Silver Lining

Never has this life held anything or anyone of remote importance.  Every human I ever knew had hopes and dreams.  But each one seems to fade out of my life taking their dreams with them.  Some of them died before they could reach their dreams, but others were in favor of the Gods and lived long enough to seek revenge or whatever goal they had in mind.  Others grew gray and never did anything at all. 
I don’t remember ever being human.  My memory is much better than a humans.  However, it is not perfect.  Past events in my mind, come to fade just like humans do.  And what happened a thousand years ago I would not be able to recall. 
Instead I share the memories of others as they grow old and eventually die.  I have tried to live as humans do, and feel as they do, but I cannot suppress the depressing knowledge that every friend I’ll ever have, every enemy, every lover, will die.  I think that the five hundred years I have remembered, has left me feeling numb, hollow, and alone.
As many times as I have prodded myself with needles, or have been wounded with sharp swords, I have yet to feel any real pain.  And for every lover I had ever had, their love has failed to warm my heart of ice.  I don’t know what love is.  And I don’t know what pain is.  But I would like to think that I knew at one time.
One thing that seems to keep me at least mildly entertained is my natural ability to wield a sword.  The past few hundred years I had grown extremely bored with learning the skills of magic.  I learned much I will never forget.  I would have continued studying the now forbidden art, if it wasn’t for my clever and powerful teachers.  The first one refused to teach me anything because he told me he knew what I was.  That scared him I guess and he banished me from Broskoe Villiage.  When the second teacher discovered I could not die, she tried binding my spirit inside a mirror. 
Lets just say I broke out and lost my temper. The third teacher’s name was Andrea.  She taught me much I didn’t know about myself.  She admitted I had much to learn about who I was.  She said that I would discover my true self, and my true form, all in good time.  When questioned further, she said that my human shape was temporary.  She would not tell me much after that, only that her and I were sisters.  I learned much from her.  I’m sure she was still alive somewhere.  We moved around a lot when I was learning.
For now I had given up magic.  Lately my recreation has been focused on the slaying of demons, wild beasts, or any creature that is posing a problem to a wealthy merchant, or Lord.  I figured I had to earn money some how.  Though I do not age, time does pass, and I grow hungry.  Thus, I need for money to buy food. 
I could have always made myself something to eat, or just raised my own flock of sheep to provide meals … but I have tried it.  I get too lazy.  I would much rather pay someone to do it for me.
I have also tried taking whatever I wanted.  About two thousand years ago - the only thing I remember from that far back – I thought I could have anything.  Why else would the Gods condemn me to this planet for any other reason but to rule it? 
I gave myself quite a scare back then.  I slew army after army.  Humans, Golem, Tyreu, Goggs.  It didn’t matter, I could kill them all.  That is what was so frightening.  After I wandered through the bodies the aftermath of my greed, it finally hit me.  I could destroy everything, but my conscious wouldn’t allow it.  The reason was simple:  I didn’t want to be alone. 
I stood, finally through with polishing my sword, barely noticing the snow falling around me.  I raised Berdeth straight in front of me, admiring the absolute perfection of the rare blue steel.  Berdeth is a two handed sword, as long as a man and almost as heavy.  But she is not a bother to carry anymore. Now I can swing her with one hand easily.  Any other human who tried to wield her would certainly be set off balance with the extra length and awkward weight.
“Are you ready Fazlin?”  Teri called, clapping me on the shoulder.  There was great energy in his voice, almost to the point of yelling and I shushed him promptly.  Snow was falling gracefully towards the ground, in the heart of the woods, away from man and his noisy way of life.  The trees swayed in the light breeze, creaking and echoing all around us.  Everything was so peaceful. 
I looked over at Teri and frowned.  He was definitely the outside object that didn’t belong.  He continued to dance from foot to foot which such impudence, that my mind considered silencing his movements and annoyance with my sword. I knew I could.  There would have been no consequence too big if I killed him.
I bit down on my lip, remembering my bet to take him as my apprentice.  I had been beaten in a foolish card game that I had somehow been possessed to take part in.  If it hadn’t been for my addiction in gambling, and the passion I shared for the sport, I would have ended his life with one slice of my sword.  And upon offering money for his winnings, Teri refused.  “Teach me to become a warrior like you!”  He had said.  I had no choice but to fulfill my end of the bargain.
I shook my head again and sighed.  Some would think that from living this long, I would have been wise enough to ask on what terms the loser would have to pay.
Another reason that I couldn’t kill Teri, was because he was the Great Grandson of Yanus, the original forger of my sword Berdeth.  I had been fond of Yanus.  When he died, I thought I felt a knot inside myself come undone.  I fled the country and immersed myself in ruins and magic.  Perhaps that was the reason I had avoided these lands since his death.
Sadly, the Great Grandfather and Grandson did not share much in relation.  Teri had a warm smile like Yanus, but he was quite lanky, with messy straw like hair, and squinty-like dark blue eyes.  He had a big round chin and a high-bridged nose unlike his Great Grandfather, who had a strong, but painted face.  And unlike his Great Grandfather who I had been well acquainted with, Teri’s intellect was as shallow as a bucket.  On the other hand, I fondly remembered Yanus with a sharp tongue and quick wit.
I peeled Teri’s hand from my shoulder.  I never liked looking up into his face.  I guess you could say I had a bit of a superiority complex, standing next to someone so tall, which was so stupid. Teri did manage to take the sting out of a boring day, which was important.
I sheathed Berdeth and commenced North into the woods, with my apprentice Teri not far behind.  I was the only one wearing armor, and it creaked noisily as I walked.  It would have been well oiled, except for the awful winter weather.
Ice made the leafless trees look as if they were made of glass.  The noon day sun over head didn’t help the eyes much either.  It made the snow blindingly bright.  So much so that I would walk a bit with my eyes closed, and only open them every few seconds. Paying attention to my surroundings with my ears more than my eyes, I enjoyed the sound of walking the most.  It crunched satisfyingly underfoot.
“How far until we get there, Master Fazlin?” Teri called, breaking the silence and pulling me from my rare moment of peace at mind.  I was finally starting to appreciate snow again in three hundred years, and Teri just ruined it. To make matters worse, I hated repeating myself.
“The village will be about three days walk”, I snapped.  It had been the fourth time I had told him how far we had yet to go. 
I pulled my dark hair behind my head and fastened it tight with a leather ribbon.  It was too bad there was no way for me to tie away my anger like I did my hair.
Teri started humming to his person, out of tune, need I mention.  Soon he was stepping to the beat, so I tried to keep my mind off of him and onto more important things.  Like my hair.
I would have to cut it short soon, before we arrived in Braskoe Village, where my first magic teacher had resided.
I had to cut my hair because I was worried that someone might accuse me again of being a woman in a man’s armor.  Even though my gender was indeed female, it was far easier to roam the lands with a sword as a man. 
Women in this era are owned by their fathers or their husbands, having no personal possessions allowed to them.  It looked suspicious enough for a woman to be carrying a sword.  Someone might assume that she had stolen it. 
I didn’t want to imagine what they would think if they knew a woman could wield a sword as well, if not better than a man. 
I could always drop Berdeth and the warriors’ way, but my sword was the only thing that had brought meaning to my endless life.
We crunched on through the woods, pausing every two hours so that Teri could have a break.  We ate our first meal of the day on rotting tree stumps, covered with snow and ice, nibbling on stale bread pieces to keep us light and moving.
I did not like wearing armor either. I looked at the humming Teri in his tunic and leather jerkins and hooded cloak and sulked. I was so jealous.  Without armor I moved faster and quieter.  But it was necessary if I wished to conceal my sex and avoid looking suspicious.
I didn’t want to look suspicious.  Suspicious people these days were quickly accused in dealing with magic, hunted down, and killed. Even though I doubted any number of humans could kill me, I would much rather avoid ten years of being sought after as the devils’ advocate. 
We walked for several hours in silence before Teri insisted we split up and hunt before nightfall. For a traveling companion, he never complained about his toes being cold.  Instead, he complained about an empty stomach. I grunted. Typical. 
I could go a week without food.  But I guess that was the nice thing about being immortal.  Your body functions worked much slower than normal.
I tossed Teri the last of my half-eaten bread, and sent him off west.  The sun was dying behind the trees, but it would save a few minutes of daylight if he hunted to the west.  Being an immortal it would have been nice to be able to see in the dark, but my bestowed powers weren’t that useful.  But I did have a way of finding food in the middle of nowhere. 
Well if it was game he wanted, I supposed I could be of help. I unsheathed Berdeth once I found an empty clearing and waited until I was sure that Terry was out of sight.
Then I drew a circle in the snow with my sword and sat down in the center of it.  I closed my eyes and let my muscles relax as much as possible without me falling over, and let my mind call out to the forest.
I emptied out my mind, not paying attention to my bottom freezing, or the sound of the trees rubbing against themselves and creaking under the weight of the ice.  I discarded all troubles and took a deep breath of the frigid North air.  Through clouded eyes I saw my breath turn to fog.
The first time my mother told me to do this, I was scared, but now it was almost a second nature.  Her voice played in my mind as if she was right there.
“Lay your hands out in front of you, palms down.”  She said, “Focus as they touch the ground and feel the energy running up your arms as your worries return to the soil.”  Well, there certainly was no soil, but there was snow.  That counted, I knew. 
I lifted my hands from the ground, and turned my hands so the tips of my fingers were facing towards me.  Touching the fingers tips to tips, I finally cupped my hands out in front of me like I was catching rain, all the while concentrating with my eyes closed.
Following the guidance of the familiar voice, I opened my eyes and witnessed snow from the ground flying immediately to my hands as if possessed by another invisible wind.  I wasn’t commanding the snow to me, I was asking.  My teacher had been an Ancient, or one with nature.  It never ceased to amaze me that she had taught me to form bits of water, no matter what form they were, into a ball, as I was doing now. 
The sphere I now had floating in my hands was starting to break apart.  Bits of snow were starting to fly out of the sphere and hit my palms. 
I searched for the quiet void and feeling of nothingness that would draw the snow to me like a magnet.  It worked.  I soon created a ball of water and snow.  It melted in midair from the heat of my hands.  I willed the air around me to swirl like a tornado.  With my thoughts, I forced it to wrap itself around my hands. 
I held my breath as all feeling left my fingers. The wind didn’t beat my face to an icicle like it used to when first learned this magic trick.  It obeyed and stayed specifically around my hands and around the ball, freezing it completely to a perfectly clear sphere of ice. 
The wind dispersed as violently as it was conjured, and I fell onto my back rubbing my frozen hands together, fighting a scream as the feeling began coming back as stinging needles of hell.
I sat there for a moment or two, cursing my stupid idea, and rubbing my hands, when a Black Bing landed silently close by surveying me critically. 
I didn’t like animals.  I yelled at it to go away, but it hopped closer.  My heart jumped.  I picked up Berdeth and swung her wildly all the while running towards the bird.  The blue metal sang when it was whipped around that fast, and I quickly forgot my fear.
The bird crouched low to the ground for a second until it was sure that I was coming to get it, and finally took off.  I stopped abruptly when it flew away and made sure that it didn’t return.  I hated animals, especially birds.
I returned to my sphere and picked it up off of the ground with my free hand, thankful that the sphere wasn’t cold anymore.  It was actually quite warm.  I wrapped my hands around the transparent globe, feeling it vibrate as the snow swirling inside of it melted.  My shoulders dropped as I realized that I had broken my sword drawn circle when I chased after the bird. 
“Damn.”  I said, and drew another circle with my blade.  I drew it faster this time, the blade almost sang.
I was completely finished with a third vibrating orb, when Teri came marching out of the woods, carrying a dead squirrel by its feet.  “Look Fazlin!”  He cried when he saw me and hurried over.  I stood up and sheathed Berdeth, cradling the warm spheres in my arms.
“What do you have there?” He asked, poking one.  “Is it glass?”  I smiled.  Teri had asked to learn all that I knew about becoming a warrior, not the magic of the Ancients.  I would never tell him what these were.
“No.”  I said simply, handing him one.  He asked several questions after that, like what was it made out of, is it breakable, all of which I remained silent.  He could never make one anyway, so showing him how they operated wasn’t even logical.  Night was falling, and we camped in the clearing. 
The nice thing about having an apprentice was you never really have to do anything if you do not want to.  I told Teri to leave his sphere here and fetch wood for a fire, and he ran off as fast as a hound after a stick.
When he was gone I threw the spheres up into the air and made them spin.  The more there were rotating in a circle, the easier it was for me to transmute something.  But I only had enough energy to make three tonight.  They spun faster now, glinting off the dying rays of the setting sun.  Finally, they had achieved enough speed that I could no longer tell one orb from another.  There was simply a hoop.
Suddenly, as I willed it, a huge unsuspecting salmon was sucked out of its home in a river somewhere and transmuted to my circle.  It fell through the hoop onto the frozen ground and died with a loud smack!  The orb that had transmuted the fish, Flew out of the rotating hoop and dropped to the ground as black slush.  Then another fish fell out, twice as big as the first, and flopped onto the snow, shocked by the sudden temperature change.  Again an orb flew out as black slush.  Under the soft light of the sunset, it almost looked like blood. 
The larger fish continued flopping around until I severed its head with my sword.  I absentmindedly thought about a previous battle, cursing as I did so.  The last orb had been listening to my thoughts.  It saw the picture in my mind and obeyed.  The final orb flew out farther than the other two, and the next being that fell out of the hoop wasn’t a fish.