Lost in Thought

I stood there hovering over the peeking cliff, watching the dark waters splat against the rocks below. A cool breeze sent up from the water chilled my spine as pieces of my hair lifted, blowing towards the east. The new moon was the perfect time to do this; to create a new start, for my family at least. I prayed the goddess would help them along after I was gone. Happily the effects of the pills and vodka were finally starting to kick in as I impatiently waited for the change in wind directions.  The last thing I wanted was for my body to get pushed up towards the rocks and for my family to see it like that. If everything went well I would be dead and lost at sea. At a glance I could see only the reflection of the sky on the water, no sea life seemed to want to be apart of my destination. The rippling water was not doing it's justification of the sky creating certain places where the sky should look so beautiful were looking more lifeless.  I needed to see something that connected my lover and me and my eyes seemed to know the perfect thing.
      Unconsciously my head tilted up towards the night's dark purple sky looking in the direction of where the moon would be if it were in another phase, knowing she would be looking too. "Beautiful night, eh love?" The voice that came from my mouth didn't sound right, the speech was slurred and incoherent nothing like the voice I usually heard every day coming out of my mouth. A small smile broke out on my face knowing that this would actually work. Hopefully with the 2 bottles of tranquilizers and vodka I would be dead before I slammed into the rocks, from the way I sounded it was a strong possibility. The switch of the wind direction alerted me that it was time. I threw the vodka bottle into the sea and semi watched how and where it landed. "Out to sea, good" Once again my voice was slurred as I took my first wobbly step towards my death. A loud grumbling sound emitted from somewhere close to me caught me off guard. My weakened senses were no help as the strength of the wind gave me small nudges towards the fate I had picked. I knew then and there that the noise I heard was a sign from the goddess encouraging me to hurry this process along. I took one step off the edge when everything went dark.