The Maw (Final Draft)

         Our entire life we set out to search for what it means. Why are we here? Is there something out there that created us? Some sort of higher power? Well, let’s face the facts, we’ll never know until we’re dead; and with our luck, we won’t know then either. So this is my story. I know, it’s a cliché line; but it is my story. Not my life story, or how I found love. It’s about the amazing epiphany I had…

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         Let’s start from the beginning, as it may seem obvious. I was born in a small village in the Four Valleys,  about 2273 BCE. Where the Four Valleys are, geographically, I can’t tell you. We didn’t have maps, or globes when I was alive, but what we did have was a strong religious sense. But I’ll get to that later.

         Four Valleys is exactly as it says, four valleys. Four canyons that meet in one spot. So it’s more like one giant canyon, but we preferred to call it Four Valleys. There are bare patches scattered among its pine covered ridges, where the various tribes have built their villages. All of us have fought for ages over control of Four Valleys, all of us claiming “we were here first!” even though none of us really know who was here first. We simply wish to be dominate, overpowering, and supreme. If it were up to the most malicious leader among us, we’d all be their slaves. Every tribe disagrees on almost everything with the other tribes.

         But there is one thing we all agree on. One single thing that many of us tend to misinterpret. We all believe in the same god: The Maw.

         The Maw is a huge pit that is drilled deep down into the earth in the very center of Four Valleys, where they all branch off from each other. It lays there, silent. Stretching so far that you can’t see the other end, like when you’re in a boat out in the ocean, and no matter where you look you can’t see anything but the water, the sky, and the horizon. Everything around it is dead and barren, a dark mist rises from it’s mouth, and every now and then a deep rumble emanates from its depths.

         Every tribe believes at least this: The Maw is the all knowing ruler of the world, that works in mysterious ways. It holds the secrets and answers to everything. It is divine, all knowing, and utterly holy. And we all believe, that if we keep our faith in it, and we die, we will become one with it, and live in eternal bliss. But those who don’t believe in it will be cursed to walk the face of the Earth, filled with grief, and sadness, never to see human life again. And none of us wish that, so we worship it… heavily.

         But each tribe thinks something different. The Hyra tribe, for example, believes that The Maw will unleash an army upon the world and scour it of all that misinterpreted it, and all of those who don’t believe in it. While the Oblo tribe believes that they need to sacrifice innocents to appease The Maw’s “hunger for mortal blood”. While my people, the Trik tribe believes that we simply need to live a good life, and follow The Maw’s “teachings”, which are preached to us by the High Priests. But the truth is, that none of us know what The Maw is, what it’s doing here, and whether or not it really is the “supreme ruler of the world”.

         Why do we, as human beings, live under the rule of a god that we pulled from the depths of our imaginations? Is it because we need to fill a hole in our life? Is it because we need to live under certain guidelines? Or is it because we’re afraid? Is it because we live in fear of death, disease, and misfortune? We need to feel as if something out there is looking out for us. Like something is trying to make our lives better, in return for our belief. But is this really the truth? That’s what I’ve wondered all my life…

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         The laws in my tribe said that children weren't allowed to hear about The Maw until they were sixteen. By the age of eighteen they were permitted to make a pilgrimage to The Maw, upon their return they would be considered a full fledged adult.

         I, on the other hand, wanted to be the first person to travel to The Maw and discover its secrets. I viewed the world as bitter, confusing, and misguided. Even when I was a little boy, I thought that life was unfair. I believed that if I traveled to the Maw I would find all the answers that no one else had. I believed that I would reach eternal bliss. So I made a promise to myself, that when I turned eighteen I would travel to The Maw, and fulfill my greatest goal.

         So on the eve of my eighteenth birthday I packed as lightly as I could. One of my favorite village Elders, and one of my greatest friends, told me that I couldn't pack light enough for a trip like this. So I threw an extra shirt, two full skins of water, a hunting knife, a bundle of bread and dried berries into a blanket and tied it up tightly.

         Throwing my meager supplies over my shoulder I walked through the door with an optimistic smile. I waved goodbye to my parents, who were crying for they had the same feeling that I had about me not returning from my journey. Not that I mean I was going to die, I just was going to return anew. The old me would die, and the new one would return.

         I waved goodbye to my friends, family, and neighbors as I walked down the worn rode that lead out of the village. They all seemed happy, but behind their masks they were sad and morose. I knew they didn't really care what I found, because they had done the exact same thing. Gone to The Maw, found nothing, and came back. But I was determined to find the answers.

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         I don't wish to bore you with the stories of me traversing the path to The Maw in great detail. It was long, and it was treacherous. Although Four Valleys are inhabitable, they're not exactly safe. Strange creatures lurk in the darkness of the forests, so I stuck to the path that the Porters had worn in the forest during their monthly commute.

         The elements fought against me the entire way. On my first day of hiking the sun beat down on me. I had to walk through the dangerous trees for a few hours simply to avoid meeting my demise due to the heat. The next day it rained so hard that it felt as if I were being pelted by rocks. I tried my best to keep all of my possessions dry and safe, but the rains is a tricky foe, and I soon found myself soaked from head to toe holding a wet bundle.

         By three days I had left the dangers of the forest and entered the desolation of the Badlands. A dreary wasteland of grey rock and dirt sprawled across the land like a dragon sleeping on his treasure. A land where anyone can lose their mind.

         The rain from the previous day had left the Badlands soaked, riddled with puddles and rocks that would easily slide away when going uphill. It took me twice as long to traverse this as opposed to the other days. I slept on the only dry rock I could find for miles, but it didn't matter; my clothes were still wet from the previous day.

         The next day was hot again, so so hot... and I ran out of water. I struggled to get through the final run of the Badlands and into the shade of the trees. I imagine what I must've looked like from afar; hunched over like an ape, panting and dripping.

         I literally fell into the forest, and passed out. Perhaps if it weren't for Rolfa I would've died...

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         I awoke, face up, staring at the forest canopy. Some sort of bird I didn't recognize fluttered over head as the dirty green light filtered down from between the leaves of the trees. I furrowed my brow, puzzled. The trees were too thick to be the outskirts of the forest. A soft kur-plunk sounded at my feet and I quickly sat up.

         A crystal clear pool of water sat at my feet. It shimmered with brilliance and beauty as the ripples brushed gently across its surface. It was sublime. Without hesitation or thought I leaped forward and literally threw my head into the water. I sucked some of it in and gulped it down them pulled my head out of the water and took a deep breath.          “Thirsty?” A deep raspy voice asked from across the pool. I wiped my eyes clean, my mouth still hanging open as I breathed heavily. A man sat hunched on the other side of the pool, crouched on top of a rock with several stones clicking in his hand. He was a brute, with long hair that was matted and caked with dirt. He wore a tattered shirt and a dirty old loin-cloth. He smiled at me with crooked teeth and stroked his gnarled beard.

         “Thought you'd never wake up.” He chuckled as he threw another stone into the water with a soft “kur-plunk”. I stared in astonishment at him, finally putting the pieces together.

         “Who are you?” I asked out of curiosity, but not fear.

         “The name's Rolfa. Came from your village say... twenty years ago? Was exiled.” This obviously wasn't the kind of man to take things slow, he was moving so fast he didn't even ask me for my name.

         “How do you know what village I'm from?”  This time I was a bit worried, after all he could've been stalking me.

         “Ah, ye all come through here to go to 'The Maw'!” He said condescendingly.

         “What's wrong with it?” I asked, defensively.

         “It's hell!” He screamed, which caused me to leap backwards. “It's the incarnation of evil my boy! Don't go near it, it'll eat you alive just like it did me.” By then I was on my feet and already starting to back away, but he continued talking.

         “I'll cal you m' boy, just like me. You'll want to enter it, become part of it. But don't do it! Don't go near it! Don't...” Now I was running, away from the man. He was calling after me, but it didn't seem as if he was following me for his voice was getting quieter and quieter. I stopped under a large tree, bent over and tried to catch my breath. But to no avail; I vomited all over the ground from dehydration and exhaustion. But I couldn't go back to that pool, nor could I give up and turn back, or just die here. I had to continue on.

         I had set a goal for myself, one that I planned to accomplish. I was seeking answers, and I would have them! No wild man or ball of fire in the sky would stop me! So I looked at the sun, judging which way The Maw was, then broke into a brisk walk towards my destination.

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         Despite my achy body and hazy vision I felt on top of the world. I was so close to accomplishing my goal, and I was determined to do so. To this day I'm still not quite sure what I was specifically feeling. Fear? Joy? Pain? I don't know. I could have very well been full of anguish or bliss. It's been so long that I don't know, and back then I wasn't exactly sure which feelings were which, just like the rest of us. We need to dissect everything to understand it, and I was not willing to do so. Instead I followed what I thought my heart was telling me, and I continued on towards the god that resided in the center of my world.

         When I crested that shallow hill of badland terrain not to far from the forest I was overtaken by something I had never expected. I climbed wearily up the side to stare out at a land of death and beauty. Hundreds of miles of blue sand lay outspread across the land, with gnarled trees and black rocks. I stopped, dumbfounded for about five minutes, then stepped into the unknown. But nothing could shake the feeling that began to creep into the very tip of my skull, probing my mind with its tendrils.

         I felt lost; unfulfilled even though I had come all of this way. I felt as if someone had gored my stomach with a searing hot blade, then ripped it out. I’d renounced everything and come all this way, like the holy men before me, only to find nothing I had sacrificed myself for.

         I’d traveled so far. And now I’ve reached the twisted land of The Maw, where I stand right now, only to have everything I’ve discovered blow away like dust in the wind.

         I stared out at the hot blue sand that felt like silk beneath my feet. Out at the twisted trees, charred black from The Maw's presence; and yet, among all the ugliness, The Maw seemed so beautiful from simplicity, like a mountain.

         The great black pit stretched out for miles to the horizon. Its edge endless; its mouth bottomless. A dark mist wafted calmly from its depths; and columns of rock caked together with mud, teetered on its lip, pointing in towards it like curved teeth. Who would've thought that a giant hole in the middle of four valleys would be so breathtaking?

         With shaky legs and weary eyes I took several steps towards the. Why I was so disoriented I’m not sure, it could’ve been from the exhaustion or the feeling of awe. The wind suddenly picked up, blowing the fine sand into my eyes. I shielded my face from the assault, hunched over, and continued on to The Maw.

         I had gotten halfway there when the wind stopped, and everything stilled. I froze, as if I’d been stabbed in the back, when the silence of lifelessness followed. I staggered forward, like a drunk, and fell to my knees at the very edge of The Maw. Clutching to one of the pillars like a child clutches to their mother when they are scared.

         I had come here out of pure hope. Hope to feel what my ancestors had felt centuries ago when they came here. Hope of discovering the secrets that The Maw held; secrets that had killed people in the process of finding them. I had come to this great, god like scar on the face of the Earth, trying to find what no one else had.

         I wondered what out ancestors had felt when they first stumbled upon this holy place. Did they feel what I was feeling now? What was going on in their heads when they found this massive pit? What did they think, and do to make so many people in these valleys worship this “god”.

         It’s hard to describe such a feeling. Imagine that you are a mere child once again. It’s your birthday, and you’ve gotten all worked up over a present you asked your parents. And then you get the present, only to have it break or get snatched away from you by your older sibling. Now imagine having the meaning of your whole life depend on that present. Every single thing resting on the tip of a needle.

         I had nothing left; I had renounced everything to come here. Everything to find the answers, but I had more questions that I did when I had left. I had left my family, my home, my love my whole life to come here. I thought I had to but apparently I didn't.

         I knew what I had to do. If it worked, life would be bliss. If it didn't life would end in agony. I had to enter the belly of the beast.

         And so, I threw myself in...

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         I woke up with the fresh taste of blood in my mouth; something cold was pressed up against my cheek. A rock maybe? I couldn’t tell, the whole room was shrouded in pitch black darkness. I turned over, wiping the slightly dry blood from my lip, and looked up, staring blankly into the darkness. Or at least what I thought was up. Nothing but darkness and emptiness.

         I sat up, wiping even more of the dry blood from my lip and eyebrow, and stared into the darkness. A sudden roar of what sounded like thunder echoed throughout the chamber as The Maw let out another one of its random growls. Which made me think even more: Is this thing alive? Is it some sort of volcano or pit? Or is it really alive?But the number one thing that I thought was I made it... all the way to the bottom of The Maw. And I'm alive.

         That's when I noticed the agony; the searing hot pain that was shooting up my spine like an electric current. I gritted my teeth so hard my head started to shake until, with my eyes screwed shut, I let out a howl of pain and anguish. I didn't die when I had jumped in, but I hadn't reached bliss. Instead I lay in the bottom of The Maw, with a broken leg and who knows what else, forever crippled and helpless in this world.

         How did I survive such a fall? I thought to myself, The Maw is deeper than anyone can fathom, how did I make it? I lay there for what seemed like days. I slept, felt the first twinge of pain in my belly as hunger set in until it grew into a terrible feeling that didn't really feel like pain, but it still brought tears to my eyes.

         I woke up one night (or morning, I'm not sure) to a deep rumble within the very depths of The Maw. I shuddered as the thunderous sound swept through me from head to toe. I tried to sit upright, but my broken leg wouldn't allow it, and my spine still seared with pain. Pain that I was now used to.

         I heard the sound of footsteps, distant. I dismissed it, realizing that it was just me imagining things.

         I started to cry again, realizing that I had destroyed everything I stood for. The darkness of this horrid place was simply a symbol of all the bad I had done, the greed and lust I had felt, and the mistake I made of simply coming to this wretched pit. God, ha! It was all an illusion, just to get us to follow the leaders.

         I had felt so much over the past week: greed, sadness, failure, anger, accomplishment. Everything down to the most basic human needs of hunger and thirst, along with the insatiable feeling of pain. I had experienced so much for no reason. And as The Maw let out another moan I realized that my demise was nigh, that it was growing closer by the second, and I wanted it to come as quickly and swiftly as possible.

         I took a deep breath as my imagination of the footsteps grew louder. Death was coming for me, and I knew it, so I held my breath until the sound grew louder and louder. I held every single moment of my life dear (but also with distaste), as the sound stopped at my feet. I felt nothing but the pains in my body. No relief or satisfaction. Nothing that I associated with dying. Nothing had happened.

         I wrenched my eyes open, something I hadn't done for days for I felt no need to keep them open in eternal darkness. The light blinded me temporarily, but once the small white spots of my eyes faded away I saw clearly that I was still in the great pit, just with someone else. Someone stood at my feet, clad in black and white robes. I'm not sure if they were male, or female, but it didn't matter. I'm not sure how I saw them in the darkness either, but it seemed as if they were giving off some sort of light. How did they get down here in one piece? I took a breath to say something, but they interrupted.

         “Why have you come here?” It asked in a gargled tone that made it even more difficult to figure out the gender.

         “I...” I didn't know what to say, so I figured honesty would be less painful. “I don't know.” I moaned weakly.

         “Why did you jump?”

         “Because I felt like coming here solved nothing!” I spat, getting angry at myself. “I had to go deeper but... it didn't help.” My words got quieter as I spoke.

         “You came here because you wanted to reap the rewards that so many have told you that I hold.”

         “That I hold.”? I asked myself, perplexed. I simply had to ask the question that people asked all the time. “Who are you?”

         “I am the avatar of what your people have come to know as 'The Maw'.” So it was true: The Maw was a spirit, or a god. “You have been seeking the answers to life, the greatest knowledge that one can obtain. But you have been going about it all the wrong way. You have risked your life for something that you, nor anyone else needs. You have destroyed the very fabric of your being to get here. And it sickens me.” I could feel a lump rising in my throat as I realized that the god I had worshiped for so long despised me.

         “And now the moment of judgment comes.” the avatar said, but it vanished in a second. I took several deep breaths in feverish succession, but I did not cry. I had cried so much over the past few days and nights that I could not do it any longer. I continued this way for several minutes, taking deep breaths in a fearful manner until I could feel the serenity flow through my bloodstream.

         So I lay there for quite some time, not thinking of my pain, or how cold and sore my backside was. I dwelled on what The Maw had told me. About how I was going about it the wrong way, and how I risked my life without reason. Then there was a connection in my head as I thought of the last few words I heard. “And now the moment of judgment comes.”

         For a few seconds I felt fearful, for I realized what he meant by that. But that didn't last long, for soon I was laughing; deep and heartily as I spat on Death's foot. The joy that this action brought me spread through my veins just as the serenity had. For the first time in a long time I felt happy. Happy that I could laugh in the face of death, that I wasn’t afraid!

         And in that instance the avatar reappeared. It stood before me with a rigid stance, obviously trying to intimidate me, but it failed do so. I looked it straight in the featureless face until I could feel the entire depths of The Maw bending in towards me with a determined will. The avatar bent forward slightly, staring me down, the whole inside of The Maw began to churn and bend inwards as it attempted to fight me, but I simply stared at its avatar, and smiled.

         Then things started to grow lax, and the walls returned to normal, the avatar took on a more relaxed stance. I continued to stare, smiling brightly. “You are not afraid?” I nodded, not risking a weak voice by speaking.

         “Why not?” I could tell it was confused.

         “Because I realized that every moment of life should be enjoyed, even if it is in agony or fear.” I could almost feel The Maw smile as I said this. A deep groan of satisfaction rumbled in the chamber, and I continued to listen.
         “And how did you come upon such thoughts?”

         “When you said '...the moment of judgment comes.' I realized that I was facing my own death. It stood before me in the darkness, and I laughed. For my death should be enjoyed and celebrated!” I cheered, I would've jumped to my feet and danced but I couldn't due to my leg. But The Maw took on another serious stance, which frightened me this time.

         “Do not think that fearlessness is happiness nor is ignorance bliss.” Then there was nothing once again. I continued my daily routine: thinking. No longer fearful, my leg no longer hurt; in fact it could very well be healed but I didn't think it was. I thought for very long, a day maybe? And more of those connections I loved so much sprouted into my mind. Connections about the world and nothingness. Good and evil. How emotions are felt simply to fill the world of gray with a riot of color.

         Then I realized one last thing, something that completed a path in my mind and launched me down it. Something that suddenly made me extremely happy, simply put. I sat up, ignoring the pain in my spine, to face the avatar one more time. “What have you realized?” it asked, as if it were a test.

         “Everything must be enjoyed, especially the simple things.” I said with a determination.

         “And?”

         “One can't escape life. And one can't control anything around him.”

         “And?” it asked with a happier tone this time.

         “How to find bliss...” The avatar took a bow as I said this.

“Congratulations, judgment has come.” it said with joy, “I admit, I was expecting to have you released back into the world as an exile, like I have done to so many others. But you are the first to pass judgment.” My mind shot to Rolfa. He must've failed judgment, and death wasn't his punishment.

         “I can hardly believe what has happened... I feel nothing like I have before. I don't feel like I need to seek for answers anymore! I don't feel fulfilled, yet I don't want to be fulfilled. It's... bliss.” I chuckled.

         “Which is how you must live...” I laid down on the rocky cold floor, all pain and discomfort banished from my being. I smiled as I stared up at the nothingness, still residing in this great pit, but happy. I hummed several lullabies my mother used to sing to me as a child, happy and carefree, until I drifted into the first decent sleep I'd had in days.

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         I awoke to look up at the brightly colored stars and pallid moon. I smiled as I picked my head up to look at the dark land that had caused me so much anguish. It was so beautiful I held back a quivering laugh, one of the ones that is a mix of tears from joy, and laughter of relief.. The bluish sand glowed softly in the moon light as the dark rocks and trees cast twisted shadows on the dunes. The Maw sat calmly in the center of it all, the mists forming tranquil clouds in the night sky.  It let out another moan, which seemed so quiet out here. A moan of satisfaction.

         I looked down at my black feet, half buried in the sand. I laughed. I laughed so long and so hard that I could literally feel the muscles in my stomach grow stronger. I wiped the tears of joy from my eyes, not really concerned if I had dreamt it all or not, and stood up. I walked calmly to the lip, my leg twinged with a slight pain, but I hardly noticed it.

         I crouched down, leaning against one of the teeth. I let out a deep sigh, and The Maw did so too. I began to hum in the darkness, a bright smile upon my face. I laughed and talked as if I were with any other human. I made a fire out of one of the trees and a couple of rocks and I danced and sang, enjoying The Maw's company. Whether or not I did imagine it all, I still felt as if I had a personal relationship with this thing, whatever it was, and I loved it.

         I awoke the next morning, gathered up my bundle, and headed to the spring where I had met Rolfa, but he wasn't there. So, not feeling disappointed, I filled up my water skins, killed a small Boar for dinner, and carved a message in a tree for Rolfa to read if he ever found it again. Then I started towards home.