My journey to diagnosis

My journey began at the age of eight. My father had become ill and was sent to the hospital. We almost lost him during this time and the diagnosis was diabetes. It seemed quite devastating, even at my young age. I remember how hard my father took it. I had never seen him so emotional over anything. His reaction was so severe that I had to ask my mother if he was going to die from this. I had never heard of diabetes before. I found out that my father had seen many family members die from diabetes because the medicine in those days was not effective enough. So my dad was afraid that his fate was already sealed and that we would need to be very supportive. My mother educated our entire family and there would be no special food for just my father. My mother had the entire family eat what my father had to eat. She became very dedicated to educating us children in the dangers of an improper diet. She realized that this now put us in the direct firing line of a powerful disease. By the age of 12 I could administer insulin shots to my father. I had also learned to drive the car. My mom was afraid that if we left with my father for any innocent outing something could happen and we would need to get help. My dad's diabetes was uncontrollable and we all needed to prepared for any emergency. It was many years, many tears, and unfortunately we lost the battle. My father passed away at the age of 52. He left a devastated wife, 3 children, and two grandchildren. I still miss him so much and right now I feel I need him.
This summer I came down with some awful virus. We've all had them, you know the kind, everything hurts, stomache upset, the whole shebang. One of my children also came down with it. However, in a few days my child was getting better and I was getting worse. I started sleeping more and more. My family didn't know what was wrong. I was sleeping 22 hours a day. I hadn't eaten in 5 days. I remember one night in particular, up sick, I knew then I was dying. It was something I felt from deep inside of me. This was not just a virus anymore. I was sliding into a diabetic coma. Only I didn't know, because I didn't know that I was sick. I had always watched what I ate. I grew up with this disease. I was always very careful. One day when my family had trouble even getting me to wake up they called my mother. Off we went to the doctor. I was so weak I could not walk without assitance. Blood test's confirmed my worse fear. I'm sorry to say,"You have diabetes." I now knew what my father felt that day so long ago. The devastation was so awful. It felt as though I had just received a death sentence. I cried for the first day. I would look at my children and think, I can't leave them. Six months before my diagnosis we had buried another family member. He was 50 years old and he died from complications of his diabetes. At the time of my diagnosis I had just learned that another family member is going blind and that her kidneys are failing. Her control over her diabetes is non-existant and if she doesn't get it back she will be gone in a few years. Well, this has been a journey that I have entered. The side affects of the medication are rough. That is also putting it mildly. My road back has taken months. But, it is amazing. I now know that I have been sick a long time. That the warnings they put out for the symptoms of diabetes doesn't apply to everyone. I never really had any of those symptoms. I had underlying symptoms that are never advertised. It's strange, I feel closer to my father now than I have in a long time. I feel like I carry him with me in spirit stronger now. When I walk, on days I don't think I can finish, I think of him and push a little harder. When my kids offer me food I shouldn't eat, I let them know it's not worth it. That I want eyes to see my first grandchild born someday. I want feet to dance with my son's when they get married. I want life not illness. I have decided that I will be the one in my family who faces this disease. I will fight back and I will stay strong. I want to be there for all of the moments my children will have. I don't want to miss a minute of any of it. I just had my last check up and the doctor is very happy. My diabetes is under excellent control and I remind myself daily why I follow the rules. Why it matters so much. People do not realize how difficult this illness can be. When you go on a diet you can change your mind or stop in a few weeks. We can never stop. We will pay for cheating. It is a challenge to stay motivated in world overrun with food. This is a journey that I am really just beginning. I hope to be around a long time. That is how I found Writing.com. Apparently stress is really bad for me. It affects my blood sugar and I needed to do something just for me. I used to write a long time ago. I have won contests. But, I quit when I started a family and life became so busy. So, my children are all in there teens now and it seemed the right time for me. It has helped me so much. I am very rusty with my skills, but I hope to improve. I won't stop trying. But it has really helped with stress. I look so forward to reading everyone else's work. I am suprised if I get a favorable review and I would like to thank this site for being there. Also, thank you all for reading my story. It's not great literature. Just an honest story from me to you....