Dialogue

Dialogue

“Good afternoon sir.”

That was the signal of a start to a bad day. The only thing he wanted to do then was leave the goddamn Walgreens, get into his worn down beetle and punch something. However he thought God was going to punish him by pairing him up with the worst checkout lady on the face of this planet.

“Yeah, you, too,” He grunted and pulled out his wallet.

“Paper or plastic?” she gawked, gnawing her way through a pink wad of gum like a horse through feed. Each loud smack brought a cringe to him.

“I really don’t care.”

“Well sir, you’re gonna have to pick. Paper or plastic?”

“With all due respect, I do not care.”

‘Sir it is a simple choice. Do you want paper, or do you want plastic?”

Ugh, that annoying nasally voice! Come on you stupid bitch, get on with it so I can go home! “Fine plastic, just give me plastic.”

“Now ya see? If ya just cooperate, I’ll get done sooner.” She reached into the nearby blue plastic mini-cart and pulled out the first item. She positioned the box and ran it through the scanner. No response. She did it again. Again no response. She tried one final time, but no response.

“Sir you have a defective box of…” her eyes squinted through horn-rimmed glasses, “Trojan Magnum XL Condoms.”

His face turned a bright shade of ruby red, some anger, and the rest embarrassment. She said it so loud that people coming into the store gave him awkward looks and sideways glances. The men showed envy and anger while the women gave flirtatious looks and twinkling eyelashes. He laid his elbow beside the register and held his head in his palm. How can this get any worse?

He heard a click and then the cashier’s nasally voice. However this time, the voice was amplified a hundred-fold. It was the intercom. That bitch is going to address it to the whole fucking store! No way. Thinking quickly, he snatched the box from the cashier’s wrinkled pink hand while covering the intercom microphone.

“Look, lady, please don’t say it, okay? I’ll pay for it! I’ll pay more for it! He went into his pocket and dragged out a crumple of lint-caked bills. He slammed the money onto the counter, ripped opened the box, and shoved its golden-wrapped contents into his pocket. “Look, there’s gotta be fifteen bucks here. Just take it so I can leave!

With that, he sprinted out of the store and to his car. The cashier stood puzzled and with a shrug, opened the cash register. “What a freak.”