They Can't?!?

As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly. I could’ve sworn on it. My grandpa had a farm, and I just assumed that his turkeys were all quite capable beings. After all they have wings, don’t they?

After bringing up that point, my sister, Deborah, called me an idiot (for at least the sixth time that conversation) and emphatically mentioned that yes, turkeys do have wings, but so do ostriches and emus and did I think that they flew?

I told her not to be ridiculous- that ostriches and emus didn’t fly. How could they? The ones at the petting zoo are so huge they could eat me for lunch. They just sort of hover.

Deborah called me an idiot, again, and I asked her can’t you come up with a new insult? She asked me if I couldn’t come up with a few new IQ points. She’s always been a quick wit. She gets it from my Grandpa Turnwold, the one with the farm.

I said that maybe if turkeys were as smart as she was, they could fly, and she rolled her eyes and sighed that over-the-top, ridiculously melodramatic sigh that she learned before she could talk.

I don’t mind Deb calling me an idiot. She’s only eleven. And I didn’t really think that ostriches could fly- any kid who passed the eighth grade could tell you that.

But I could’ve sworn that turkeys could fly.