Nothing matters anymore…

No matter how hard I always tried I could never fit in,
My heart has always been treated like garbage thrown in a bin,
That's how it is and has always been,
And the only reason I'm alive is because suicide is an unforgivable sin.

I never believed in love before I knew you,
Now I know that the same mistake I'll never do,
Not after, to remain with you, all this shit I had to go through,
Just for you to stab me, just like the others did too.

Was it that easy for you to do this after all these years?
After I opened up my heart to you, to soak me in tears?
Was it that easy to make them become a reality, all my fears?
After I thought you were the one for me, who was always all ears!

It doesn't matter anymore now, does it?
I wonder if you ever cared even if just a tiny bit!
Or was I just another girl who, into your profile, did fit?
Whatever it was, I don't care anymore, I don't give a shit!

I was always cautious and fought against my heart,
Because it's always been vulnerable and so easy to fall apart,
And I don't even know how you got in and became a huge part,
I can't even remember how all this, did start.

My better judgement proved me terribly wrong,
And it's funny how I've been deceived for so long,
How I've been made a fool of all along,
And it's surprising that I'm still here standing strong.

Maybe I was blinded because it's the first time, in love, I fell,
But then now I'm immuned completely to this spell,
Not ever again am I going to put myself through such hell,
I'm better off on my own and will be better than well!