What can happen when we are so wrapped up in our self we forget who share our life with. |
A New Beginning By Linda Fernandez Gabriel was looking at him, tears spilling from her eyes, looking at her right now Simon could see her heart breaking he swore that he could almost hear it and Simon knew that this was his fault. “I have been waiting for you for two years Simon. Two years, and you still don’t see me. We have lived together, worked together, and I thought you loved me. I have sacrificed so much of myself for you and you can’t see it, and if you do see it, you don’t give a damn. You feel that you have given up so much, bullshit. What you gave up is the lack of responsibility you had before we got together. You didn’t have to do anything. You are your mother’s golden child. You were thirty-five years old, never been married and still living at home. Did you ever plan on growing up?” Simon just stood there; he never realized the pain that she had been feeling. He knew that she had tried to talk with him, make him listen to her but he just didn’t listen. Looking back at things now, he just didn’t listen and now here she was, the woman that he loved and who had loved him and treated better than anyone whom he had ever known, was about to walk out on him, on them and he didn’t know what it would take to make it right with her. He never wanted to hurt her, but now it seemed he had done more to her than hurt her. “Good-bye Simon” she said. She kissed him one last time, he could taste the saltiness of her tears on his lips, and then she turned, picked up the bag that she had packed earlier that day and walked out of the front door. It was a late December night, and it was raining and cold outside, but there was a cab waiting for her. He ran out behind her crying, pleading “Gabriel, please don’t leave.” She never looked back. All Simon Michaels saw was the fading rear lights of the cab as it drove away. When Gabriel Hollis slid in to the back seat of the cab, the only instructions she gave the driver at the moment was to drive. He looked in the rearview mirror and saw that the woman was crying, he didn’t say anything, just drove on. They had been driving for about fifteen minutes when he finally asked “Is there anyplace you want to go Miss?” Gabriel looked up and said “take me to the Marriot.” “Yes Mam.” The driver replied and headed to the hotel. The cab drove up to the front door and the drive got out of the car and opened the door for Gabriel. She took her bag and went in; the elegant lobby of the hotel was done all in cherry mahogany, with very lovely antiques on handcrafted tables and large pictures on the walls. There was an old feeling to the place, like it had been around for a hundred years, though it had only opened ten years ago. She walked up to the counter and was met by a young woman in her twenties who was dressed in a navy colored two piece suit and her hair pinned up in a tight bun on the top of her head that gave her a very matronly appearance. The name tag on the jacket read Mina “Good evening Miss, can I help you?” she asked as Gabriel walked up. “Yes, do you have any suites vacant” Gabriel asked? The woman clicked the keys of her computer that allowed her to see the current vacancies in the hotel. “Looks like you’re in luck.” she smiled. “It seems we had a cancellation this afternoon and the “Vista” suite is open.” She took out a short form and asked for Gabriel’s driver’s license. She went and made a copy while Gabriel filled out the form. “That will be two hundred and fifty-three dollars and forty-four cents.” She told Gabriel who handed her a visa card. “How long are you planning on staying” Mina asked. “I’m not quite sure yet, at least three days though.” Gabriel replied. Mina nodded and took the card, a moment later she returned handing Gabriel back the card back with the signature slip for her to sign. Mina gave her the card key and said “The Visa suite is on the tenth floor at the end of the hall. Would you like me to have someone help you with your bag Ms. Hollis?” “No, thank you Mina, I have it.” Gabriel took the key card that Mina had laid on the desk and went to the elevator. When Gabriel entered the suite she was very pleased with the accommodations. She walked and laid the key on the glass and marble table by the door. As she entered the front room she noticed that the furniture in the very large sitting room accented the champagne colored plush carpet. There was a cream colored overstuffed couch and a matching chair. The large sliding glass door led to a balcony with a magnificent view of the city below. To her right she saw the bar which she went to as soon as she set down her bag and purse. She opened the mini-fridge and saw that in was fully stocked. She found a rocks glass and a bottle of Absolute Vodka and poured herself a very strong drink. She went to the couch and sat down. She was exhausted and all of her energy had been drained, physically and emotionally. She slipped off her heels and put her feet up on the couch. She pulled her long red hair loose from the pony tail that she had been wearing it in, which relieved some of the pressure of the headache that she had been feeling. She sat there on the couch not thinking about what happened tonight or what she was going to do tomorrow. She just sat there and drank the vodka. She didn’t want to pas out from the shear exhaustion that was beginning to settle over so after she finished her drink she got up and walked in to the bedroom There was a large king size bed which was facing her, on her left she saw there was an entertainment center made of dark wood which held a forty-two inch flat panel plasma television. The clock on the VCR read three a.m. There was a beautiful armoire next to the large window for her to hang her clothes in and next to the bed was a small end table that had an alarm clock on it and a cordless digital telephone. To the right there was an archway which led to a very large and very luxurious bathroom. There was a large whirlpool garden tub and a few steps away was a glass enclosed shower that had a one of those wonderful rainstorm shower heads which she has been wanting Simon to put in to the shower in their bathroom, and there were also massaging jets placed in strategic points on the wall for a perfect shower massage experience. Gabriel saw this and turned on the hot water at once. She needed this in a bad way. On the wall near the shower hung two large white towels and on a hook next to the towels hung a thick white bath robe with the hotel logo on it in black lettering. She took off the jeans and black sweater that she had been wearing and tossed them on the floor, she opened the door to the shower and stepped in. The hot water poured over her and the jets massaged her body. It felt really good. She stood there for a few moments and then finally allowed herself to come undone. She cried for what seemed to be hours. She tried to purge herself of all the hurt and loneliness that she was feeling at that moment and then all the hurt and loneliness from the last two years came pouring out of her. It was as if the damn had finally broken. In a house on the other side of town Simon Michaels was sitting on the sofa. He couldn’t believe that she had left him. Actually he thought he could believe that she left him, looking back over the last two years the question really was, what took her so long to leave him? The answer to that was painfully clear to him, she loved him. She loved him and now she was gone. Simon never cheated on her; he wasn’t one of those men who went out every night with his friends. He would go to work every day and come home. No, Simon was seeing very clearly now that what he had done to her was even worse, he would be home and not be with her at all. Even though she worked a full time job, most nights she would be home when he arrived, she’s have dinner waiting for him, the house would be picked up and she would sincerely be interested in him and how his day was and how he was; and he had taken it all for granted. For some reason, he believed that she would always be there for him. He never once told her that she was beautiful, even pretty for that matter. He always thought that she knew how he felt. He never bought her flowers, though she had told him over and over how much she would have liked it. He had never danced with her, though she had asked him for just one dance. He never told her anything that mattered really. She never really asked for much from him, just to be acknowledged really. No, Simon was seeing now that she was right. He couldn’t imagine how lonely she was even when he was right there in the house with her. He paid more attention to their two dogs than he did her. He finally saw what a selfish son of a bitch he really was; now it was too late. Simon sat on the couch in their three bedroom house, their two dogs on the floor next to him and there in the dim light of the lamp, Simon Michaels cried. It was eleven o’clock in the morning when Gabriel woke up. For a moment when she woke she was confused by her surroundings and then the events of the night all came flooding back to her. The pain and the loss felt like someone had just put a Mack truck on her chest and she couldn’t breathe. She looked around her at the lovely suite and found herself wishing that Simon was here with her right now. She wanted him to come through the door and take her in his strong arms and kiss her and tell her he loved her and that he was sorry and that things would be better if she would just come home to him. Give him one chance to prove he could be the man that she wanted from him. He was the love of her life, he didn’t get it. She always blamed his behavior on the fact that he didn’t have a good male figure in his life when he was a child, to teach him how to treat a woman. She always made excuses for his behavior, but the truth is that there was no excuse. He was a grown man and if he wanted to, he could have treated her the way that she needed to be treated. The way that she deserved to be treated, but he chose not to do that. She realized that as she was thinking of all of this she had once more started to cry. She had to make herself get up. As much as she was hurting, she could not afford to let herself fall in to a situational depression. Her time working in the mental health field had showed her what could happen to a person if the allow themselves to be swallowed up by the black cloud of loss and depression. Gabriel knew that she had worked to hard and had come to damn far to allow this to drown her. She made herself get up and take another shower. She called room service and had them bring up a light breakfast of coffee and juice, fruit and yogurt. As she waited for breakfast she got dressed and put on some make-up. Once she was dressed she examined herself in the full length mirror that hung on the door. She had her long red hair pulled back in a pony tail which reached the middle of her back and clipped it with a lovely silver hair clip. Her make up was light and natural with only a touch of eye liner to bring out the emerald in her green eyes and a light color gloss on her full lips. She wore a choker which she had made of green obsidian and from it hung a silver ohm sign which laid perfectly in the soft indention of her neck where her collar bones separated. She wore a crème colored V-neck sweater which hugged her full breast and her favorite pair of Levi’s which were perfectly worn and very comfortable. She was just sliding on her black three inch heels when the door bell rang. “Room Service” the voice on the other side of the door had said when she asked who it was. She opened the door and a handsome young man in a blue and white uniform rolled in the breakfast tray. “Just set it there in the living room” Gabriel told him. He did as he was instructed and on his way out she gave the young man a five dollar bill. “Thank you Miss” he said as he shut the door behind him. Gabriel sat on the couch and picked up the remote to the television which was on a lovely wooden table facing her and turned it on looking for something to watch while she ate. She just wanted something to help take her mind off of everything. She realized that it was Saturday and she didn’t have any place that she had to be this morning. She was so used to having errands to run or appointments to be at, today when she really needed to have something to do to occupy her mind, she had nothing. “Figures” she said out loud. Though in a way she was glad that she didn’t have anything to do because she knew that she wouldn’t have had the focus that she would have probably needed to complete whatever tasks needed to be done. So here she was, all dressed up and no place to go, in a fancy suite with no one to share it with because she had left her man of two years last night. She didn’t want to call anyone she knew because she knew that it would turn in to the poor me pity party and she didn’t want to burden anyone with that. So she wondered what she was going to do. Good god she thought, she didn’t even have her car. Now this could be problematic. She decided to go down to the lobby and see if there was a hotel car that would take her to go pick up her car. She grabbed her purse and made sure had her keys and cell phone in it. She looked at her phone and saw there had been no calls. He hadn’t called, she thought that he might call just to see that she was ok, but he hadn’t, proving once again that he didn’t care at all. She walked out the door and went down to the lobby to find the concierge. There was a beautiful hand carved cherry mahogany wood desk across from the area where she checked in and the sign on the desk said “Miles Preston-Concierge” she walked up to him and the man smiled a warm welcoming smile “Good day Miss, may I be of some assistance to you this morning?” Gabriel smiled back, “yes, could you tell me if there is a hotel car that could take me to my flat so that I may pick up my car?” “Absolutely Miss” he said implying that he wanted her name. “Gabriel, Gabriel Hollis” she said. “Absolutely Miss Hollis, if you wait in the foyer, I will see that James, our driver take you to pick up your car or any other place that you may need.” “Thank you Mr. Preston” Gabriel said “I very much appreciate your help.” “Of course Miss Hollis, that’s what I’m here for.” He nodded politely and Gabriel smiled and walked to the area in the lobby where Mr. Preston told her that James would pick her up. She sat down to wait in a comfortable sofa seat and had just picked up a magazine when a tall man wearing a black suit and a black chauffeur’s cap approached her. “Ms. Hollis?” he asked politely. Gabriel looked up at the man, “Yes I’m Ms. Hollis” she said. “Are you ready to leave?” “Yes, thank you.” She said. James held out is hand to help her up and they walked outside to the drive-up. There was a large black limousine with black tinted windows parked at the door. James opened the door for her and she slid in to the seat. She was actually having fun with this before he asked her “where shall I take you mam?” Gabriel thought a moment. Wouldn’t it be fun just to take a ride around the city before having to go to the house and possibly having to face Simon once more? “James? Is there a possibility that we can take a quick drive around Riverside Park? I mean I would hate to waste a ride in a limo just to go across town to my house.” He smiled at her in the mirror. “Of course we can Ms. Hollis. I don’t have any appointment’s today and it looks like it promises to be a nice day.” With that, Gabriel sat back in the seat, pushed the button on the panel beside her that would open the sun roof and let the sunshine flood in to the car. She smiled to herself thinking how funny it was that it took something like breaking up with Simon to get her a ride in a limo. After the ride around the river she decided it was time that she should go and face whatever there was left to face at her house. She gave James the address and twenty minutes later they were pulling up to her front drive. James got out of the car and went around so he may open the door for Gabriel. She thanked James for the lovely ride and gave him twenty dollars. He thanked her and she watched the long car drive away. Simon had fallen asleep on the couch and had awoken to the reality that everything that had happened that night was not the nightmare that he had prayed it would be. He wanted to wake up in their bed with Gabriel lying next to him, but she wasn’t. He wasn’t even in the bed at all, but on the couch with a very painful knot in his neck. He went upstairs and thought he should call her. He wondered if she would take his call. “Probably not” he said aloud to himself. It was Saturday and he was trying to figure out what he could do to fix things between them when he heard a car door close. He went to the window and looked out to see the black limo driving away and Gabriel standing on the driveway looking toward the house. She looked beautiful he thought. He would tell her so if he could just talk to her. Was she going to come in? It didn’t look like it. He figured that she was here to pick up her car. For a split second he wondered where the limo had come from, but soon forgot about it. Should he go outside? Would she come in and talk if he asked her? The questions were racing through his mind when he saw her turn to walk to her car. He decided that he was going to go out there and ask her to come in, the worst that she could say is no, right? He was still wearing the jeans and green pull- over shirt that he had worn last night. He wasn’t wearing any shoes but he didn’t care. He knew that it was now or never. He ran out the door and said “Gabriel, Gabriel, please wait a minute”. She looked at him surprised by his presence. She really wasn’t expecting him to be home. She figured that he may have gone to his cousins to go hunting. Since it was still deer season and he had only gotten two deer. How she hated his hunting. The killing of innocent animals was still just barbaric to her. “What do you want Simon?” she asked him. “Can’t we please go inside to talk? Please Gabriel, I’m begging you here.” She looked at him for a moment; she thought that he looked like shit right now. His eyes were red, his hair uncombed, he was wearing the same clothes from last night and he was barefoot. Good, I hope he feels as bad as he looks right now she thought to herself. “What is there left to talk about Simon? I’ve talked for two fucking years. I’ve tried and tried to get you to listen to me. I’ve tried and tried to make you see that I was here for you and loving you and I just got tired of trying Simon. I got tired of trying and of waiting.” Tears began to well up in her eyes again. She didn’t want to let him see her cry again. Simon had walked down the steps and was now standing in front of her “Baby, I know. I’m so sorry. After you left last night it all became so clear to me. Jesus Gabby, I love you. I love you so much. I’m just not me without you .” He held out his hand to her, “please come inside for a little while, we can just talk, so you can just talk and I promise baby, I will listen to you.” She looked at him; he had tears streaming down his cheeks. She couldn't remember ever seeing him cry. She was always the one who ended up shedding the tears, but she loved him so much. Now here he was pleading for her just like the many times before when she stood there begging him to talk to her and to just hear her, just once. Could he really change she wondered, or would it be one of those quick fixes people do to achieve what they want when they are faced with losing something. She looked at him for a moment, his eyes were dark, and she could feel that the pain he was allowing himself to show her was real. That was a first she knew. She hesitated only a moment before taking his hand and letting him lead her in to their house. “You look really beautiful Gabby” he told her and with that fresh tears came to her eyes. He had never told her anything like that and she believed it when he told her. He led her to the couch and they sat down and he grabbed her and pulled her close and just held her and said “I’m so sorry baby. Can you ever forgive me? I swear I never realized what I was doing to you. I swear I never dreamed of hurting you. Gabby I love you so much. Please don’t leave me. I promise you right here and now I can change. I will change. I’ve been so selfish and self absorbed in my own life that I forgot about our life together, I forgot about you. Oh baby, please forgive me.” He had never held her so tight she thought. She could feel every bit of his emotion pouring out of him as if he was fighting for his life at that moment. She loved this man. He was her soul-mate and the love of her life. She knew that she couldn’t just walk away from him with out first giving him a chance to prove to her that he could change. Gabriel pushed him back so she could see him. Yeah, he really looked like shit right now and smiled at him. “Simon, I love you. I have always loved you, from the moment I saw you I knew that you were the one. But I can not live like that anymore. I will not fight for your attention or fight for you to listen to me. I’m so tired of living like that Simon. I would rather be without you, that to be here with you and not have you. That is like placing something you want just out of reach where you can’t get to it. All you can do is see it and try and try to get to reach it and almost touching it but always falling just a little bit short of it. Simon you don’t know what that’s like.” She started to cry as she told him all that she was feeling. He reached out and wiped the tears from her cheeks and pulled her in to his arms and kissed her, he kissed her in a way that she had never been kissed. There was so much passion and desire and most of all the love that was coming from him and pouring in to her. She felt as if she was being swept away. “Baby, please don’t give up on me, on us. I promise you it will be different if you just trust me this one time. Gabby, please just try to trust me one more time. I won’t let you down.” He kissed her again, a kiss so deep and passionate, never before had his kiss felt this way, it was like being kissed for the first time all over again. He reached up and took the little silver clip from her hair and the mane of red came down over her shoulders he kissed her neck and down and his hands were finding her again, exploring her body as if it was an undiscovered treasure. He slipped the sweater over her head and then with one hand he unfastened her bra. He looked at her full firm breast and leaned down and kissed them, he laid her back on the couch, her eyes were closed now as she was immersed in all of the unbelievable sensations that she was experiencing at this very moment. Simon unbuttoned her jeans and slid them over her hips, the lace panties that she wore looked so sexy but he wanted her naked. He wanted to see all of her and feel every inch of her skin. He passed his hands over her hips as he kissed her stomach and worked his way down between her legs. She was hot and wet and welcoming. His finger rubbed her gently and she moaned with a pleasure that he hadn’t heard in a very, very long time. She arched her back as she felt his tongue pass over her clit. She wanted him so bad. She needed to feel him deep inside her. She wanted them to be as one, but he continued to pleasure her with his tongue and then she felt his finger enter her as he continued to lick her. Electricity shot through her as he brought her to a soul shaking orgasm. She lay there, unable to move or say anything. She wondered if this is what it felt like to have an out of body experience. She felt as if she were floating. Then as she opened her eyes she saw Simon standing taking off his clothes and then he was naked. His body was so beautiful. To look at him one might think that he worked out all the time. She could see the lines of chest muscles and leg muscles. He was breathing so hard and he knew that he had to have her now. He needed to feel her around him, so hot, wet and tight. He was about to lay down with her when she tried to turn over on her belly. “What are you doing?” he asked. “I thought you would want me this way.” She said in a puzzled voice. “No Gabby, I want to see you when I make love to you. I want to look in to your eyes and connect with you. I want to see your pleasure as I bring you to orgasm again and again and again.” His voice was deep and sensual, he had never, ever talked like this to her, but she liked it and then he entered her and made love to her over and over until finally he had climaxed deep inside of her finally collapsing on top of her, unable to move. His body was heavy on top of her, it felt so good to be with him like this, completely open to one another. She could hear him breathing and felt him turn his head to kiss her neck. “I love you Gabriel, I love you with all that I am.” She looked in to his eyes and could see that he meant it. They lay together on the couch for a little while longer and then Gabriel had a wonderful idea. They got up shower and dressed. She told him to pack a few things because they were going to take a couple days away from the house. Their neighbor, Mrs. Jones, would take the dogs and feed them for a few days while they were away. When they had gotten everything ready, they got in to her car and headed back to the Marriot where Gabriel had the suite for two more days. Gabriel new that this is what they had needed was a new beginning and they were finally able to have it. The End or is it? |