Breaking Down

“Damn, it’s hot,” whining came from the seat beside. I am fond of his comment, because I too was hot. The air condition of the car was not working, and it was the season where the sun was ripest. Thus, it felt like we were baking in an oven. I gave Kyle a blank stare.

“It is hot,” I added

“You don’t seem enthusiastic about this,” Why he said that, baffles me.

“It’s the fat idiot Jerry for one thing. Then there is, Amy.” I snap back.

I look into the rear view mirror. My bright blue eyes cringe to my rebellious golden blonde hair. No matter what I do to adjust my hair’s state, straighten out it never will. I release one hand from the steering wheel, and begin to pick at my hair. What people will think about it slices my gut open, and spills my self-esteem all over.
         
         “You hair is fine,” Kyle says. His comment helps, but it is only one of many others. My non-obeying hair was not the only thing that worried me there is what I wear. I do not have the best out-look on style. Now I am wearing a yellow short-sleeved shirt, which says, ‘Banana Boat’. I have regular old faded blue jeans, and a pair of worn out runners. When I walk down a crowded mall, I swear every person is staring at my awful clothes; their smiles are of my crappy look.

There was five us who decided to take the time of our spring break during the second year of our college education to hike up in the mountains near by our school.  There is Kenneth whom we all looked up to as our leader, and then Amy the lover of Kenneth. Kenneth treats her as if he had traveled through the thick humid jungle of the Congo, retrieving a one of a kind jewel. Kyle was the one who I favored most in the group, mainly because he was sedate, unlike the others of the group. Jerry another person in our faction was porky and obnoxious. Why he has been hanging out with us I do not understand. Last, there was me, Gary, the one who contradicted any of Kenneth’s idiotic plans. Both Kenneth and I were like the politicians of the group; we individually fought to be the leader, but he would always come out with the most votes. I liked Kenneth but these days his leadership role has become bothersome.

“Point taken’.” Kyle rolled down the window; I am hoping that the cooler air can rob the space of the hot air. His long curly, blonde, hair gracefully fluttered with the rushing wind. He wore rimless glasses, which were tinted a dark grey, and were in the shape of a rectangle.

After some time driving, Kyle and I soon arrived at a red coloured gravel parking lot, filled with few cars. Kyle and I hopped out – With out the sun being amplified by the windows of my car, it did not seem as hot. I walked up behind my baby blue car, popped open my trunk, and then got out my heavy backpack. I was almost embarrassed to lug it around, since it was an awful grungy orange colour. In my gut, I assumed that they would not be prepared, so I packed supplies. I am one who is always afraid that something may happen, even in the oddest of places. Ending up stranded was a possibility. Attacked by a bear was another possibility to watch out. Therefore, I have taken the liberty of packing water, trail mix, a knife, blankets, and a first aid kit. I knew it was going to be a hot day, the news said so, thus, I packed extra water. 

“Yo guys over here,” Kenneth called out from across the parking lot. We walked over, and there they were standing, Kenneth in the middle of Amy and Jerry. Kenneth was tall, with a broad chin. He had cut his hair to the point where he was almost bald – you could barely notice that he had black hair. I thought that it was unwise for him to be wearing black jeans, and a dark-grey t-shirt.

Jerry was vulgar in my opinion. He looked as if he never showered and did not care to his appearance, with a baggy white shirt – stained by food items – and baggy shorts. Shaped unevenly his head was, like a rock, and it was a rock covered in thick brown moss.

Last, there was Amy, one person that any living being should avoid. The two things that Amy was best at were, complaining about everything – I swear that she could not be able to find a single good point of anything – and crying about anything. She would cry, or come near to crying to manipulate Kenneth. For the hiking trip, she tied her ginger brown hair into a ponytail. Amy’s hair was nearly the same colour as her skin, because she tans in hopes she will look better.  She stood staring at me, with her hips to one side, and her arms crossed, as if I was a flagrant error. I tossed a blank stare at the three waiting for me. They were ill prepared for the journey. Kenneth rolled his eyes when he saw me with my heavy pack at my back.

“What took you ass-holes so long,” Jerry picked at me. I am resisting giving him a finger; I am in no mood for a brawl between us. Just being around Jerry created flames of anger, which would loop around me; his second chin flapping when talking, the jelly bouncing when walking, and his stale dry sweat stench rising from his body, all created a desire to kill him – but of course I have good morals.

“Well there were some funny sounds coming from the car on the way over here. Just in case it was the breaks, breaking, I wanted to get the car checked out. You know, I would not want to be able to stop; I could end up having to crash and die. Thankfully it wasn’t,” I gave them an answer to why we were late.

“You always have an excuse. Why can you just, like, not be late?” Amy asked me, a dumb question.

“Let’s just go,” Kenneth shakes his head with disbelief.



We are hiking down a twisted dirt path, to our right side are a lavish forest comprised of all shades of green, and to our left are the grey-blue shale rock. Naturally built the layered rock is into warped patterns, all diverse yet all-marvelous. Kenneth stopped at an opening in the side of the mountain; we all stopped when he stood still. My eyes became aware of the sign beside the entrance: Warning! Do no enter the mineshaft it is not stable. Kenneth was a bold one, and he wanted to journey inside, his face alleged it. I do not want to go exploring an old mine shaft, I am not prepared for that. I could not handle anything-wrong happening.

“We have to go in,” Kenneth blurts out. I planned to give him a glare, but the stinging rays of the sun prevented me; rather I just spoke “Dude look at the sign. It says not to go in. We could end up getting hurt or something, who knows, it’s an abandoned mine.” My hands moved with my words.

“Well then don’t come,” Kenneth retorts, “How about you guys, eh?” Of course, they accepted the idea proposed, and I did as well. When thinking about it, where would I go if I chose not to accompany them? In addition, if I did not go, to them it would be as if I was hinting that I did not like them. Then again, most I did not like, however, I needed some kind of social relationships. I do not want to be alone my whole life.

“Stop being such a chicken all the time, Gary, it’s so annoying,” Amy growls at me. She would side with Kenneth all the time, even if he would say or do something irrational. Kenneth and I at one point were best friends, but ever since he had met up with Amy, she has slowly loosened our tight-knotted friendship. It used to be just me him and Kyle during our high-school years. However, when we went to college we met Jerry and soon thereafter, we met, well Kenneth met, Amy. Kenneth came up with the idea of hiking in the mountains. I believe that Amy hinted him to go for some alone time, but he, unthankfully, dragged us along with him. I am sure she was not pleased with this.

“Damn. I’m comin’ as well,” I say with little passion. Kenneth smiled; he had complete control of me. 

“Great.” Kenneth walks in, promptly, and we trailed behind him. Once again, I look at the sign warning not to enter.

Behind us the light was, and in front the darkness.  The light was where I wanted to be. I felt un-safe here, anything could happen. I was amazed at the simple structure that held the mine together. To my sides were thick wooden columns spread out by one and another, only by a few meters, which supported a wooden roof. It did not seem sturdy at all; in truth, I felt a bit edgy being in here. The little light was not revealing to us the uneven jagged ground; we had to watch our steps. My other senses heightened after we entered near complete darkness. The bellowing from within this beast of a cave spooked me a bit and the suspended coal dust had bitten the inside of my nose. I am behind Kenneth, Amy is beside Kenneth, and behind me is Jerry who has Kyle following him.

The echo of some one crashing to the ground grabs my attention, sparks my paranoia, and fashions fear within me. I turn to the direction of the sound, but of course cannot see much. Strapped to the side of my pack was a flashlight, I whip it out, turning it on to uncover what event just taken place. Kyle is lying face down on the ground and Jerry is holding on to one of the wooden supports. Jerry is hanging onto the support beam at my right; it cannot embrace his heavy weight. After a second both Jerry and the beam came crashing down to the jagged ground, followed by a yelp from Jerry. I only have limited view with the flashlight so faced it to the roof. That one beam held the whole top together.

“Some one help Kyle up!” I yell out. Kenneth leaps forward and picks Kyle up; Jeremy rolls over and gets his own self up. The wooden roof creaked and groaned; from my chest, my heart jumps into my throat. We all back up; while the entire roof tumbles down accompanied with the thick rocks it held up. Seen nothing can be with out the light, but the sounds say everything as it is taking place. The jaws of the cave have shut violently, trapping us in its mouth.

“Kenneth, what the hell is happening?” Amy cries out behind me.

“Crap,” Kyle murmurs to himself. I point my flashlight to him and the beads of sweat clinging to Kyle’s pale face glistened to the light pointing at him; I saw him grasping his leg. His glasses were missing, and for the first time in a long while, you could see his hazel eyes. They were amazing eyes.

“What the hell happened?” I request to know.

“I think I sprained my ankle. I tripped on a rock or something. Shit, I’ve lost my glasses as well,” Kyle explains. Kenneth helps Kyle get up onto his feet; I then support Kyle on his two feet.

“Damn, damn,” I shriek when pointing my flashlight at the barrier of rocks; the light reflects off the smooth surface of the rocks and annoys my eyes. There was no other light then my flashlight.

“Oh crap,” Kenneth whispers in despair. Amy begins to shed tears. I close my eyes; panic begins to arise in my mind. I have to focus I cannot lose hope. There has to be something we can do. I am scared and cannot keep my thoughts together. It is as if the blood in my veins is boiling.

“Damn. Ok thankfully I have a flashlight,” I say. The once suspenseful and adventurous atmosphere that came with us into the cave, morphed into a dark and ominous feeling. I am trying to keep everyone else calm, but above all keep my own self-calm.

“Ok. Let’s look around, together, and see if we can find a way out or at least a hole where we could yell out for help,” Kenneth tries to create a plan. I cannot see a plausible way to escape out the side of a mountain. What else can we do though; it is obvious that we are unable to move the heavy rocks at the entrance. Kyle nods at me to lead, since I have the flashlight – I am not going to give it up. I chain heavy weights to my fear so it cannot catch up with me, but it still was fast.
         


         Surrounded by darkness and only a single stream of light illuminates a path, we walked on. It feels as if we are trekking through a humid jungle, somewhere in South America. My left shoulder had become tired from Kyle using it as a support. I turn my flashlight off, and the darkness swallows the empty area where the light used to be.

         “What the hell?” Kyle asks with confusion to the sudden absence of light. I can no longer hear the shuffling of rocks and dirt.

         “I think we should stay here,” I suggest quietly.

         “What! Why?” Jerry asks with his booming voice.

         “Yeah why?” Both Amy and Kenneth ask. It was odd not being able to see their faces.

         “If we go in to far, then no one can find us.” I explain. I sit down, and Kyle follows suit. I turn the light back on; the other three standing, were towering over me. They soon sit as well. I placed the light to the side of me opposite of where Kyle is. I remove my pack, and place it in front of me, between my legs.

         “There is some way out of here, we need to keep looking!” Jerry argues to my idea.

         “I agree,” says Amy. It was obvious that they were not willing to let go of their hope, their hollow hope. With the little light I have, I manage to pull out a bottle of spring water and a zip lock bag of trail mix; I have more bags of it tucked away.

         “We’re in a mine-shaft that is at the side of a mountain,” I raise my voice higher then it normally is, “besides I packed plenty of water and nut mix.”

         “Gary, Amy’s allergic to nuts,” Kyle points out.

         “Oh,” I reply over Amy’s sniffling.

         “Do you ever listen to a thing I say, Gary?” I was sure that Kenneth’s question was rhetorical, so figure I am not obliged to answer. Both my fear and paranoia catch up to me. Together they grab me and begin to chew at me, slowly. My breathing is deepening and I am starting to panic. I am pissing off people while being stuck in an isolated mine. What if they murder me, or beat me and leave me for dead? No one would know if they killed me. It would be easy to get away with it. I close my eyes, and easily imagine them strangling me. Worse, the image of them all slamming my head into the sharp rocks, cracking my skull open, with blood and brain mix spilling across the lose earth covered ground. Every muscle in my body clenches tightly, and then suddenly loosens.  Now I start to shiver.

         “Man, are you ok?” Kenneth asks, while shuffling towards me.

         “Don’t hurt me,” My voice was weak coming out.

         “I won’t man, don’t worry. We will rest here a bit. It’ll be good for us all.” Kenneth’s words are not easing my tense feelings. I fear for my life. 



I turn the flashlight back on. To the sudden burst of light, my eyelids stayed half shut. I look at my watch; been two days that we have been in this cave. I am patiently waiting for a forsaken cave fiend, to skin or eat us alive. There is enough food to last us a few more days, as long as we keep a steady eating habit. I ask myself though, what is the point? It will just delay our death. Why do we not just kill our selves and get it over with, instead of staving to death. I do not want to die.

“Warn us next time you turn that thing on, it’s hurting my eyes,” Amy whines. 

         “How is your leg?” I ask in Kyle’s direction. Kyle was sitting up right, with one leg not touching the ground, and the sprained leg resting on the ground. Maybe tending to Kyle will stray my mind from how our death will be.

         “It still hurts,” Kyle answers. Shining the light in his face, I can still see the many droplets of sweat cling to his face, fearing for their lives. His eyes close half way to the sudden burst of light. Kyle’s eyebrows are low, and his usual beautiful smile is upside down. It saddens me to see a usually cheerful person, be so hopeless.

         I have sunken deeper in the ocean of paranoia and fear. The others, especially Kenneth, believe that there is some way out. They just do not want to face the fact that we will probably die. Just, how will we die?

         “Let me see it,” I ask, while moving the stream of light onto his ankle. He rolls up his blue jean pants, and then rolled down his white sock. The skin of his ankle was bright red, and it looked swollen. I think that a sprain would not be like this, it must be a break. I wrapped my hands around his ankle to feel how his leg was. It was warm, and smooth like a newborn babies skin is

         “What are you a doctor now?” Jerry interrupts my thinking.

         “No. I just want to see how his leg is,” I answer with a deep voice.

         “You think you know everything, don’t you,” Jerry remarks. Of course, I do not think I know everything, just more then they do.

         “Screw you. I’m just trying to help,” I say. Kenneth stands up, and enlarges his upper chest with his breath.

         “Both you shut up! We need to co-operate,” Kenneth roars. I expect Jerry to step down, but that does not happen.

         “Kenneth, you’re not the boss. Let them kill each other, I do not give a damn. I never wanted them here anyways; you brought them along. Like, Kenneth, I wanted this to be a nice trip together, some alone time. All we do is hang out with these idiots,” Amy tosses her piece of coal into the ever-growing fire. Kenneth looks surprised. Disfigured Amy’s face has become with disgust. Her usual soft face crinkled into something like a demon.

         “Well you know you could’ve said something. What am I, a mind reader?”

         “Screw you, Kenneth,” Amy ends the conversation. She turns away from him. It looks as if Kenneth wants to cry.
         
         I touch my face; it is something I cannot clearly picture any more, almost as if I am looking at my self through a window on a cold rainy day. Moving was something that I did not want to do at this point. It has been a long week, or two – without food, and a miniscule amount of water. We have been sleeping most of the time. Kyle is at the left of me, and it seems that he has not been getting better. We would talk about the greatest things we have enjoyed in our lives. We also conversed about what we do if we escaped out of the mine. However, we stopped talking about it, because it was something that made us all miserable. It was not easy to face the truth, that we were going to die and that there was nothing we could do about it. I think that they all realize now that death is awaiting us; it is an unfortunate reality. The ship I was sailing to my dreams has sunk, when it has just started its journey.

         “I don’t want to die,” Amy speaks softly.

         “I know,” Kenneth replies. It sounds like they are moving closer together. They had gotten over their argument that happened a few days back. I wish I had someone to hold.

         “What if,” Amy sounds like it was something she was putting great thought in to. I could not put my finger on it, however. We have not been using the flashlight much, just incase it would be needed we wanted to save the power. I turn the flashlight back on. It feels like the light is piercing into my eyes.

         “You look sacred, Amy,” Kenneth points out. Amy takes a deep breath.

         “What if we eat someone?” Amy suggests quickly, she wanted the words out fast. She set off a spark of hope. Maybe it could grow into a fire of hope.

         “What hell is your problem?” Jerry states, his tone was still loud, but not his voice. I almost have to agree with him.

         “Listen, some one has to have noticed that we’re gone. I think they will find us! I want to live another damn day! I do not want to die like this! I want to live a life with money, and happiness. I do not want to starve to death. I want to live!” Amy sobs. After her last sentence, she hid her face behind her hands.

         “I think she’s right. We can live through this,” Kenneth says, “I have a pocket knife.”

         “Damn, maybe we can make it through this,” Jerry agrees with Kenneth and Amy. Amy looks to my left, where Kyle was still sleeping. Half of my self does not want to resort to cannibalism to live, but the other half does. I want to live. Saved maybe we will be and we need to hold out longer.

         “It’s murder though,” My better half convinces me to say.

         “Do you want to die, Gary?” Kenneth asks. He often asked me rhetorical questions. I look back down at Kyle. He was still asleep.

         “Kyle. He is the weakest with the broken leg and all,” Amy says. Kenneth, Jerry, and Amy slid their bodies across the ground with their arms. The belly of this cave has corroded our souls down to nothing but the primitive nature. I cannot move. Caught I am in a war with my own self. Living is something that I want to do, and I may need to sacrifice the weakest for it. It is murder though. He has done nothing, has had no say. If I back out, what will happen to me? Will they devour my flesh instead? A tear slides down my face, then hangs on the tip of my chin. It did not want to fall. Like me, it did not want to die. Their eyes are fixated on him. Kenneth, Amy, and Jerry look like vultures closing in on a wounded animal. I look down at Kyle. My stomach pounds away.  I turn out my flashlight.