A prologue to a fantasy story - please review |
Im a very new writer, please review my prologue - if people like it, I may expand it inyo a full storey ive got some ideas. Thanks - Mark Garic detested town watch duty. Every night he was given the same monotonous task. He sat atop the wooden tower structure overlooking the eastern entrance to Atriop, wishing he was in bed. His tower was one of two towers over the gate, and was each manned by one man. One man so the guards weren’t distracted by talking to one another. Atriop was a border town, and faced towards the mountains to the east which were uninhabited, and no-one ever passed along it. Atriop sat at a point where the mountains began to level out into wide valleys, which the Acrusian Empire was renowned. Garic had done this now for a year, and not once had anything interesting occurred. He cursed himself for his desire to pursue a career as town guard. He was an idealist, he had large plans to be town guard – fight for the Arcrusian Empire and slay the enemy who would come from the east, just like in the great wars of over 300 years ago. He would than go home and make passionate love to the town elders daughters (plural). The grim reality Garic found was surprisingly different. He still remembers the day he put on his uniform, the fur greaves, the boots and the large vest with the green insignia of Atriop. He had read out the guard’s oath in front of all his friends and his older sister Liberty, his only family. He was awarded his sword, and promised to only use it to defend the empire, and the town of Atriop. Such a proud day, full of hope for the future. He cursed himself again. Why didn’t he become a blacksmith, or a farmer? He would be earning a lot more money, like all of his friends. Guard’s men were poorly paid by the Empire. Tonight was a particular bad night. The weather was terrible; the rain had not stopped now for three days with the winds fury savagely beating the town’s wooden walls. The guard tower swayed and creaked to Garic’s severe displeasure. Staying dry was impossible as the rain was thrown sideways under the canvas top of the guard tower the wind. He wrapped himself tighter in his cloak, looking out over the green valley beyond the walls that looked up to the huge peaks of the Pearl Mountains. Thunder and lightning danced across the sky, never reaching ground. It caused a light display rarely seen in Acrusia. It was a great sight Garic admitted, but he’d still rather be in bed dreaming of being a real soldier. His thoughts were interrupted by Captain Bryonts bellowing voice from the town floor ‘GARIC!’ he shouted. Garic and the other guards loathed Bryont. He was fat, lazy, and incompetent, an embarrassment to the soldiering profession. Garic considered himself a good Guard, even though he held disdain for his job. The only reason Bryont held such rank was because his father was a town elder. ‘GARIC, you had better not be asleep up there, its freezing and I want to get back into the fort. There’s lots of paper work to do’. Garic almost laughed out loud ‘Paperwork’ he thought, yeah right. All Bryont did was sat in the confines of the fort – the only concrete building in the town and put his feet up next to the fire. Garic walked to the edge and looked over ‘YES BRYONT, what is it?’ Bryont stood there with a fur jacket on and a lantern. The wind meant he had to raise his voice to be heard. ‘I’m just doing my rounds Garic, carry on’. Bryont waddled off to harass the other eastern guard tower, and would undoubtedly return to the fort to warm up on the fire – the fat bastard. Garic looked back over the valley, he tightened himself back into his cloak, and perched himself upon the bench. He put his bow on the ground and blew into his hands for warmth. He looked out across the green valley, and as a flash of lightning rippled across the overcast sky – he saw it. He was unsure as to what it was; it looked as though a large figure was standing atop the valley amongst the trees. The outline only became visible as the lightning’s electric ripples passed across the sky, illuminating the horizon. Every few seconds the ‘thing’ became visible than as darkness returned, it was hidden again. Garic strained his eyes to see, he peered over the edge of the tower trying to get a closer look, it was too large to be a man – yet it had a mans outline. It looked as though it was a man of about 10 ft tall just standing there in a large cloak. It couldn’t have been a traveler, as no one traveled after dark in Acrusia. It was illegal for one, and there was nothing to the east except the mountains, which stretched for an eternity. Unsure as to what to do he looked to the other tower gate tower. The wind and rain meant he couldn’t shout to Michael to see if he saw it, he looked to the bell, pondering whether this was the right time to ring it. The bell very rarely gets rang; the last time was around 10 years ago when Garic was a child. It turned out to be a lost mountain lion that the Archers efficiently disposed off. This was no lion, and the thing just stood there, as if it was looking over the town. Garic had to admit, he was becoming a little frightened. Nothing ever happened in this part of the empire. The Empires Grand Elders in the capitol had even decided that guards need not patrol the land outside of the towns in this part of Acrusia anymore. Garic decided just to watch, for all he knew it could have been some sort of new unseen animal from the mountains, nothing to fear. But for some reason, He knew this was an optimistic thought. Than it began to move. The eastern town guard watched intently as the man raised his hands to the sky. Garic knew this what not good. He stood and walked to the town bell, than the infantry could have a look But what happened next stopped him in his tracks, his hands on the rope. The event that was to occur was nothing he had ever seen before in his life. Garic dropped the rope than looked out to the valley before him. The lightning from the sky began to increase in frequency and energy, as the figures hands were raised it seemed to be attracting the lightning towards itself. The wind increased in speed, and the clouds began to swirl around above the town of Atriop. Garic was awestruck, and jumped back a step as the lightning began to strike the ground just around the cloaked figure. The whole valley became alight with bright flashes of sound and light. Michal’s attention had now been gained and he peered across the valley also. The southern bell began to ring, followed by the northern, western bell. The eastern still did not ring as Garic and Michael were captivated by the site in front of him. Garic’s skin began to tingle with static as the sheer amount of energy could be felt by this awesome display. It seemed as if the whole sky was being drawn to this lonesome figure on the valley. People began to come out o their wooden houses to see what was gong on. The whole town’s population would have been awoken by the sound of the lightning, let alone the bells. Confusion swept over some of the townsfolk. Nothing ever happened in Atriop, until tonight Back on the eastern valley the dark figure than began to lower his arms. Just as suddenly as it began it had stopped again. Garic looked up into the sky. The rain had suddenly stopped, and the clouds had disappeared revealing a sea of stars. The wind stopped moving, and everything was ominously quite. Garic was suddenly aware of his own beating heart. The stars had revealed this figure more, and the figures eyes were clearly visible. This was a man, a very tall man. These were eyes that Garic had never seen before. The man looked upon Atriop from the high valley with sheer hatred and disgust. Of all that had happened so far, this shook Garic to the core. The eyes gave away this figure’s intentions more than anything else, and Garic knew something terrible was standing on the valley. At this Garic’s soldier instincts seem to surge from within himself and he grabbed for his bow. He also checked that his short sword was in place to his side. He threw down his cloak and grabbed an arrow from the sac on his back, and aimed towards the valley. It would be a very difficult shot, if it came to that. He had heard of powerful magicians before, and the town had some magical healers, but this was something very different. Behind him the other town guards began to assemble at the town gate, swords drawn and fear in their eyes. Bryont came storming out of the fort, looked into the now clear sky ‘what in gods name’. He ran towards the eastern tower ‘What in Acrusia is happening up there’. ’Bryont’ Garic replied ‘get the towns folk into the fort’, his eyes stayed transfixed onto the bright eyes that were on the valley. The figure than raised his arms and his head once more and a giant ball of orange and yellow began to amass between his hands. Only Garic and Michael could see directly what was occurring, but the light was so bright the people in the town knew something big was happening. Than the figure looked towards Atriop again and in that split second Garic saw a little smirk come across the figures mouth, and with the he flung his arms forward. Garic ducked down, as a giant ball of flame flew from the mans hand at an amazing speed from the valley towards the town, it caused a surge of hot wind and light as it passed between the Eastern Towers, over the gate and raced to the centre of the town. The fort was its target, and it hit with an amazing explosion of sound and bright light. To everyone’s amazement the forts wall collapsed, and the entire structure caved in around it. Panic erupted as the towns people began screaming, and running away from the remains of the only concrete building in Atriop. The fort was the agreed place for people to hide if a siege ever occurred, and it was destroyed in an instant by one man. Garic and Michael exchanged extremely worried looks between the two towers covering the eastern gate, and at that instant a fire ball exploded into Michael’s tower causing the wooden structure to explode into thousands of splinters. Michael’s body was flung through the air and landed in between the gate and the other guardsmen. There was shock from the other guards as the burnt body landed feet from them. Garic knew what was going to happen next and quickly dived towards the ladder leading down the tower, as he was lowering down it, a ball of fire destroyed his tower and he was flung from the site of the explosion. He clambered himself up, and looked across the town square towards the wreckage of the fort. Garic saw his sister watching the scene from the doorstep of their home, a hand over her mouth. He wanted to ensure she was safe before anything, he had promised his father that when he was a little boy. He ran over to her, and grabbed her arm to pull her inside ‘Garic, what on earth is going on. Is it a fire? Is Michal OK’. When he was inside, he closed the font door quickly. ‘There’s no time to explain Liberty, you need to get to the basement now’. And at that he walked her to the trap door in the floor. ‘Please, what’s going on out there’? He opened the wooden door and let his Sister walk doen the steps. The basement was for the storage of beer, as Liberty ran the local inn. ‘Ill explain later, just please stay in here, and don’t move’. He closed the trap door behind her, and covered it up with the rug. He than went to go back outside and see what he could do, he opened the door and looked across from his home to the town gate. To his horror the town gate had been completely destroyed, and the figure was now in the town hacking at the towns guard with a battle axe. The guards all tried in vein to stop the cloaked man, but he was too powerful. One by one he chopped, and he hacked. Screams of pain were heard from them. Blood sprayed al over the dark figures clothing as he disemboweled the guards. Most of the guards Garic knew well, the had all graduated from the Academy in the Capitol city, to return to their home towns. Garic stood in the doorway and watched this horrendous site; tears began to well in his eyes. They were all being slaughtered in front of him like they were pieces of meat. This man, had no mercy as he just killed them all one by one. Anger began to rise within Garic, and he ran towards the figure who was on the other side of the town square. The figure than casually pulled his axe out of the last guards skull and returned it to its sheath. The figure looked around in disgust at the town that he had already partly destroyed. He raised his arms once again and amassed a ball of fire, which he striked at a house. The wooden houses of Atriop had no chance against the awesome power that the figure could deliver. It exploded into thousands of pieces of wood and ash that rained from the sky. The people who hid inside would certainly have been killed. He than repeated this and destroyed the second house, than the third, than the fourth. Garic took his sword out and as he got close to the figure begin to raise the sword and swung to hit, the figure stepped aside and Garic missed. He raised his sword to strike again when the figure grabbed his arm. The strength in this mans arms was nothing Garic had encountered before; he had no chance and was thrown to the body strewn ground. His eyes were lit up, filled with energy. He put his boot on Garic’s neck and unsheathed his battleaxe raising it in the air. The sheer hatred still in his eyes he began to descend the blade towards Garic’s skull. Garic knew this was the end, and closed his eyes. Garic had always been told that you’re life flashed before you when you was about to die. He could still hear the whimpers of the guards around him, and the crackling of the fire. He could smell burning wood, and the pain of the boot pressing against his throat. He could feel the heat on his face from the fires, and at that moment, he knew he was still alive. Garic slowly reopened his eyes. What he saw before him was not what he expected. Under the cloak of the figure, the hatred filled eyes had subsided and were replaced with caring sad eyes. These were the eyes of a human, and were nothing like those eyes Garic saw looking over the town from the valley. The figure removed his boot and took a couple of steps back, dropping his axe to the ground. Garic immediately rolled back and stood up again. He was now face to face with the man who was destroying his home. With fire raging around all around them, the man spoke. The voice was not what Garic expected. It could not possibly belong to the man who caused all this destruction. ‘I know you’ the figure said. Garic just stood there, thinking of how he could possibly stop this man. ‘Garic, you have grown well, you’re mother would be very proud’. The shock hit him, more than any weapon could. How could he possibly know my name? How could this beast know my name? Garic stayed silent, all he wanted to do was to kill this man right now, to chop his head off and display it on the walls of his tower as a warning to never try and harm his town. The man just looked upon Garic with pity in his eyes. The man than raised his hands up to the heavens once again, and again he amassed a ball of fire, which he held suspended in the air. His hood dropped down revealing his face ‘I’m sorry son’. Garic took a step back and all anger left him. He stood there silenced by what the man had just said. For the first time Garic could see the man’s features clearly in the light. The gentle face covered in blood was familiar, and for a split second Garic understood. The next second, Garic was dead. |