Chapter 2

The rain had stopped and the sun was beginning to peek out through the pale clouds. There was no wind to rustle the leaves in the Maple trees, nor rain to supply the pitter-pattering beat, and all the world seemed to go quiet. The only sound made was the crunch of Caprice's sandals on the damp sidewalk. She had never been to a therapist before, but she had heard stories. Her friend, Jane, went to a therapist with her family and told Caprice that she had to tell her mom everything about herself that she didn't want her mom to know. Jane was always going to therapists for one reason or another, and now she was well-aquainted with most. A thought struck Caprice, 'what if Jane has already told my shrink all about me?'. After all, you're supposed to tell them everything and Jane wouldn't hold anything back. 'I hope she didn't spill her guts about anything bad, because if she did...' Caprice grew even more nervous with each passing step, and each passing block. Everything around Caprice was gloomy and dull, and a mist covered all of her vision, smoothing it all together.

The vision of a small, one story building came into existence. The walls were greyish cement bricks and the roof was made of black shingles. No architectural beauty at all. It was bland, and scary, and reminded Caprice of a jailhouse. Melencholy took over her mind and soul as she hesitantly climbed the steps up towards the prison.

While she wondered about the horrors that lay ahead of her, she felt herself drifting from her body and the world around her until it was as though the front desk came to her and not the other way around. Once the desk had reached her, Caprice noticed that there was no one sitting behind it. To her discomfort, there wasn't even a bell to ring. She was used to being able to ring a bell and suddenly someone would be there to help. But there was no bell, so Caprice just stood there, bewildered about what to do next.

The room that she was standing in must have been the waiting room, after all, she was, in fact, waiting. The walls were designed to be soothing and neutral, however, it just looked bland like the outside. The colour of paint seemed to be somewhere between beige and grey. There were a few paintings of landscapes hanging on the wall which were all contained by the same thick, black frames. To the left was a couch, if you can call it that. The material of the cushions were some sort of grey tweed with flecks of maroon in it. Each part was divided by an arm rest and the entire couch looked like they had just squished together several single-person chairs. The right side of the room had another set of squished chairs but these had flecks of deep green instead of maroon. There were a few colourful toddler toys on the floor which looked untouched. Those toys were all that made the room bearable. The front desk, which was centered in front of Caprice, was physically separated by a partition from the rest of the room. There was a hole at waist height for giving things like cards to the receptionist and there was also some smaller holes that you could talk through. Caprice hoped that the receptionist was not claustrophobic; that would be a shame.

"Oh, sorry! I didn't know you were here already! Please, come in and follow me this way." A woman with shoulder-length, deep brown, straight hair had popped out from the hallway on the left and, turning away from Caprice, quickly walked back down the hall and disappeared into a room on the left.

Caprice tried to follow and hoped that she wouldn't walk into the wrong room and horribly traumatise anyone. Fortunately, she walked into the right room and it was quite a change from the waiting room. It was just as cold as the waiting room, but the look and style was different and much more lively. These walls were a deep, satin brown and looked soft. There was a light, cucumber-green carpet which was very soft and, right at the opposite wall as the door, was a rather large couch, and this time, it really was a couch. This couch was violet, almost with a hint of magenta and looked like it was covered in suede. Caprice sat on it and tried to look pleasant. The woman stared blankly at her with a look of contentment on her face.

Once Caprice had started to believe that the woman was a statue or possibly imaginary, she spoke.

"Please, sit down and make yourself comfortable. My name is Maria." She was young, most likely in her late twenties or early thirties. Her glasses were stylish and classy as was the rest of her outfit. The one noticeable quirk to her wardrobe was her choice of earrings. There, hanging below her earlobe, were small, bright purple grapes. Caprice noticed that they actually did match the rest of Maria's outfit. There were flecks of purple in her skirt and she wore a purple bracelet.

"I'm Caprice." There wasn't really much to say. Caprice had never seen a therapist and wasn't sure how to react. Maria seemed incredibly perky. She donned a broad smile which displayed her beautifully white and practically perfect teeth. Maria seemed nice enough. Caprice decided to go into her polite, autopilot personality.

Maria asked if Caprice would like something to drink; water or coffee.

"I would love some coffee, thank you." Caprice smiled politely and sat with near-perfect posture. It was a bit of a shame to sit so politely on such a comfortable couch, but in this autopilot personality, enjoying the luxurious couch would be rude, especially when Maria's chair wasn't nearly as comfy-looking.

As Maria was pouring the coffee, she decided to go right into the session. "So, how are you doing lately, Caprice?" Her tone was sympathetic and inquisitive.

"Oh, I'm just fine, how are you?" Caprice replied very politely. Upon rethinking this response, she realised that perhaps that wasn't the right thing to say. Caprice probably was supposed to use that question as an invitation to say anything and everything that was on her mind. After all, Maria was being paid to listen.

Maria was slightly taken aback by this, but nonetheless, answered her question in the same tone. "Well this morning was a bit of a rough start for me. I burnt my toast and was a little bit frustrated this morning, but I'm just fine now." She paused hoping that Caprice would catch on and open up a bit. However, Caprice just sat there looking very uncomfortably polite. "How was your morning?"

This was a second chance for Caprice to prove that she was in fact capable of conversation. The only question that remained, what had she done that morning? As Caprice sat there looking puzzled, Maria interpreted this as fear of telling anyone what had happened that morning. No doubt something terrible happened. Maybe her parents were fighting, maybe her pet had died, but whatever it was, she dared not repeat it.

"Caprice, are you alright?"

"Oh, I'm just fine, thank you." Caprice now remembered what she had done, "Oh! I know! This morning I made myself some scrambled eggs, brushed my teeth, got ready for school and then walked out the door."

Maria thought for a moment. "Did anything...happen this morning? Anything to make you upset?"

"No, I mean I was late for school again, but that's not a big deal." Caprice began to break from her autopilot.

Aha! Maria had found something to talk about. "Why are you always late for school?"

Caprice tried to stifle a laugh, she had pondered that very question earlier that day. "I'm not sure. I guess I just need to wake up earlier, but it just doesn't sem possible. Even with an alarm, I wake up at the same time every day. The only time I don't, is the weekend when I sleep longer." "How many hours of sleep do you usually get?"

"Well, I wake up at 7 o'clock or so, and I usually go to sleep around 11 o'clock, so I get about 8 hours. So, my sleeping pattern seems to be fine. I'm not over sleeping or under sleeping."

"Have you tried going to sleep earlier? Perhaps at 10 rather than 11?"

"Yeah, I've tried it. But it doesn't make sense to do that because it doesn't change when I wake up and it takes away an hour of my time." Caprice was getting a little bored talking about something so irrelevant. Sleep is important, yes, but not in this case. There was so much else they could be talking about, but Caprice wasn't in a hurry to get that far.

"And what is so important that you have to do until 11? Walk me through a typical evening at home." Maria was relieved to be exploring some problems finally.

Caprice thought a bit."Which day of the week? Everything depends on what day it is."

"Really? That busy? Well, we've got time, so start on Monday and work your way to Friday."

Caprice exhaled and then took a large intake of breath, "Monday evenings I get out of class at 2:30 like every day, then work right from then until 6:30. Then I walk home, have dinner, do my homework, usually do something involving student's council, shower and then go to bed. I shower at night because I don't have time in the morning. Tuesday. I stay at school for a rehearsal. I'm directing my own play and I've got a lot of actors who need a lot of work. That goes until about 5, then I run home to eat quickly and then I have rehearsal from 6:30 until 8:30. That's for the school play that I'm in. Every year my high school puts on a play for the elementary kids in the area, it's kind of a big deal and I've done it every year so far. This year I've got a lead role so there's a lot more work. After rehearsal I do homework, and student's council work then go to bed. Okay, Wednesday is just like Monday but replace work with Film Club, and Thursday is just like Tuesday. Friday is like Monday but I have to mop the floors where I work so it takes longer to close up. The weekends I work and do more homework." Caprice was exhausted just thinking about all that work.

"Wow, I don't think I was expecting that much. I'll think twice next time I complain about my job!" She laughed uncomfortably and picked up her glass of water from the desk beside her chair and took a sip. Then a thought floated across her expression. "When is your fun time?"

There was a pause. "I guess that would be my rehearsals."

"Are your days as busy as your evenings?"

"I think so, " Caprice replied, trying to answer the question as best she could," right now I've got a full timetable. Let's see, there's university/college Art, university English, university/college Drama, and university Data Management- that's my second grade 12 math, I took Calculus last year in grade 11. As far as lunch time goes, I've got student's council meetings every Tuesday and choir every Wednesday. I'm usually doing something at lunch though...it's kind of rare for me to be able to sit down and eat like everybody else."

There was a stunned silence. Maria tried to think. "I think it's clear that you've taken on a little too much this year. Sooner or later you are going to crash if you keep this up. Is there any possibility that you can drop one or two of these things? For your own health and sanity." Maria studied Caprice and looked at her with sympathetic eyes. She appeared to really be worried.

Caprice smiled. "Even if I could drop anything, I wouldn't want to. I love everything that I'm doing. I'm missing Film Club to be here. I guess that's considered gone if we continue meeting at the same time. The only other thing I can think of that would be logical to drop is choir, but I love to sing." Caprice went quiet and watched her hands fidgeting with themselves.

"Sometimes we must say goodbye to the things we love."

Maria paused and looked up at the clock. It was time to leave.