudges behind but the mirror held its image of the wall. It was mocking her, the empty replica of the bathroom, taunting her, confirming her fears, she didn’t exist, she had dropped away in to oblivion, she had no effect on life, she had vanished, faded away.

        Before she knew it her hand had smashed through the mirror, tiny shards of glass embedded themselves in her fist, large chunks cracked and dropped into the sink, breaking in to smaller jagged pieces. Anger propelled her back to her room, pulling on a thick sweater over her light green dress, she jerked the closet’s door open, twisting her hair into a loose bun and throwing on a hooded cloak.

        She stepped into the cool night air, for a moment the poetry of the act hit her, the very door through which she left her life behind was the same one that she had passed through to gain this new life. She couldn’t say for sure which passing really began her new life but regardless she was leaving her old behind, in all likelihood never to return, she wept a bit for the losses, a tearful good bye to her life, her friends, and her finery. Then it disappeared, dissolved into the night just as she did, blindly traveling away, following nothing yet something, something she wasn’t quite sure what was.

        After a few minutes she found herself somewhere familiar, a heavy scent hung in the air, lighting her senses and drawing her to it, she stared blankly for a moment, then the recognition came to her. This was the very spot where she’d been attacked, the very spotted her life had changed; her vision blurred and flashed random images in front of her, each tinged with red. The tall man stood before her, she felt his grip on her arm, then slamming into the wall, sharp pain radiating from her neck, over and over.

        She let out an angry cry grabbing the closest available object, slamming it relentlessly at the brick wall, she could see the blood staining it, spilled out over the ground, the smell grew more and more pungent, overwhelming her senses, till that was all she could smell, the sound of the copper pipe she wielded smashing in to the brick the pain and vibrations lacing through her arms and shoulders, till she couldn’t swing anymore.

        She let the pipe slip from her fist, it crashed to the ground and rolled to the other wall, her eyes were fixed on the place she’d pulverized; deep indents stained the brick where it had crumbled away under the assault. She realized that hot tears stood out on her cheeks, she didn’t know when she had started crying, for a second her mind wiped everything away, she didn’t even know why she was crying or what she was doing here. She pulled in a deep shuddering breath memories rushing back to her as if they’d never left.

        Oddly her lashing out in anger cleared her mind; she was able to run thoughts together coherently. What should she do now? “The fortune teller” she wasn’t sure if she thought it or if the answer came from another entity within her but regardless it was correct. That fortune teller seemed to have known something; somehow she’d sensed the evil within Lila even before Lila herself had recognized it. Surely she knew what Lila should do, she could help, she could save her, make her exist again.

        She set off with new propose, a goal; she found herself unable to go out to the streets, everytime she got close the smell of blood and people filled her senses, inciting and revolting her, she could hear all of their hearts beating and whispering, everyone’s heart crying softly.

    She kept to back alleyways, winding through the city, at times she didn’t know where she was, or which way to go. As the night wore on less and less people roamed the streets allowing her to venture closer. As she passed open windows the smell of life assaulted her, the rich sound of blood rushing through their veins as they slept; she could nearly see their dreams, taste the fear and hope they contained.

    The first ray of light lit up the sky, cutting through the darkness like a river, she groaned rubbing a hand to her forehead, she’d developed a dull throb right between her eyes, it grew as the day grew closer as if warning her of the impending daylight. She continued toward the old part of town, where the vacant houses stood like wise old crones surveying the street and changing times with distain. Most of the cellar doors where chained closed with heavy red brown chains, the others rusted shut after years of disuse, finally she was able to pry open one of the heavy doors and not a moment too soon. The sun was throwing dazzling rays across the land, the shadow of building at her back was growing ever smaller and offering less and less protection.

    The stairs crumbled under her feet, sending her crashing to the hard partly concreted floor, she cursed under her breath, pulling herself up and rubbing her bruised tail bone.  She wrenched the door shut with a creaking slam, showering bits of dust and rust on her shoulders and head. After a second her eyes adjusted to the dim light, a large rotted shelf stood on the far wall, a few decaying stools and bits of wood scattered the ground. Their points made her uneasy, sending a shiver down her spine, taking care to kick any bits of wood away she slid down, back against the wall under the doors.

      The full reality of the situation hit her, she was a murderer, on the run and only the reliability of a hunch to go on, it was indeed a dire situation. She cursed under her breath, pulling her hair back from her face she felt tiny points of pain all over her hand, it was covered in blood, sharp pieces of the mirror glimmered, embedded deep into her fingers and knuckles, a few slivers had entrenched themselves in her palm and the back of her hand. She spent the next twenty minutes pulling the shards from her skin and flinging them to the other side of the cellar; she ripped the hem of her dress into a long string and encased her hand in it.

        With a sigh she laid down and curled her knees up to her chest, resting her head on her arm she drifted into a fitful sleep. In her dreams voices spoke to her, degraded her, chasing her down dark streets, assaulting her, echoing in her head, they sounded so familiar but she couldn’t quite tell who they were. She stumbled falling to her knees, a sharp pain shot up her legs, the voices got closer and closer.

        She woke with a start; the unfamiliar sound of tiny feet scurrying into the dark recesses greeted her. For a moment she didn’t know where she was, but it came to her, an abandoned cellar, she was on the run, in hiding. She lifted her head, stretching her stiff body, her shoulders popped in protest, she groaned, her back was laced with tight pain. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, yawning widely; she rubbed her aching wrists, the pattern of concrete embedded in her skin from where she lay it on the cold hard floor.

        She had no idea what time it was, debating whether or not to risk looking out the cellar door, then an idea came to her. Her eyes had adjusted nicely to the dark, everything was sharp, it wasn’t so much as she could see the things in the room, but she could sense them, feel them. She instantly knew where the mice were, where each splintered piece of wood lay, and the stairs. She carefully picked through the room, side stepping the many things that littered the floor, her foot bumped softly against the bottom step, she smiled; right where she thought it was.

        She scrambled up the stairs, eyes fixed on the door, it was old and rotting, she stood with hand resting on the knob, it was glass. Like a single jewel amidst a sea wreckage, shimmering in the darkness, or perhaps in spite of the darkness. Pushing it open she found a small kitchen, peeking around the corner carefully; she found what she was looking for, a window. Weak sunlight shone through making a patch on the floor; she didn’t venture from the safe haven of the cellar; but she felt sure it was nearly night. Closing the door softly, she sat on the top step, back leaned against the door, she didn’t trust the railing to support her, and the idea of crashing to the floor amidst the pile of splinters and wooden projectiles made her nauseous.

        She wondered how she had slept so long, for hours and hours. The day had just begun when she came down here, and now it was almost spent. She had been extremely tired but still, “the sun is the enemy, the body adapts to make protection easier” the thought came to her, like a spider web floating on the breeze, again she didn’t know if she’d thought it or not, it seemed as if someone else were speaking in her mind. But that was ridiculous.

        She closed her eyes and let her mind wonder, now that she had a full night of slept, or day as the case may be, she could think clearly. She realized that she had to have passed that restaurant hours before she got to this cellar, she so needed to go back the other way. The thoughts slowly creep in, showing her how foolish this little adventure was, how unlikely it was for her to find that fortune teller, that she could never survive.

        All her deeds flashed before her eyes, the sight of William’s blank eyes staring at her, accusing her, mocking her with what she’d done. Before she even had a moment to think about it she ripped a huge chunk of the railing off, and impaled herself. She screamed, pain lacing through her body; the wood splintered off in her chest cutting deeply through her heart, a burning sensation spread outward engulfing her torso in white hot agony.

        She jerked forward with a gasp, her body trembling, she fully expected to see the railing protruding from her chest, but it wasn’t there. She placed a hand on her racing heart, the railing was still on the wall, no gaping hole in her chest; it had just been in her mind. But the pain felt so real, she was sure she had killed herself, she couldn’t trust her own mind; she felt as if she were going crazy. “You are” this time she was sure that the voice belonged to someone else, though it echoed inside her own head.

        She began to ask who spoke, but realized how silly it was to ask yourself who you were, even if she was quite sure it wasn’t herself talking. She waited but no more words came, and she dismissed it, assuring herself that she was mistaken, shaken up from the vivid dream of suicide.

        She waited nearly an hour till she peeked out the door again, no light shone through the window now, she thought about going out the front door, but that would draw attention, and lead her onto the street. She tired to go out the celler doors but couldn’t reach high enough to throw them open, in the end she opted to sneak out the back door, waiting till she could no longer feel the presence of living beings nearby.

        She hesitated outside the door, and turned back heading into the house, she wasn't sure why she wanted it, but it seemed so important to her. After a brief struggle, she managed to break away the rotted wood of the door and dislouge the glass handle. She slipped it into the pocket of her cloak, liking the weight of it, and the smooth feel aginst her fingers; then headed back out.

        After walking for about ten minutes she noticed with sickening realization that she was once more hungry, not like before, but she could hear her stomach growl. It had been days since she’d…she brushed it from her mind, “I just have to find the fortune teller before I get worse, I can wait till then” she whispered to herself, picking up her pace, “but how long will that be?” the voice within her mind reared up, hissing it’s discouraging predictions in her mind, the inevitable failure she was doomed to.

        She ignored this, trying to keep positive, but with every block she could feel tears welling up, what if she really couldn’t find the fortune teller? She told herself over and over that she would, but that little voice kept at her, reminding her again and again, what a long shot this all was. She glanced up and for a moment, it didn't register where she was, then it hit her; she’d found the restaurant, closed now, of course, but there it was none the less.

        She looked about, the street was deserted, it must be very late, or very early, she wasn’t sure which. At that moment it didn’t matter, she’d gotten here, and now all she had to do was locate the fortune teller. She was saved the trouble, luckily, for the task was quite insurmountable, as the fortune teller stepped from the shadows of the restaurant’s doorway.

        “I knew you’d come”