words can not explain my brain... |
birdies in the sky? birdies in the sky? kitties in the car? doggies on a leash? i'll watch for errors in traffic, if you'll only tie your shoelaces. i pause for a moment, overwhelmed by details. in my heart, i know. your only mistake is me. and when i'm not touching you, i'm losing you. i'm such a dreamer. the screech of bus arrives. the tickets are safe in your coat. i'll watch for problematic traffic, i said, but we're in this movie and it has been going, going, going for so very long. i thought that maybe my sighs at your clever phrases and drawn out thoughful sentences, were a good reason to claim,"bored." you repeat and repeat, "who is she?" i could say,"who isn't she?" but there isn't anybody. i stand sobbing in front of our bus. you lay broken and sprawled out a signature smeared and splashed on the white dotted line. give me, you back. i need you to sit in your usual spot in front of the television. i'll toss my legs over yours and we'll lounge about. we'll watch pbs. we'll cry all over each other. we'll bite each other till we draw blood. only your words feel like teeth. i'm stunned like a bunny i've fallen from somewhere really high. if i could move, i would pick you up and drag you home. we need to stay home more often. we need to stay away from me. we need to stay fresh and clean. i'm thawing out. i lay down with you, my face sideways rested against your chest. i'm listening to you and your silence. you're so quiet and i feel you. the credits are running and i can hear my name. i know you know how to love me, but you never knew whether it was ever enough. i push your hair away from your face, but i can't begin to shut your eyes. you were such a dreadful insomniac and, my god, how you stare away from me. i'll eat your ashes. and maybe i'll see you in the morning. birdies in the sky? birdies in the sky? i'll save you from the birdies in the sky. you're not touching me and i've lost you. |