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Rated: E · Poetry · Biographical · #1179132
An insight look to why I made excuses for so long
He Loves Me



Why did I hide the tears and why did I hide the pain?
Why did I believe him when he said “It will never happen again”?
Now so much anger and hatred has built up deep inside
Why didn’t I just run from him, why did I choose to stay and hide?

The hurt and pain can damage your soul with such a might
That your whole inner person starts to give up the fight
You become a former shadow of who you were before
If only I had the strength to walk out of that door

The countless one last chance to him I kept on giving
When really my heart no longer wanted to keep on living
I could never forgive nor will I ever forget
But I will not let my life be filled with regret

For he has taught me well throughout our time together
The first was to fear him which no doubt will stay with me forever
But that fear turns to anger then anger turns to hate as time goes bye
And soon you have cried so much that there are no tears left to cry

Each new day only brings more time for him to install a new rule
To be honest I don’t think there were this many rules at school
I am not to do this and I dare not ever do that
To agree that I am only a size eight but of course I am fat

Mind games can only occur while your mind works
But then what happens when the mind starts to break
When nothing seems real, you don’t even know your own name
How can this man think that this is a game?

You start going insane and time starts to stand still
I know now what can drive a “normal” woman to kill
When you know that the reason you feel this inside
Is down to one man you loved so much so that



When you wake up every new morning, wishing you were no longer here
When nothing in the world holds anything that is any longer dear
When breathing and having to live this life doesn’t matter anymore
That’s when I really wish I had walked out and closed that door.



































© Copyright 2006 Emma Collinson (emmacollinson at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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