Vittles: A Squirrel's Tale

"Vittles! Just look at you, you're always getting into trouble. One day you'll end up on someone's dinner table."

Vittles stifled a tittering giggle. He always saw himself lying on one of those plates the humans put their food on. He would be on his back, all four paws sticking up in the air, a small tomato in his mouth and his belly covered in gravy. It always tickled him to think of it.

His mother was still chattering away at him. She had caught him playing too high up in the treetops again. She finally finished with a angry flick of her tail and climbed up to her favorite branch for a nap.

Perfect. A new family had moved into the house that belonged to their tree. Today a lot of other people came driving up in the metal monsters, all carrying something. He sometimes caught whiffs of pleasant smells as they walked beneath him. He wanted to know what they were up to.

Scampering down the side of the tree, he looked carefully for more of the metal monsters and bounded across the yard. The new family had been cleaning and painting their new house but had failed to find his favorite entrance into the attic. Scrambling up a tree next to the big house, he jumped across to the roof, scurried under the eaves and into his hidey hole. This gave him full run of the attic.

Vittles knew about where the room was where the people ate, and ran along beams to his destination. Then it happened before he could stop.

The floor beneath him opened up over the large dining table and he fell, all four feet straight out. He landed with a loud splash in a bowl of gravy. Coming up for air, he saw people scrambling to get out of the way. A woman was screaming something about the devil coming to visit. Children were shrieking with laughter.

Looking wildly about, he saw what he was looking for. He jumped on top of a tall man's head, clambered up the chandelier and back into the attic. As fast as his little legs could carry him, he was out of his hidey hole and down the tree by the house. Other squirrels came out to see what the commotion was about and began chattering and laughing at him. Finally he flew up the tree to his mother.

"Vittles!" she said, "Just look at you, you're always getting into trouble. One day you'll end up on someone's dinner table."