Jorj Ch 4-6

First let me explain something. I'm trying to send these little 20 pages to agents in the hopes of maybe in a year or two a agent will be interested in my work. This is the story that I'm sending out. Please critique as harshly as you would like or even harsher so that I can learn. If you don't understand anything please ask.
corp 2006 Rayne


Ch4.
Jorj fell back onto the bed. Soleil’s hair had fallen from her bun and she was sweating. She slowly let go of Samul’s shoulders. “Soleil, I want you to guard Alyx. You are now his mother alternate. He is to be taken care of.”

Jorj tossed Soleil a bag inside was 20 riz, 40 kut, and 1,000 purx. “This should take care of you and Alyx. Go out the back and keep running. Don’t stop. Do you have kin nearby?”

“Aye, two sister kin. We don’t talk usually.” Soleil replied slowly. She looked at Alyx and nodded. She had always been kind to him and now with everything that just happened to the village she wanted to be his mother alternate. She wanted to have someone to protect and to help her.

“Good then you can claim Alyx with no questions. Here, both take this as well.” Jorj reached onto her shelf and gave them the other jewel-encrusted dagger. She found their two sheaths and handed them to Soleil. “Take these.”

Soleil put the daggers in the bag and clutched it to her bosom. She went to the back window and opened the shutters a bit. Looking out she nodded. “Harsk!”

Alyx ran up to Jorj and hugged her tightly. “I have a mother now and maybe kin my own age, and a name!”

“Aye, good you must harsk, be fast.” Jorj cried into his hair. “Nae stealing.”

“Nae, I have a life now and someone to love. I won’t steal.” Alyx ran to the window next to Soleil who slipped out and was waiting for him. “Valen,” Alyx said as he jumped out after his mother alternate. Jorj smiled and slumped onto the bed weakly.

“Nata?”

Nata slowly untense herself. She looked around and nodded. “He’s gone.”

“Aye. They are making their escape as we speak.”

“We had a connection. I knew he always thought I was zorked, but when he held my hand he understood me. We…” Nata searched for the word.

“Bonded,” Jorj supplied. “You have to be careful who you share your magick with. You can see their personal thoughts, feelings, and situations. Also they can see yours.” Jorj stared at Samul.

Nata thought hard on Jorj’s words. “Samul?”

“He’s…”

“I’m fine. A little shaken. Why are we still here?”

Jorj stood up a little wobbly. “Waiting on you.”

“Nae I mean how come they haven’t barged in on us.”

“They don’t see our room,” explained Nata.

“What?” Cried Samul outrage, his eyes started to bulge.

“I hid the room.”

“How are you able to sustain this illusion?” Samul’s voice became very calm, quiet, and dangerous.

Nata looked at Jorj with apprehension. “Samul I had to. It was difficult, but Alyx helped lending me his strength and Jorj is supplying me with her strength right now, so I don’t have to concentrate at all.” Samul’s eyes grew small and he took a step toward Nata. “Jorj asked me to help. I had to help.”

Samul whirled around and glared at Jorj. “My kin! You endangered my kin!”

“I needed her. I couldn’t cure you AND hide us. What was I to do?” Jorj pleaded.

Samul took another step and was now sending daggers with his eyes at Jorj. “You could have let me die. Then use my…”

“Nae, Samul.” Nata ran into Samul’s arms. “Nae even speak like that.” Nata started to sob in his arms making Samul’s face soften.

“If you weren’t dating the enemy,” Samul started.

“Nae,” interrupted Jorj. “You know not what you speak of.”

“I know what I saw.”

“Nae, you think you know.”

“Stop,” yelled Nata. She looked from Samul to Jorj. “I can’t hold the illusion if you two keep fighting.”

Jorj spun away from the two of them. She wanted to pace, but there wasn’t enough room in her quarters. “We’ll leave in the middle of the night. In all the commotion Soleil and Alyx should have escaped, but it’s too late for us.” Jorj sat down at a desk opposite from Nata and Samul. She closed her eyes and sent more strength to Nata, so the young child was barely using any of her own.

Ch5.
“Jorj, Jorj!” Jorj awoke to Nata’s voice and Samul shaking her. “What?”

“It’s time to leave.”

Jorj nodded. She jumped down and her knees buckled. She would have fallen if Samul hadn’t caught her.

“Jorj!” Nata’s shriek pierced the room.

“Nae, I’m fine.”

“She used all her strength to keep me strong, Samul. She’s going to die.”

“Nae, I’m fine,” Jorj repeated. She got to her feet and pushed Samul away.
“We have to leave the inn. It can be seen.” Jorj could sense the magick wearing off the room.

As soon as the words left her mouth there were 3 bangs on the door. All 3 scrambled for the back window.

“Harsk, they’ll surround us soon.”

Jorj squeezed through first followed by Nata. Both girls waited, but it seemed Samul was taking forever. Jorj was about to go back in and get him when Samul emerged. As soon as his feet touched the ground they heard the front door break down. They sprinted into the woods, leaves slapped their faces, and needles got caught in their clothes. Jorj jumped over a log and kept going; when she felt it was safe she slowed down and stopped. Jorj didn’t know the location or where she was going, so she spun in a slow circle trying to get her bearings. She was breathing deeply afraid her heart would explode through her chest.

“Where are we,” panted Jorj.

“In the middle of Shakra Forest,” answered Nata in one breath. “The nearest town is that way.” She pointed to the left.

Jorj could feel the adrenaline leaving her body with each calming breath she took. “We’ll go there then. Stock up on supplies.” Jorj’s world went black. She vaguely remembered feeling strong arms around her instead of the hard cold ground.

Ch6.
Jorj slowly woke up blinking slowly. She looked around the room uncertainly. ‘We’ve been caught,’ she thought. She sat up and put her feet on the cold stone floor. Jorj yelped and pulled her feet back as realization slowly dawned on her. She was wearing a huge shirt and someone had undressed her. Jorj heard laughter and swung her head in that direction. Jorj quickly stood up and stomped to the curtain partition where the laughter was coming from. She reached out and moved the curtain with one swipe. At once all talking stopped and everyone in the room stared at her.

Samul’s face turned red and his eyes became black. He swiftly stood up and lumbered to her. As soon as he reached her he grabbed her above the elbow and pulled her back into the room. “What are you doing, Jorj, traipsing around like that.”
Jorj looked down. The shirt barely came to her thighs. Jorj yanked her arm from his hold and poked her finger into his chest. “Did you undress me?”

Samul’s face went red again, this time with embarrassment. “Nata couldn’t lift you. Did you want me to let those other men do it?”

“Nae, those other women!”

Samul growled. He looked murderous as Jorj searched for her pants. “You know women wear dresses or skirts.” Jorj ignored his taunts and concentrated on putting on her pants. Samul pounded his fist against the wall. “Why didn’t you just let the gorgan choke me? Why did you push him off?”

“I didn’t.”

“Nae?”

“Nae, I was,” Jorj sighed, “stunned to see Magladon. I didn’t react.”

Samul stared at her with indefinable emotions crossing his eyes. “Nata.”

“Aye. You know she’s a very powerful sorceress. She has such good and love in her. She should be properly trained, so she can control her powers.” Jorj look back, but Samul was gone. Jorj sighed, “Men,” she muttered.

Jorj walked back to the entrance, but before she could take a step out Nata appeared with a hot plate and a mug. She pushed Jorj back into the room. “Let’s talk.”

Jorj shrugged eyeing the food. “Aye.”

Nata handed her the plate, sat the mug next to the bed on a stand, and plopped on the cold stone floor, tucking her legs underneath her. “You like my brother Samul.” Jorj almost choked on her food. She shook her head swallowing hard. “He likes you too,” Nata smiled. This time Jorj did choke. She looked at Nata with huge eyes.

She shook her head then slowly scooted closer to Nata. “You think so? How do you know?”

Nata smiled wider. “Because you frustrate him so. Usually he ignores women, but you,” Nata shook her head. “You do something to him.” Nata who was usually left alone felt a connection with Jorj. She finally had someone to talk to who didn't think she was zork and understood her. She finally had another woman in her life and she liked it.

Jorj scooted closer and ended up sitting on the floor across from Nata their knees touching. “Aye, so tell me about Alyx.”

Nata’s looked down smiling. “He’s actually my 16 seasons almost 17.”

“Nae, he’s 12 seasons, 15 seasons the most.”

“Nae. He’s just short and he hides his physique under baggy clothes.”

“He has a physique, Nata?”

Nata giggled. “Aye, a hard one. I touched his chest.”

Jorj laughed. “I remember when your kin was sleeping, before Alyx and Soleil took off you two were whispering.”

Nata turned red. “He asked me to look into him and help him choose his true name. We held hands and stared deeply into each other’s eyes, minds.” Nata sighed, “We both said Valen at the same time.” Jorj laughed. “He kissed me.”

“You did? Where? Did you like it?”

Nata giggled again. “On the lips.” Jorj squealed with laughter. “Aye, I did. I liked it a lot.” Both girls exploded in laughter and screams.

Samul came running into the room, his sword drawn and he looked around. “What’s wrong? Are you both okay?”

Nata and Jorj stopped laughing and turned towards Samul. They both looked at each other and broke into laughter.

Samul looked at the two women in shock. “Stop laughing.” That statement only made Nata and Jorj laugh harder.

“Women.” Samul sighed and stomped off. As the two women calmed down Jorj noticed her stuff near by. She instantly stilled. “Who? How?”

Nata followed her gaze. “Samul. It looked important to him. He brought that stuff and carried you here.”

“He did.” Jorj looked into the doorway. Moments before it felt good to laugh. Moments before it felt like home, like she had a sister, one she never had. Moments before Samul came into the room and she realized her fate and his.

“Aye. He even brought that old heavy book.”

Jorj sighed with relief. “Thank the heavens. I was planning on going back for it.” Jorj jumped up and retrieved it. She sat back down and slid the book between them. Nata reached for it, but Jorj knocked her hands away. This was an important book and even letting Nata see it was putting a lot of trust and faith in the girl. Jorj was almost ready to let Nata see the contents, but she had to know something.

“First tell me about Samul and magick. I can sense he doesn’t like it.”

Nata’s eyes darken. “Our parents,” she started. She looked to the door before continuing, “They died when I was young about 7 seasons and Samul was 16 seasons. Samul went with our father to watch him practice dueling with a neighbor and our father was hurt badly,” Jorj sucked in a breath, “aye. Our mother called the healer, but she was too far away. Mother went in to try and sustain father. She never left. Her energy of life died right along with our fathers. The healer arrived shortly later too late.”

Jorj’s heart went out for the little boy and girl who lost their parents. “We lived with our aunt who never had children. She, like most people didn’t trust people who can wield magick. Samul never practice magick again. He frowns on anyone who can, even me.”

Jorj shook her head. She knew, ever since she laid eyes on Samul, but this confirmed it in her heart. “I tell you something it’ll stay between us. Life swear.”

“I swear on my life,” Nata completed the response to a lifetime, honor bound swear.

“My stars were read when I was younger. I am destined two lovers. One I grew up with and one I would meet in war. One I would be forced to kill. The other will kill me.” Jorj pulled her legs up and rocked back and forth. “I fear Magladon will kill me in retaliation of the magick you used to save Samul’s life and I fear I’ll kill Samul.”

“Nae!” Nata stood up. Jorj followed placing her hands on her shoulder.

“Nata, I swear on my life I won’t kill him. I’ll kill myself first.” Nata started to cry and Jorj held the sobbing child. “Nata please, take my swear.”

“I,” Nata panted between sobs, “don’t want you to die either.”

“Nata, Jorj, what’s wrong?”

Jorj jumped up her eyes wide staring at Samul who had just startled her.

“Nae, women’s time,” Nata walked away brushing past Samul. She looked at Jorj and mouthed, “Life swear,” before running out the door.

“Nata!” Samul called after her. He turned back to Jorj. “What did you do to her?”

“Why are you always accusing me of something?”

“Why does stuff always happen around you?”

Jorj glared at Samul She could feel the air in the room pulling towards her. If she didn’t control herself she’ll end up hurting him. Jorj closed her eyes and slowly released the pent up energy.

Samul sighed. He relaxed a little ruffling his hand through his hair. “Jorj I wanted to show you something, so now if you are done being tough follow me.”

Jorj wanted to smack him. She slowly followed him out the door trying not to let her energy fly him into the nearest horse dung pile.

“Teek!” Jorj ran to her horse. She hugged him and nuzzled his nose. “I wondered what happened to you.”

“He saved us.” Came a familiar voice. Jorj turned to see Soleil and Alyx.

“Alyx,” shouted Nata. She jumped into the boy’s arms. Samul raised an eyebrow and took a step toward them. Jorj deftly stepped into his path giving Alyx and Nata the time they needed to scurry off.

“Soleil,” Jorj walked to her. “How did everything go? You both are alright?”

Soleil hugged Jorj. “We were running to the trees when we were spotted. A soldier tackled me. Alyx tried to get him off, but the soldier pushed him away. Alyx grabbed the bag from me and ran at the soldier with a dagger, right when he was pushing up my skirt, Alyx stabbed him in the arm. Alyx left the dagger in his arm and helped me to my feet, we were about to flee when the soldier grabbed my ankle. Alyx kicked him in the face and we were running away when we heard a horse. I thought the whole brigade was on us so I stopped and turned. Jorj there was this beautiful horse charging at the soldier who had made it to his feet and was running after us. The horse bowled him over and drove us to the trees. Later Alyx and I rode him and he wouldn’t follow directions. He took us here.”

Jorj smiled. “That’s my Teek. I’m glad you and Alyx are okay.”

Soleil nodded. “Aye, me too. I have to get Alyx. I think we’re going to have a quick supper, get supplies, and move before the day is out. We have a good 3 moons walk from here.”

“I’ll lend you Teek. He’ll watch over you and Alyx and this time he’ll listen.”

“Thank you Jorj. That should cut our time in half, but I still want to leave as soon as possible.”

“Why the harsk, Soleil,” Samul asked.

“I saw the way that man looked at you, Samul, and Jorj. He wanted Samul dead and you to himself, Jorj. We left the dagger and that was yours. He’s going to notice you both missing and he’s going to come this way. It’s the closest village. It’s not safe here.”

Jorj nodded. “Soleil you’re right and knowing Magladon he won’t waste time. We should leave too.”

Soleil looked panicked and ran off to find Alyx.

“Why did you scare her like that?”

Jorj looked at Samul with disdain. “Because I’m scared.”

Nata ran up to Jorj and Samul. “What’s going on? Soleil said I should come to you.”

Jorj guided Nata into her kin’s arms and stalked off. Jorj quickly bundled up her belonging and was heading out the door.

“Jorj don’t leave us.” Nata stepped in front of Jorj. “We’ll go with you.”

“Nae.”

“Why?”

“Aye, Why?” Samul asked casually at his feet sat Nata’s and his bags already packed.

“You’ll be in danger,” Jorj stated. Plus she wanted to distant herself from Nata and Samul. She was already feeling like she was losing control around them. She worried for both of them and she barely knew Samul and yet she knew him. He barely spoke more than a dozen words to her and none that warmed her. She needed to think and she was afraid that if they were with her she wouldn't be able to think, but just feel and act.
“I assumed as much,” Samul countered leaning against the wall. He internally chided himself. He should grab his kin and leave the raven-haired beauty to fight her own battle with her murderous lover, but he couldn't. Samul could see past her tough exterior and he knew she was a warm, kind person. Also he saw how she responded to Nata. She wasn't rude or act like his kin was an annoyance she paid attention to her and if Nata liked her that was enough for him. Though deep inside Samul knew he wanted to protect both of them, even if he couldn't admit it to himself just yet.

“There’ll be fighting, killing.” Jorj words spilled into his mind.

“I can wield a sword,” he countered.

“What about Nata?”

“Nae, you know I can wield magick,” Nata raised her chin in defiance when both Jorj and Samul went to contradict her. “Besides you don’t know the land. I do. You need a guide,” Nata replied before they could say anything.

Samul laughed. He didn't know his kin could be so stubborn when she truly wanted something. “You’re wasting time.”

Jorj shook her head. “Fine, come, but we must harsk.” The three ran to the edge of the village. “Nata we need to go through the thickest part of the forest.”

Nata nodded and started forward. “Jorj where are we going?”

“I have to find Lord Sootro. I think he’s at Tropuit.”

“Tropuit! To get there we have to pass Rogue’s Forest.”

“Aye.”

“And the River of Shadows.”

“Aye.”

“Why do you think Tropuit,” asked Samul. There was something in his voice, but Jorj couldn’t place it.

“Something I heard in the village.”

“What,” Samul started, but Nata stopped standing still. Both Samul and Jorj stopped talking and listened. “Nata,” Samul whispered.

“We’re being followed,” she whispered back.

“What?” Jorj went to push her magick out.

“Nae they’ll feel it.” Nata cautioned.

Jorj instantly stopped. She felt a small disturbance in the air. They felt her magick and they were close.

“There are 15 maybe more.” Nata whispered, “and they’re hungry.”

Samul and Jorj locked eyes. “Rolts,” they said in unison. Samul and Jorj took off running each pushing Nata ahead.

“Harsk! Harsk!” Suddenly there was a loud ripping noise. “They’re coming!”

Nata stumbled and started to go down. Jorj grabbed her hand, pulled her up, and kept her from falling. A loud roar pierced the air.

“They got our scent!” Jorj glanced back to see in the distance movement.

Samul sprinted ahead Jorj and Nata. He withdrew his sword and started to cut his way thought the thicket.

“Nae,” Jorj yelled. “Squeeze through. It’ll slow them down. They aren’t as nimble.

Samul quickly sheathed his sword and stepped through. “Ow! There are thorns everywhere!” Samul reached for Nata. “Go slow, be careful.”

Jorj glanced back to see the hunched over humans approaching. They ran toward the three with arms forward, their mouths slack with drool down their chins. Their faces contorted with hunger. One in front fell and two behind him trampled him breaking his bones. He whimpered in agony and a few of the Rolts stop. They looked at him and suddenly as if on cue, they jumped on him. They started tearing at his flesh, biting him, eating him alive. He howled his pain in the air, before another Rolt silenced him by pulling out his jugular.

“Jorj!” Samul yelled.

“Aye!” Jorj ran into the thicket of thorns. She felt the thorns tear at her hair, cloak, and flesh. Jorj had to slow down or be torn to death. Jorj caught flashes of Nata ahead.

“Jorj harsk the end is near.” Jorj looked back and caught two Rolts chasing after her. Their hunger so much they didn’t feel the pain of the thorns as they charged through. “Jorj harsk!”

Jorj could see the opening with Nata and Samul staring at her with horror. Jorj could hear the Rolts getting closer. Jorj had just taken a step out of the thicket when a rough calloused hand grabbed her arm. It’s nails tore through her cloak. Jorj screamed in horror and tried to pull away. Another hand grabbed her ankle causing Jorj to fall to the ground.

Jorj could feel the fingers digging into her pants as they slowly pulled her back into the thicket. Jorj dug her nails into the ground trying to stop them from taking her. Kicking her legs she felt her foot connect with a fleshy body part. Jorj barely managed to pull herself out a foot when she felt something sharp pierce her leg. With tears in her eyes Jorj screamed in agony.

“Jorj!” Samul cried,” Hold on!” Jorj looked up to see Samul hacking away at Rolts. Their bodies were everywhere, but more kept coming. Nata was a few yards away trying to use magick to no avail. The Rolts just shrugged off the suggestions or every time they were thrown back just got up and charged harder and faster.

Jorj’s bag was on her back when one of the Rolts grabbed it, tearing it form her body. He sniffed it and threw it away. The bag opened and the old dusty book fell out and skidded to a stop at Nata’s heels. Nata glanced down at it and her face lit up. Bending she grabbed the book and Nata ran off with a few Rolts following which Jorj used the last bit of her magick to throw them into the trees breaking their bones.
“Nata!” Samul yelled, he was grateful to Jorj who gave Nata the time to escape, but he was still fearful for Nata's safety. Samul took a step toward where Nata had just disappeared to then stop looking down at Jorj where she was still struggling to get out of the thicket. Jorj was trying to gather more energy, but her fear stopped her from focusing. "Jorj!" Samul hacked away at a few more rolts who were trying to flank him and reached down to grab Jorj's hand to pull her to her feet.

Jorj locked eyes with Samul; his stormy gray one full of fright and anger. That was the last thing she saw before the Rolts pulled her back into the thicket. His hand inches away from where hers were moments before.