If only you knew...

If only you knew the pain I have lived with..

        If you only cared enough to ask,

  I have left so many hints, so many angry and depressed notes,

And yet you ignore EVERY one.
 

              To make maters worse you ignore me completely,

        Hiding incase I shared.


                                              When I needed you most you fled,

            leaving me to face myself alone.

I couldn't have done more to make you see.

                                              And in the end I had to find help elsewhere.

                              how can you pretend that you are my friend
       
            and then leave me high and dry ?



                                          When it was all over I came to you.

                  I was stupid enough to share.

                                              And instead of being a supportive friend

YOU got mad for the way I was feeling.

                                      YOU thought I was acting after all the things we've shared

          It hurts me because you know that if the shoe had been on the other foot.

                              I would have been there.

it hurts because now I know what you're really like.


                                It hurts because I trusted you.

            because you became my light.

                                                    you were meant to be there for me

        to tell me it was ok.

                                but instead you became the darkest of my sorrows

                      You sent me to a place within myself

where no amount of caring could bring me back.

            and the very worst of it all is that I'm still here today.

    switching back and forth from happy to sad always and every day


                          It wasn't only you that reduced me to what I am.

            But If you had been there. to show you cared there might have been a hope.


                                              As it stands.

                                          there is only one path that I can follow.

        And one day I will get there.

                                                  And my escape will be your sorrow.


I hope that through it all you found something worth your while

              Because now you've lost my friendship
         
                                          And I am losing my life.