So It Goes... I Know I Don't Know I Know

"My Own Meandering Experiences..."

I have been enveloped in a mingle of coincidences and fateful happenings. There must be a reason why I have been bombarded with this kind of idealistic, spiritual, metaphysical and epistemological propaganda...

I've had a word... I've been given a word rather. Clemency, so soft and subtle. Clemency has been in every mouth, on every written page... Why now? And I mean literally, the word clemency has been everywhere. It seems I cannot escape it, nor do I desire to of course... I above all know the importance of that definition! Enfold me in it!

Something is positively screaming in my ear to listen to the message... so far this is what I've got:

Inner Strength and Courage...

I posses more than I am aware of, I need to draw on this and focus it on teaching--------->

Clemency...

there are those who can learn from my example, to be forgiving... but not just that, to be understanding of why the sin is commited in the first place... we are all victims and criminals in one.

Yet, I must learn not to judge, that is my vice...

I empathize, but still I judge...

Where does the difference lie? Do I in essence think that I am above the majority of my fellow human beings? In the secret recesses of my heart a tiny voice whispers

yes...

I am infinitely ashamed of this fact. Yet, all the while my soul shouts from the mountaintops my truest desire for justice, fairness, love and respect for all. It is simply in my nature to be courteous, to be kind and thoughtful, and (not so) secretly I pride myself on this, my second sin on one page...

And so I falter, on this line between my ideals of humanity and my own imperfections. I feel arrogant in saying I am meant to teach when in me I feel so little knowledge, even and especially of myself. Yet, I perceive a growing momentum to impress my vision on my companions...

My mind is chaotic with contradictory desires and invisible forces of will.



I just hope I can decipher this puzzle... I'll wait for the next word to come from the darkness I suppose...