No ratings.
English comedy...hopefully...experiences of a chav single mum. |
"Urgh" Cindy sighed as she looked into the mirror, "how the hell can I be expected to go out looking like the backside of a dead pigeon?" Cindy rummaged through her make up bag which had got increasingly large over the past few years. Finally, she found the instant face transformation, all day, all glow, no smear, no shine, satin crispy sun dried biscuit foundation, crème a la transformique and smeared it onto her skin. Nearly finished she hastily added some eye shadow and a dab or two of Kate mosses favorite lip gloss to her reflection. "there" she smiled as the familiar orange face and white neck beamed back at her. " that’s more like it" Cindy scrapped back her hollyoaks blonde hair into a tight, high pony tail and immensed herself in Georgio Gino eau de au revior. Cindy sighed happily at herself in the mirror and put on her new red leather boots. "CANTONA!!" she screeched up the stairs. "Get your bloody arse down here right now...your gonna be late for school and I’m not having that bloody stuck up receptionist looking down on us again. Switch that bloody thing off and get down here now!!!" Cindy dispaired. Nothing much went right for Cindy over past few years. She seemed to have gone from a life full of promise and hope to one of routine and hard work. Her Dad dying had hit her hard but she was not yet ready willing or able to admit this to herself. Every now again Cindy would sit and watch the races and think of her Dad. She had some very lovely sisters, but somehow, they couldn't begin to understand the lonliness her heart felt. In all honesty Cindy didn't understand this loneliness either. She knew she wanted someone around, someone for her who she could truely believe in. Cindy never really had much to believe in other than fashion and make up. Sometimes the tangible things were just much more easier. Cindy sprayed herself in more and more perfume until she had scared every ounce of lonliness into submission. As the front door slammed shut Cindy totted off down the road Cantana in tow, trying not to walk like bambi in her pencil thin heels. "Come here Hun, you’ve got weetabix stuck to your face agen chick" Cantona winced as Cindys cold wet thumb approached his face, she grasped the back of his head with her inch long diamante encrusted acrylics. The mix of tobacco an eau de au revoir swayed Cantana backwards slightly. He opened his eyes to find his mums yellowing teeth smiling back at him. "there" Cindy said, "your all done" Cindy released the claw and straightened Cantanas hair. As they approached the school gates Cindy bent down and squeezed her face towards Cantana for a goodbye kiss. Again Cantana winced and quickly pressed his cheek against her face. "Bye mum" said Cantona hastily and ran off to the comforting mob of his noisy friends. "Have a good day honey" Cindy cooed after him in a voice that was just a bit too loud. The other mothers looked at each other and sniggered. "What are you looking at?" Cindy was sick of the stuck up jealous bitches. However looking down she realized she was still carrying Cantanas lunchbox. "shit" thought Cindy and her eyes quickly scanned the pond of darting school kids. "Cantonaaaaaa" Cindy yelled as she dashed into the play ground. " CANTAANNAAA where are you? Canto..." Cindy was about to carry on but saw a strategically placed white linen trouser leg in her path just a little too late. " ...ARGH" Cindy toppled over with a thump on to the concrete. A little dazed she looked up to see Cantana carefully retrieving his lunch box from a rhododendron bush. Cindy’s orange face turned crimson and as she glanced towards the gates she saw the mothers in fits of laughter. " I imagine you would like some help getting up?" A woman had appeared from nowhere, it was Mrs. Colon from the pta. Cindy stood herself up adjusted her skirt and looked at Mrs. colon. She had a bright twinkle in her eyes and as a horrified Cindy saw, she was wearing white linen trousers. "Oh i do hope you are ok?" Mrs. colon inquired with a very wry smile. " probably the heels darling" Cindy still in shock, noticed she was hurt, she looked down to see her bleeding finger, cracked open by shattered acrylic. "My diamantes!" “cantona…what a delightful name” The smug look on Mrs. colons face was too much for Cindy to bear, something inside her snapped with the ease of a false finger nail. " you bitch!!!!!!" Cindy lunged forward grabbing Mrs. colon by the throat and bought her to the ground. A gasp could be heard from outside the gates and Mrs. colon was screaming the name of her husband. Before Cindy knew what was happening Mrs. colon had hold of Cindy’s hair and was tearing at it for dear life. "geeeerrrrald help!!!" Mrs. colon managed as she grasped for air. "ooooooowwwwwwwwww" wailed Cindy, do you know how much those extensions cost? hey cantona look I’m gonna have the bitch.” Cindy swiped at Mrs. colons face, the woman turned back and spat at Cindy. " Ladies LADIES!!!!!" The authoritative voice made the two women stop fighting automatically. Cindy sheepishly stood up and smoothed down her hair. It was miss Stickling the headmistress. "My office, the pair of you...NOW!!!!!" Sat in Miss Sticklings office had quite an effect on Cindy. Perhaps it was the look on Miss Sticklings face or her huge desk and the little chairs, or even the constant whimpering and crying of Mrs. Colon but Cindy felt like she was nine years old again. “Right ladies. Now you have calmed down a little, if you could perhaps inform me why I and the rest of the school have had to witness such ridiculous behavior?” “Have you called my husband Miss Stickling?” “ your husband will be here shortly Mrs. Colon but first I want to hear why two grown up women have been fighting like stray cats in my playground.” “She attacked me Miss Stickling” A very dazed and crumpled looking Mrs. Colon pointed at Cindy “like a savage….beast!” Cindy smirked. “Serves her right the fookin bitch.” Cindy folded her arms and looked out of the door, the receptionist face grinned back at her, startled slightly Cindy turned round and looked at the ceiling. “I…gracefully, kindly offered to help the thing up off the floor and she attacked me miss Stickling …she jumped on me…strangled me…she tried to kill me…when my husband gets here you wait missy…we will…were going to…we will call the police for attempted murder!” “Attempted murder?” Cindy was a little shocked. “You tripped me up on purpose you sad old fat frump, I aint getting done for no attempted murder, I’d best finish the job off now while I gots the chance eh?” Cindy stood up “Ladies ladies, shut up and sit DOWN! Cindy sat down and tapped her foot on the floor impatiently. “Well.” Miss stickling paused for effect, “It seems, Mrs. Colon that we do have rather a problem here. As a devoted member of the P.T.A you will understand what problems a police investigation could cause for our school, not to mention the negative media attention that it would attract. I mean, would you really want young Gerald junior attending a school where an attempted murder had taken place?” “Gerald junior?” Giggled Cindy. “Shut up Miss Kicks thank you. You have done enough.” Cindy sank deeper into her chair. “Now Miss Colon, you do not seem to have thought through what you are saying correctly. I know you are very attached to the school and you are a valuable member of the P.T.A, I would hate to loose you I really would.” Miss Stickling took off her glasses and sat on the edge of the desk. “I understand you are still in shock however if the police were to be called and I was asked to give a statement, well, I’m afraid I would have to remember last years cake sale when you purposely pushed poor Mrs. Sprinkles into her table of prize winning macaroons. You do remember the little chat we had then I presume? Mrs. Colons face fell and she looked at the floor. “Now Cindy,” continued Miss Stickling, “ I imagine you want your child, er, erm, Cantona to stay at this school?” “Yes Miss” “Well then I suggest you try and keep away from Mrs. Colon in future, I am assuming Mrs. Colon will cause you no further problems?” Miss Stickling shot her a meaningful look. “No Miss Stickling” she mumbled. Miss Stickling smiled. “ Yes Mrs. Colon will be very busy organizing the P.T.A’s new fundraiser wont you? I trust you will find us something you can donate this time Miss Kicks? “Oh yes Miss” Cindy said a bit quick for her own liking. “Right ladies, run along I’m sure you have plenty of things to be getting on with, and we’ll be hearing no more of this Mrs. Colon. Do you understand?” Cindy ran out of the school in fits of giggles. “Fuck I need a fag” she said. Cindy reached into her handbag and found her phone. “Sis? Your not gonna believe this one, I’ll be round in five, just gonna nip to the offy, get some vodka to calm me nerves” Ez and Gerri were Cindy’s two sisters they lived in a small council bungalow just up the road from Cindy. They claimed disability benefit for a jippy leg and a gammy hip respectively and Cindy was their listed home help though she gave them the money so they could get dope “to ease us pains yer know” as Ez often put it. Ez and Gerri rarely moved off the sofa and some days Cindy had watched them scream with pain. Cindy had always tried to help them the best she could. “Pass us the voddie sis then.” “Oh, morning to you too…you’re never gonna believe what happened at the school this morning.” “There’s some glasses in the cupboard you know, Gerri put the radio on you fat cow.” “It’s me hip Ez, bloody killing me this morning” I’ll do it.” Cindy shouted as she came through from the kitchen. “You two not watching Trisha today? Ere, drink these.” “Ta sis, is vodka fattening? Doc says I’ve gotta watch me weight.” “Well there’s enough of it to watch.” “Shurrup Gerri, you’re hardly twiggy yourself are yeh?” “I’m only joking Ez, anyway, gotta be less calories than beer right? Healthy option I reckon. Cheers.” “Cindy we has got a little favour to ask of you, me and Gerri been looking through the catalogue and we reckons we be wanting one of them there plasmatic T.V. thingies. “A plasma screen T.V.?” Cindy’s heart sank, she found it hard to say no to her sisters at the best of times. “Yeah that’s it, well we can’t watch sky plus on this old thing can we? That’s why we aint watching Trisha, it’s broke.” Cindy went over to put the radio on and inspect the T.V. A hole the size of a cigarette had been burned through the T.V. wire. “How the bloody hell did this happen?” “Not a clue sis.” said Ez, “One minute we woz watching Corrie, next thing the bloody thing exploded, burst into flames, coulda killed us.” “Yeh we was petrified Cindy, reckon its that dodgy shop you got it from.” “What, Dixons?” “OOOOhhh was it from Dixons? Quite posh at Dixon’s Gerri.” “Do they do plasmatics at Dixons Cindy?” Cindy sighed and sat down. She began touching up her make up while her sisters bickered in the background. “We canna sit ere all day wi no tele on can wi?” “No Ez, dunna worry, that’s in breech of our human rights, reckon European Unison’d have sommat to say about bout it, pass us t’phone, I’ll apply forra social fund loan…” Cindy looked out from behind her compact mirror. “You cant have another loan they said Sis” “What do you mean we cant have another loan? Whats the social doing all day? We’ve got rights you know?” “Sis you know perfectly well that you have had two grand out of them in the past six months, they won’t let you have anymore.” “We’d have plenty Cindy if you’d get yourself a decent man.” Cindys heart froze. “Look I’ll order you the T.V. out of the catalogue, but I want the payments this time, Avon’s gone right down hill recently and I’m gonna have to take on five more streets.” “What about the lad?” Said Ez “ Could he not do some?” Cindy sighed again. “The lads seven Ez. And as for a man I’ve told you, I’m waiting for Mr. Right.” Oooohhhhhh” laughed Ez and Gerri together, “Mr Right eh? You know your problem? You’ve got ideas above your station.” “Gerri that’s not true, here I got yer fags.” “Ez it is she told me…you know that footballer she was seeing? Lanky lad, no shoulders, she dumped him coz he was only Sunday league.” “She never?” said Ez. “Aint that right Cindy?” “Look you two,” Cindy snapped, “I’m a decent catch right, I look after myself and keep myself nice, I just want a man that can…” “Keep you.” said her sisters, laughing together. “You’ll see.” said Cindy in a distant voice, “have you seen Paul Rinscey? Plays for united, now there’s a man that’s worth more than Sunday league” “Shut up woman.” said Ez laughing, “I’ll be needing me tena lady changing at this rate, put the kettle on, that’s vodkas made me thirsty.” Ez and Gerri roared with laughter and Cindy got up to make the tea. “ She dreams of lunch at the Ivy and Parada handbags.” laughed Gerri. “Ooohh, black Gucci dresses and Channel number 5 sis.” “Seriously though Ez.” “What Sis?” “You know who I blame for all this don’t you?” “No who?” “Posh Spice!” The sisters nearly fell off the settee laughing but Cindy pretended not to hear them, instead she text Jane to arrange a time to fix her nails. “Ere Cindy, get your arse in here.” Cindy walked back into the smoke filled front room to find her sisters buzzing with excitement. “What is it Ez? You won fifty quid on them scratch cards or sommat?” “Ere you dopey cow, hold this.” Ez passed Cindy the phone. “If you get through the answer is “if I can’t have you I don’t want no body baby.” “Are you trying to be funny?” “Just bloody do it Cindy, you know me and your sister are shy.” “Shy?” Cindy didn’t have time to question any firther as a voice on the reciever said. “CONGRATULATIONS! You are listening to magic fm 96.4. Furry Mary the godmother of soul is here to give you four tickets to tonights Christmas party at the Palace Hotel. Special V.I.P. guests include we’re cutsipies the top selling boy band and the whole of the United football team. For your chance to win just tell me the winning answer.” “Er … if I can’t have you, I don’t want no body baby?” Cindy stammered. “Congratulations hun, you’ve got the tickets, stay on the line to give your details and the limo will pick you up at seven, ok hun?” “Oh. My. GGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDD” Screamed Cindy. “AAARRRRGGGHHHH” All of a sudden all of Cindy’s Christmas’ had come at once, she jumped up and down in her sisters front room screaming. “See, what did I tell you?” “I’m gonna meet him, I’m gonna mmmmmmeeeeeeet HHHIMM!!” Cindys bubble burst slightly as she turned around to see her sisters bouncing up and down for joy on the creaking sofa that was obviously having trouble taking the pressure. “Yipppppeeeeeee!” screamed Ez. “We’re, going to pull footballers Ez,” Gerri beamed, “We’ll be rrrriiiiiccchhhhh!!!!!” “KER HUM.” coughed Cindy. Ez and Gerri turned and looked at each other with shocked wide eyes. “ER….It be a miracle Gerri.” Ez stressed quickly. “Sure is!” agreed Gerri. “We is cured.” Cindy gave her address and put the phone down. A worried silence had creeped around the front room and the sisters waited eagerly for Cindys next words. “I don’t fookin believe you two.” she snapped. “Four fookin years I’ve been looking after you two, you pair of selfish, scabby, fat, fookin layabouts.” “We’re ever so grateful sis aren’t we Ez? Probably all that caring you done that helped us get better so quick eh?” Cindy sighed, “ Right, well I can only think of one thing left to do now.” “What’s that sis? The sisters were nervous and neither one dare ask if they were still getting the new T.V. “Best get us down the tanning shop sharpish.” Cindy winked at her sisters as she picked up her bag, “And you two are gonna need a wax.” Cindy skipped along the pavement her handbag swaying to the sounds of her sisters screaming, she could think of no better treatment than a full body wax for the pair. Strangely when she got to the school gates everyone was smiling at her and some women even moved out of her way so she could pass. Cindy didn’t take too much notice though, it was three hours and thirty minutes until the limo rolled up outside her house and she had to choose what to wear and get her nails done in that time. “Hi ya mum.” Cantona said with a smile. Suddenly Cindy froze, she’d been so busy chasing round town with her sisters that she had forgot to get a babysitter for Cantona. What was she going to do? She could hardly miss the chance of a life time and she hadn’t got anyone to ask. Cindy quickly scanned the crowd of mums at the gates but she knew none of the faces. “Cantona?” “Yes mum? Whats the matter? You look pale.” “Pale?” Cindy was horrified. “Look we have to sort this out, Mummy won a competition today and well…Auntie Ez and Auntie Gerri and me we were, are, erm…Look chick you like united right?” “Oh mum, you know I support city.” Cindy sighed slowly, “Your father had such hopes for you, you know?” Cantana’s eyes started brimming with tears and this was too much to for Cindy to bear. “Right chick, do you still have that suit you wore to Uncle Herberts funeral?” “Cause mum, why?” “Well we’re all going out tonight, right posh do, you’ll love it, we’re going in a posh car and Auntie Ez and Auntie Gerri are coming as well. They’ll be posh food and dancing and United players, you’ll love it hun.” Cantonas face didn’t seem to reflect this very much but Cindy carried on regardless. “You know you’ve always wanted to meet a proper football player? Well they’ll be loads tonight and all the dessert you can eat hun.” Cantona cheered up slightly. “So, did you have a good day at school?” “Well yeah, it was alright” “Good coz I had to put your play station in cash converters so I could get your Aunties some evening dresses from Bon Marche, they were well impressed, French evening dresses. Don’t look at me like that, I’ll get it out when my money comes in next week I promise, now, what do you want for tea? Chippie?” As the limo pulled up, the crowds eagerly strained their eyes to catch a glimpse of who was inside, about a hundred and fifty teenage girls held their breath expecting a glimpse of the famous werecutsiepies the boy band and that’s about how many disappointed sighs you could here from the crowd as a sparkling Cindy carefully stepped out of the limousine. Ez and Gerri pushed to get out of the car together and they were followed by a very bored looking Cantona who had been looking forward to an evening racing cars on the play station with his friends. Cindy hardly noticed though, she was captivated by the grand Christmas lights at The Palace Hotel, as she waltzed up the steps she turned to check they were following her and reached into her glittery Avon purse for the entrance passes. As they entered the foyer Cindy stood for a moment and stared upwards at the vast staircase decorated heavily with what she would call posh green stuff, she felt like she was in another world, as she gazed up further she was awe struck at the high ceiling, the chandelier glistened in the reflection from the Christmas lights. This was as close to perfect as Cindys life had ever been. The Walnut Room was laid out beautifully with cicular tables outlining the huge shining dance floor perfectly. A disco ball hovered above their heads beaming out light sparkles all over the room. Cindy was in heaven, as she glanced over towards the end of the room she saw a large head table with about twenty seats that was obviously arranged for the V.I.P. guests. Cindy found the correct table and everyone sat down, Cindy could hardly talk she was so awe struck. “All reeght ere int it Ez?” Gerri had removed an apple from the tables center piece and began eating it. “Not bad at all Gerr, whens the team arriving?” “ You know I reckons we should try for the manager Ez, I think he would appreciate a full figured, mature woman like myself.” “I think he would appreciate one with abit more class Gerri.” Cindy said rescuing the apple quickly. “Ohh it’s all for us you know Cindy? We is V.I.P’s tonight girl.” “Ohh!” Cindy drew a deep breath, “they’re here.” From the far corner of the room a little side door opened and a little man dressed as a waiter walked through and started pouring the wine. Following him were about fifteen men the eldest leading the group, and they all sat down at the head table. Cindy strained her eyes to see Rinscey, there were so many suits about it was hard to tell if he was here or not. She strained her neck and tried to pretend she wasn’t looking but the room was bustling now as the boy band had arrived with their mothers, body guards and a rather odd looking man that looked like a French fashion designer. Though the crowd Cindy noticed the trade mark tattoo on Rinscey’s neck, it was an ancient Chinese symbol meaning united forever, Cindy’s heart poured with excitement, he was here! Quickly she turned round to look at her family at the table, she dare not let him see her look. “Play it cool Cindy girl.” she noted mentally. She reached for her purse.“ Right, I’m off to the bogs to sort out me lippy. Cantana will you stop sulking chick? Look the footballers are here now.” Cantona was glum. To be out with his mum was bad enough but he secretly hated his aunties and even at a circular table there was little room to breathe squashed between dumb and dumber as he affectionately liked to call them. Cantona watched the crowd of people, at the top table the crap manager was giving some of his crap players a lecture as one of them passed a note to the other and placed it in his pocket. The waiters were pouring out wine, that to Cantona tasted like rats blood or wee depending on the colour and the poncy boy band were having extra gel put on their hair for the photographer who looked abit like his uncle Herbert, before he had died. “Ere our Cantona, have a grape or two while your mams at the bogs.” Cindy had bought some new lipstick just for this evening that was the same colour as her nails, she happily put her mirror back in her purse and walked out towards her table, her heels slid slightly on the polished dance floor, she stopped momentarily but no one had seen her stumble, this had to be the best day of life bar none, never had she been in such rich surroundings with so many well to do people. As she got half way across the dance floor she noticed a man was walking towards her, she knew those deep eyes and relaxed smile from the copy of last years heat calendar, what did surprise her though was how tall he was, Cindy felt about three feet tall as he approached, her heart was beating so fast she thought she may have to have some of her sisters pills. “Hi there.” Rinscey said in a very friendly voice “Kheri” Cindy choked as he walked past her, she turned to watch him walk into the mens toilets and was shocked to see him turn around and smile again. Cindy dashed back to her table with a smile so wide her sisters instantly picked up on it. “You haven’t?” Gerri said, “All ready?” “Get your mind out of the gutter Gerri, I saw him he smiled and guess what else?” Cindy stressed “He said hi!” “Ohhh Ez quick by a hat.” Gerri returned sarcastically. “And what has happened to these grapes?” Cindy was annoyed, could her sisters not behave for five bloody minutes? “OOOhhh it wasn’t us Cindy,” Ez piped up. “That son of yours, bloody gannet that one, soon as you were gone and we told him didn’t we Gerrri, yer mam’ll be cross, but did he listen? Just like his bloody waste of space father.” This was too much for Cantona to bear, he stood up from the table. “Don’t blame me you pair of fat, fat…pigs, it was you who ate them not me!” Cantona ran off acroos the dance floor, pushed past the team of hairdressers and vanished out the door. “Shit, look what you two have done now,” Cindy was livid, “You’d best help me chase after him, Cantona! CANTONAAAAA” Cindy raced to the door but Cantona was faster she saw him pass the crowd of teenage fans and disappear to the left heading for the door. “Cantona!! Come back chick, CANTONA!!!” Cindy rushed through the crowd of pushy kids and headed towards the reception, Cantona had just started going down the stairs to the driveway. Cindy picked up the edge of her skirt and prepared to speed up behind him. “Canton…” But out of the corner of her eye she saw a protruding leg wearing a black suede shoe. “…ARGH!!!” Cindy toppled over onto the floor, a little shaken she saw her sisters race out after Cantona and as she looked down she saw she had broken the heel of her shoe. “Fuck.” said Cindy. “Oh. Are you ok there darling? Is there anything I can do?” Cindy looked up to see a pair of black suede shoes, as she got on her feet she realized they belonged to Mrs. Colon. “OH MY GOD, you snidey fat bitch.” Cindy looked in disgust at mrs. Colons smug grin. “Oh Cindy, how nice to see you.” Mrs Colon slimed. “Right.” Cindy said “You see this shoe?” Cindy held her broken shoe right up to Mrs. Colons grinning face. “Yes my dear, well if you will insist on buying those cheap shoes.” Some of the women around Mrs. Colon laughed. “Well I’m gonna take my cheap broken shoe” Said Cindy, “And stick it right up your fat wrinkly backside, but first, I’m gonna poke both your eyes out with it!!!” “Cindy lunged forward at Mrs. Colon and whacked her on the head with the shoe. “GGGGEEERRRRAAALLLDDD!!!!!” she screamed, it’s the mad woman, she’s stalking me, HHHHEEEELLLLLPPPPP.” Cindy grabbed tightly onto Mrs. Colons fawny brown hair just has two bouncers picked Cindy off the ground. “YYYEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWW” screamed Mrs. Colon “Hahahaha” Cindy laughed, “Serves you right you stuck up snob.” “Get this monster out of here this instant.” Cried Mrs. Colon to the bouncers. Cindys heart sank, she tried to wriggle free from the bouncers but they were too strong, Gerald had arrived and was ordering the bouncers to call the police. Mrs. Colons head had swelled up considerably but Cindy was upset that she hadn’t even drawn blood. “Mum whats up?” Luckily her sisters had managed to convince Cantona to come back inside. “Nothing hun.” reassured Cindy, “Just go back to the party with your aunties I wont be long I just have to fry this annoying lump of pig fat first.” Mrs. Colon was crying and fretting and Gerald was considering calling for an ambulance. “Let go of me you bastard!” Cindy shouted. “Er…anything I can help with?” A voice enquired. “Oh Prinscey.” Cindy blurted out with out realizing what shed said. On seeing the football star the bouncer immediately put her back on the floor. “Call me Paul.” Rinscey said with a reassuring grin. “What’s happened?” “This fat old bitch here tripped me up, she broke my shoe, and then tries to pretend like it never happened.” Cindy showed Paul her shoe. “Broke your shoe hey?” Paul put the shoe in his pocket. “So you lamped her one?” “Well yes,” explained Cindy, “ I was trying to chase after my son.” Cindy smiled. “What’s a girl to do?” Paul and Cindy giggled slightly and Paul turned to the bouncers. “Get these two old crones off to there beds eh mate? Don’t let them back in, if they moan give em this and there’s to be no further mention of it understand?” Paul pulled a wad of noted out of his pocket and gave it to the bouncers, “Now you,” Paul smiled, “Whats your name hun?” “I’m Cindy.” “Well Cindy you and your son can come and join us at our table ok?” As Cindy glided back into the Walnut room with Paul, which is difficult when you only have one shoe, she felt like a heroine that had just been rescued in a fairy tale from a very, very wicked witch. The room was now bursting with life, a D.J. had arrived which had got the guests up on the dance floor, Cindy found her sisters and Cantona on the dance floor. “You alright son?” “Yer mum.” said Cantona, “I’m teaching these two how to dance. I’m sorry mum.” Gerri winked at Cindy and Cindy smiled at Cantona. “Er…we’re sitting over there now hun, next to Paul ok?” “Oooohhh. Paul.” Ez mocked. Cindy ignored her and went to join her new table. Cindy had never laughed so much in her life, around the table the footballers were doing impressions of their manager and playing a drinking game that involved downing a pint of larger while holding your nose if you couldn’t recite the league table backwards. Cindy smiled fondly at Paul who steadily returned her gaze. “Ey Rinscey, looks like your in there mate.” The men around the table roared with laughter. Paul straightened his back a little. “Shut up you lot.” He ordered and turned to Cindy. “Would you care to dance madam?” He smiled. Cindy paused for a moment. “Well.” She smiled back, “I’ll have to take me shoe off.” Paul reached for Cindys hand and lead her to the centre of the dance floor, he glanced at the D.J. who immediately faded out the music and put on endless love by Dianna Ross. Paul held Cindys hips and moved forward, swaying her slightly to reflect his own dancing. Cindy became oblivious to people around her. She could do nothing but to stare openly into Paul’s eyes. At times she felt like crying, never in her life had she felt so close to someone. She had done it. She had found the man of her dreams. As the music faded Paul leaned towards Cindy’s ear. “Thank you.” he whispered and they made their way back to the table, Cantona had joined them and they sat down gracefully as the food was about to be served. Cindy wasn’t sure if she could eat she was so happy, sitting there next to Paul was the only thing that seemed to matter at this moment. She glanced around the room and noticed the manager had been relegated to her sisters table and sat between the two. “Oh the dinner has arrived Gerri darling.” Ez said in her practiced telephone voice. “What a delight.” Gerri replied. “Nothing like dinner with a sophisticated gentleman.” The manager grimaced slightly and tried to give a reassuring smile. “So tell me Dennis, do you have a big, er… appetite?” “Well erm.” the manager choked “I believe in a good home cooked dinners yes.” “Oh we like a man that can handle large portions don’t we Gerri? So tell me darling… ever fancied eating like the French?” “The French?” the manger was a little confused. “Manangè trios?” the sisters inquired. Cindy watched from afar as the manager splurted his soup out all over the table. She didn’t dare imagine what had been said. “Cantona!” she snapped “Cut your bread open with a knife, your not at home now you know?” Fifteen pairs of eyes looked Cindy’s way, she hadn’t realized she had spoken so loud. “Sorry,” Cindy mumbled, “but I believe in good manners right?” sixteen people round the table picked up there knives to cut there bread with and Cindy could of died. “Hey you, relax.” Paul smiled, “Your hardly having dinner with important people.” After the main course the party had really got into full swing, Ez and Gerri had decided to turn alcohol to help them secure the managers affections and they were topping his wine glass at an alarming rate. “Have you ever been married Den? You don’t mind if I call you Den do you?” The manager who had long since given up his will to live mumbled slightly and looked around for an excuse to leave. “Oooohhh sis look at the love birds over there.” Ez had spotted Cindy and Paul back on the dance floor getting rather close. “Bullshit.” the manager stumbled. “What do you mean honey?” Gerri inquired, “Let me pour you another drink…” Cindy was gliding around the dance floor in complete bliss she was so glad she had the foresight to do her toe nails before she came out. “Come over here with me.” Paul led Cindy to a quiet corner and grabbed her by the waist. “I just wanted to say… I’ve had such a good time this evening with you Cind, you are one amazing woman.” Cindy’s eyes widened she didn’t know what to say, her head was still spinning slightly and her heart was begging for this moment to begin, she was sure he was going to kiss her. Paul placed his arms around Cindys neck. “You ready?” he said. Cindys heart melted, she smiled shyly as he leaned forward. The world seemed to stop for a second till all she could hear was, “STTTTTTOOOOPPPPPPPPPP!!!! Cindy, NNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Cindy bounced back into reality to see her sisters bounding down the dance floor towards her dragging a very ill looking football manager with them. “Cindy don’t,” Ez panted out “he’s a fucking lying little worm.” “What?” Cindy said. Gerri reached forward and pulled a white piece of paper out of Rinsceys pocket. “Look.” she said. Cindy felt sick. The paper read. “WAGER. Pull the oranged faced chav slag 50 quid.” A silence of stunned realization paralyzed Cindy. The chimes from the hall way clock could be heard stricking twelve. The stillness was broken only by poor Dennis who collapsed dramatically in a drunken desperation. “Cind, babes, I….I….I can explain.” From somewhere deep inside of Cindy she found the courage to speak, she swallowed her pain slowly and turned towards Paul. “No need hun.” she smiled “I don’t need no explanation from a two faced jumped up fuckin pretty boy like you.” With this Cindy pushed Rinscey into the nearby Christmas tree. With both him and the tree on the floor Cindy turned to her sisters. “We’re leaving. CANTONAAAAAAA? Where are you hun we’re leaving.” “But Cindy.” said Paul. Cindy went over to pile of broken Christmas tree. “But nothing you fuckin bastard, you’re nothing but a lousy skunk.” Cindy kicked the pile of dejected footballer hard in the shin and raced across the room to grab Cantona. “Cantona!!! We’re leaving.” “But mum, I’ve just started dessert.” Cindy glanced around the table and fifteen pieces of footballing scum we’re in absolute hysterics. "You didn't really think he'd be interested in a classless old whore like you did you?" “Cantona…NOW!!!!!” The party of four raced out of the Walnut room. “See you Cind.” “Yeah bye bye darling.” Were the jeers from the table as they left the hotel. Cindy woke to hear loud bashing on her bedroom door. “Cindy come on love you’ve got to get up, Trisha’s on soon.” Cindy’s world shattered as she remembered what had happened the night before, her mascara stained face felt tight with stale tears and there was a gravity in her stomach which made her think she might be sick again. “How could I have been so fuckin stupid?” she thought “To imagine that he’d actually like me, what kind of sad old tart am I?” Cindy collapsed back on the bed with pain and stared pointlessly at the curtains. She didn’t care if the world ended right now, she didn’t care if the cat got fed and she really didn’t care about fuckin trisha. Cindy shook with pain as she tried to recall what had happened that night and what she could of done to see through him. At a loss for answers she began crying hot tears of sorrow, why would anyone do that to someone? She had been laughed at all evening and she never even knew. “Cindy, don’t say we didn’t warn you…count of three and we’re coming in” “One” Cindy thought about the table of laughing footballers. “Two” She winced at the thought of her telling Cantona to eat properly, the shoeless dancing and the fight she’d had with Mrs. Colon. “Three!” Cindy’s sisters fell through the door spilling a cup of tea and a plate as toast as they fell. “Shit.” said Gerri “Bloody hell.” said Ez “You look as rough as a tramp.” “Cheers.” Cindy said, “Go away.” Her sisters looked at each other worryingly. “Cindy…” “Gerri said gently “ You didn’t actually believe in love did you hun?” Cindys stomach tightened. “Look Cindy,” Ez attempted, “men are odd creatures hun, best you can hope for in life is to have one under the thumb doll.” “Yeah,” Gerri agreed, “and you apply pressure whenever necessary.” Cindy smiled distantly. “Thanks you two.” Wearily she slumped out of bed and drank the half a cup of tea that Ez had managed to save. “MMMUUUUUMMM” Cantona called from downstairs. ”There’s a parcel here for you.” Cindy went downstairs and saw a very large box with “Cind” printed on the top of it. Shaking Cindy opened the box, there was a note inside that read, ‘I’m sorry for being a skunk.” Under the note there was Cindy’s broken shoe fixed back together with a chunk of cello tape. “Is he trying to be funny?” Gerri quipped. Underneath this there were two parcels, one for Cindy and one for Cantona. “You first son.” Cindy said. Cantona eagerly opened the parcel to find a brand new Nintendo wii. “Wow!!” Canona said with awe and raced upstairs with it to set it up. “Is there nothing for us?’ Ez cried. “Seems not.” Cindy said. Carefully Cindy unwrapped the stripy gift wrap to reveal her very own pair of Jimmy Choo shoes. “Oh my god.” said Cindy. Cindy never heard from Prinscey ever again after that but she wasn’t too bothered. She proudly wore her designer Jimmy Choo shoes to school every day and even bought clothes that would match the colour. She hoped that everyone would see that she had got the most expensive shoes on the whole estate, and just incase they didn’t, she left the tags on just to be sure. 5009 words. |