I Suffered More

I suffered from more beatings than you could imagine
but not so much when I got older
maybe because she lost the desire to hit me
maybe because I got stronger
but she still did hit me from time to time
but I did get in a lick or two
I figure in her mind hitting me wasn't so affective anymore
so she changed to verbal abuse
she called me things you would never think
a mother would call her child
horrible words that made me go crazy
that even made me loose my mind
the words hurt worse than those terrible beatings
ask me why, I couldn't tell you
feeling so bad made life a living hell for me
all those things I went through
she made me feel like I deserved the pain
just because I was alive it made her bleed
she made it seem like it was all my fault
that her depression was caused by me
does she really regret what she did to me
or was that another lie from her disgusting mouth
and even though its hard I do forgive her
but I still lost a part of me that will never be found