"The Fountain" by The Nut

The Fountain
By
The Nut

November 17, 2006



David was sitting at his desk one day, when his secretary, Joan, brought him a package. “This just arrived for you by FedEx.” She laid the package on the corner of his desk and asked “ will that be all, Mr. Stuart?” “No Joan, that’s all.” Joan began walking towards the door.

David reached for the package and began opening it. Inside was an envelope with the return address, “from the desk of John Roth.” “Joan, where are you sneaking off to? Are you in on this?” Joan turned around and said, “in on what, Mr. Stuart? I don’t understand.”

David rose from his desk and began walking towards Joan, showing her the envelope. She looked at the return address, and a grin spread across her face. “Well, you’re going to have to open it. I don’t think anything will jump out and bite you. I hope that The War Of The Jokesters doesn’t start up again.” “I think you ought to hang around for this one, Joan”

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David and John were long-time friends, having went to college together and being roommates. They had a history of constantly playing practical jokes on each other. After graduation, David had stayed behind in Knoxville, building his career up to owning several engineering firms. John had moved to Richmond for a good job with an excellent engineering firm.

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David began methodically opening the envelope. It contained an invitation to John’s 10th wedding anniversary celebration, which was to be held this coming Saturday evening. David noticed that it had a note attached to it. The note was from John, asking him to give a toast at the celebration, the same one that he had given at their wedding.

David stared at the note with a shocked look on his face. “Joan, I realize that it’s five minutes until lunchtime, but if you will do me a favor, I’ll give you the rest of the day off. Would you please look through “The Jokester’s” file and find my wedding toast? I was half drunk when I gave it, and don’t remember what it said.” “Of course I will, Mr. Stuart”. Giggling, Joan left David’s office to look for the toast. About ten minutes later, Joan returned to David’s office and handed him a copy of the toast. David spent the rest of the afternoon memorizing the toast.

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David’s personal limo driver took him to the airport to catch his Leer jet to Richmond. The driver opened David’s door, and he stepped out of the limo. As the driver unloaded the luggage and carried it to the jet, David walked towards the pilots. The pilots greeted him, “good afternoon, Sir.” “Good afternoon, Commander. Have you finished your walk around?” “Yes Sir, we’re ready to go.” “Commander, I know that you do your job well, but I would like to make a walk around, as I usually do.” “As you wish, Sir. Let us know when you are aboard. We will be doing our pre-flight.” David did his walk around, boarded the jet, and pulled the hatch closed behind him. “At your convenience, Commander.”

David arrived in Richmond around 1pm. Joan had made arrangements for a limo to pick him up at the airport and take him to his hotel. After he got settled into his suite, he showered and dressed in his tux. He then asked the driver to recommend a good restaurant for him to have lunch. “Yes sir, I know just the place. Do you like Italian?” “Why, that’s my favorite. Will you join me, my treat?” The driver was very surprised, but accepted the offer.

As they entered the restaurant, everyone in the restaurant looked towards them with raised eyebrows. “Sir, would you like for me to wait in the car?” “No” said David, as he placed his hand on the driver’s shoulder. “You’re my friend, and if you don’t eat here, I won’t either.” David looked at the maitre d and said “a table for two, please.” “Right this way, Sir.”

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After they placed their orders, David looked at the driver and said “I need some information.” “Yes Sir, Mr. Stuart. What can I help you with?” “Please call me David. And what is your name?” “It’s George, Sir, I mean David.” “I’d like to go on a tour of the city. I’ve heard about the fountain, and I’d like to see it. Can you take me there?” “Yes David.”

George drove David around Richmond, showing him the sights. “David, I’ll take you to the fountain now.” Once they reached their destination, David stepped out of the limo and walked towards the fountain. David looked around at the forest surrounding the parking lot. He saw two squirrels playing, and took in the sounds of nature. He walked over to the fountain, looked over the overlook, and took in the view of Richmond. A feeling of peace came over him as he took in the beautiful view. “Now, I am ready” he thought. He walked back to the limo. “George, let’s go to the Country Club now, and get a drink.” “Yes, David.”

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When they arrived at the Country Club, they headed towards the bar. The host said “I’m sorry, but you can’t enter. You’re not members.” “I’m a guest of the wedding celebration here tonight, and this is a friend of mine.” “Well Sir, in that case, you may enter, but you’re friend may not. If you were a member, you would be allowed a guest, but your ‘driver’ may not enter.” With one eyebrow raised, David said sharply to the host, “I understand”. He looked at George, and said “follow me.”

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David led George outside. “George, I own five engineering firms and have many employees. I take good care of them, and I’m the one that looks and the suggestion forms for the satisfied or dissatisfied checks. I’m going to buy a full membership for you and your wife. That will include Sunday brunches and rounds of golf. In addition, I would like to make a proposition. Now, you may turn it down if you wish. As my anniversary gift to John & Kate, would you be their personal driver for a year? I know them well, they are fine people, and they will treat you with respect. I will see to it that your company holds your job for you, should you decide to go back.”

“Mr. Stuart, I will accept your job offer, but I cannot accept the membership.” “George, I’m your friend, remember. Call me Dave, David, whichever you like, but please no more Mr. Stuart. I am tired of seeing people look down upon other people. In my eyes, everyone is equal. It’s what’s on the inside that counts” said David, as he patted George on the chest. George, please accept this membership. I really would like to see the look on that sorry-for-an-excuse-of-a-human-being’s face when we walk back into the bar.” “All I can say is thank you, you’re a very generous man.”

“George, I’m the “Jokester of Tennessee”, and John is the “Jokester of Virginia.” I’d really like to pull one over on that sorry-excuse-of-a-human-being, if you’ll help me. Now, let’s go get that membership.”

George and David re-entered the building. They found that the host was not at the door. David told George, “let’s rush into the registration office.” David signed George up for a full membership.

George and David left the registration office, and saw that the host had returned. They walked back towards the bar. The host said, “I believe I told you two gentlemen that you cannot enter. Neither of you is a member.” “I must correct you, host, one of us is now a member.” “Yes Sir” said the host, as he looked towards David. “But it’s not me.” George whipped out his membership card, waved it under the host’s nose, and said “table for two, host.” David howled in laughter.

Later that evening, George and his wife enjoy dinner at the Country Club.

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David arrived at the celebration, and began looking for John. When he found him, he snuck up behind him and shouted, over his shoulder, “hey, you son-of-a-bitch.” John turned around, laughed, and said, “good to see you, you old bastard” as he gave him a hug. “Welcome, David. Go on up to the bar and get yourself a drink. We’ll all catch up and talk” said Kate.

David got himself a Scotch on the rocks, and thoughtfully got one for John as well, and walked back up to Kate and John. David handed John his drink. As David raised his glass to his mouth, John became suspicious, and asked, “why don’t we trade glasses?” With an unsettled look on his face, David exchanged glasses with John. “Hey, ole John, I’ve got you an unusual anniversary gift – a limo driver for a year.” “Dave, I was going to get that for her. Thanks, buddy.” “What’s a friend for?”

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By this time Susan, a friend of Kate’s, had walked up to them and overheard their conversation.. Everything that Kate told me about him must be true. And he’s so handsome. If only I could fine a man like that, thought Susan.

Susan tapped Kate on the back, and hoped that she would get her hint. Kate knew what Susan wanted. “David, I would like you to meet a good friend of mine. This is Susan Adams. Susan, this is the “Jokester of Tennessee”, David Stuart. David put his hand out, and said “it’s a pleasure to meet a beautiful lady like you.” Susan blushed. She shook his hand and said “thank you.” “Susan is free tonight. I’m sure she’d like to show you around the Club.”

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David rose from his table, tapped his glass with his spoon, and said “I’d like to make a toast.” After he made the same toast he had made ten years ago, he said “may the happy couple have many more years together”, as he looked Susan deeply into her eyes. David, sitting next to John, leaned over to him and said in his ear, “buddy, I’m going after Susan. I’ll catch you later.” “Good luck, buddy. She’s a great girl.” With that, David walked in Susan’s direction.

David walked up to Susan and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around and saw David standing behind her. “Hey beautiful, how are you? Do you need a bit of fresh air?” Susan looked up into his twinkling blue eyes. “Sure.” He put his arm around Susan’s waist and led her outside. “What a beautiful night.” “Yes, it is.”

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“Have you lived in Richmond very long?” “Yes, my whole life. Right now, I’m living with my mother. She’s in ill health and needs me.” “Same situation, different city. I don’t have any spare time, and the women in Knoxville just don’t understand.” “It’s the same way here with the men. By the way, have you seen our fountain?” “Fountain? I don’t believe I have.” “Let me show it to you.” “That sounds great, let’s go.”

During the drive up to the fountain, they discovered that they had many things in common. The limo pulled up to the fountain and stopped. David got out and went around to Susan’s door and opened it for her. He held out his hand, helping her step out of the limo. Susan took his hand and led him to the fountain, thinking of how natural it felt to be hand in hand with him.

They gazed out over the city of Richmond, and took in all of the lights. Still hand in hand, they turned to face each other. David placed his finger under Susan’s chin, lifting her face up towards his, and they shared a passionate kiss. When they were ready to leave, the driver took them back to the Club so that Susan could pick up her car. They exchanged e-mail addresses, and promised to keep in touch.

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The following Monday morning, as David walked towards his office, he saw Joan rise from her desk, looking at him nervously. When David approached her, she said, “Mr. Stuart, I have a problem. Can we talk in your office?” David smiled at her and said, “Sure Joan, come on in and have a seat.”

As Joan sat down in the chair across from his desk, David looked down at “The Jokester’s” file, still open on his desk. He rose from his desk, sighed, and looked directly into Joan’s eyes, saying “Joan, the anniversary date in the file is still two months away.”

Joan became even more nervous. “Joan, I know that you are a great professional secretary, so you can relax about the date. I realized that from the beginning. I knew John well enough to know something was up. By the way Joan, Mrs. Stuart will be arriving shortly for a lunch meeting.” “Mrs. Stuart? I thought you mother lived cross country?” questioned Joan. “Not my mother”, said David, “my wife, Susan.”

“By the way, Joan, John may call with the hangover from Hell and not remember much. I loaded down his drink with moonshine.”

Joan howled with laughter as she returned to her office.