A Christmas Story

A Christmas Story

Two thousand and six years ago, in a small manger, a boy was born.  He was the king of men, the leader of the Jews.  Jesus Christ was his name.

In the sleeping village, in the dead of night, Jesus crawled from his bed.  He crawled for three days, one hundred miles, to the top of a great mountain.  When Jesus reached the top, he lay there, naked and cold.  A great light shone down and filled Christ with the power of God, the baby boy rose into the air.  On December 28th 1 AD, baby Jesus was hoisted by divinity and good.  All around the earth (which was flat at the time and only several thousand years old) the beacon of goodness and warmth filled everyone with an immobilizing blast of transient clarity…

The world stood still.  The people, and the babies, and bacteria, viruses, plants, dogs, cats, small cute furry animals, giraffes, sharks, used horse dealers and the like stopped.  All of man and animal united.

The eyes of all life on Earth looked to the peak of the great mountain, their activity stilted.  They were suspended in time as if they were stuck in honey.  It was an ethereal blue honey of God.  Mankind was stuck in an ethereal blue honey of God. 

Jesus Christ opened his eyes, floating in air, observing from his holy peak the ocean of blue honey.  Men and women speckled the ocean of light like bright purple stars.  Jesus saw every person as a purple star that shined through the blue light.  He felt every stars presence; every stars emotions, every stars wondrous depth.  He could see the good in them, and the bad.  He could see their qualities, and he could see their flaws.  As Christ absorbed their thoughts and fears, the people, stuck in unmoving time could feel his warmth.  The poor were rich, the cold were warm, and the hungry full.  For this moment in time they had all been filled with ephemeral happiness.  The happiness gripped their bodies and poured out their skin.  The happiness poured out as a purple light in an ocean of blue.

Mankind was stuck in the blue honey of God.  To them it wasn’t like being stuck, though.  It was like they had been torn loose from their daily lives.  The blacksmiths did not smith, and the doctors did not heal.  All life was no longer there to be constructive, they were just to be.  They shook loose from the tracks of their life to exist limitless in their opened minds.  For what seemed to them as only a moment, they were set free for an eternity.

Christ’s eyes widened.  All the light of the world poured into them.  The present tore through him shaking his body; then the future entered his mind.  In what seemed like seconds to mortal men, Jesus’ conscious passed through all future times.  It funneled through him like light through a prism.  All of humanity, all of Earth’s time, all time in the universe flowed through his eyes.  The future entered his mind until time turned red, and then went black.  He saw judgment day.  He saw man through his worst times.  He saw the sky turn red.  He saw the world abandoned to the evil and corrupt.  He saw the end.  He understood all that was to come.  God’s absolute knowing was transferred into Christ…

And as fast as the future was played into Christ’s mind, it rewound.  The light flipped and streamed back through him.  He witnessed World War 2 and slavery, he endured the crusades, and he saw the blood spilt in his name.  Time passed through him backwards to the day he descended from Heaven and walked backwards into his tomb.  The flow of time through his eyes continued, but slowed. 

Jesus saw himself walking backwards into his tomb only to emerge dead three days previous… He was carried to the cross, which he had seen so many times in the future.  It was soiled with blood and sweat.  Men hoisted Christ into the air, and pushed nails through his body until he hung still from the cross, wearing a crown of thorns.  Life streamed up through the soil and down through the clouds.  It coursed into his body and in time he came down from the cross and stepped backwards in time through all of the goodness and the teaching and the miracles that he had brought the world.  He saw himself giving every piece of his being to those around him.  He saw those around him that were affected.  He saw in slow motion, as happiness with him turned to sadness without him.  As he grew younger, warmth and love was absorbed into his body from those that he would give it to.  The future continued rewinding till the present, and three days earlier to his immaculate conception where Jesus was torn back three thousand years to the origin of the earth. 

The universe had just begun.  He saw the seventh day of creation, the sixth day of creation and down to the first day when God created light.  He saw the light disappear.  The end of time and the beginning of time looked to him as if it were the same.  His perception was flawless.

Jesus Christ knew everything.

And after his trip through all of time he grew to a man; a white man.  People were surprised because most Arabs weren’t white.  They did not question it.  He shined from atop the mountain.  He looked down to all the shining purple stars.  The purple stars all looked to him, eagerly awaiting what was to come.  He spoke.

“In one thousand nine hundred and eighty two years from now, after all of your lives have been utterly spent, from heaven or hell you will witness the historic event.  A boy, born of Irish decent, will emerge from the golden gates of a hospital in Buffalo, New York.  He will be good, and he will be pure.  He will be the object of envy and scrutiny… Love and hate… Happiness and sadness…  He will be unique.  You will see a man that is as much a god as he is a human.”

“His name will be Justin.”

“I think you’ll like him.”

My name is Justin, and I was born on December 28, 1982.

Merry Christmas.