A Moment Frozen In Time

There is a moment in time when everything stands still, and
usally you feel you are the only person left in the world. You are
the only person who is right when everyone is wrong, and never
heard because people want to believe in fantasy and not worry
about the inevitable. You are the great mentor needed in a
crises, but not once do your own friends let you vent your own
frustrations. Wouldn't it be nice to forget everyone else, and
consider yourself for a change? Good luck on that. I will be
standing here beneath the oak tree, waiting for you to come to
your senses. Memorable times, my friend, can run away just like
you ran away. Can you remember the day when we became
inseperable?
The day had been radiently warm, if I recall correctly. The
sky was as clear as your eyes, and friends had been talking to
one another as they strolled along the park. Let's see, I think
I was wearing blue jeans and one of my favorite red shirts along
with the most comfortable pair of Converse ever. I can't quite
recall how my hair was, that was such along time ago. I was
walking backwards, talking to my friends about dream guys that
we would like to meet someday. Tye had just asked me what guy
in school I liked. Well, I don't think I ever answered her question
because you had run into me while roller blading.
It's just my luck, really, your running into me like that. The
result of that clumsy day was a broken wrist, and a high-priced
hospital bill. Who cares though? Anyone would like to get
"knocked off their feet" on their first impression of a guy. Only
problem with me is that it literally happend, but it was the best
few weeks in my life. Time and again, I look back to those few
weeks and just think, "Why couldn't life be so wonderful all the
time?"
I recieved so many flowers from friends after my wrist was
broken, but I kept the wild flowers you sent and book-pressed
them. Don't get me wrong here, I adore roses and such, but
wild flowers have always been my passion. The pale blue wild
flowers are pressed in my poetry book; the poppies are pressed
in my scrap book, and the daisies reside comfortably in my
scriptures. I just remember how worried you were, and you
kept appologzing profusly. Although, I didn't realize how fake
the apologies were, and I wish I had. Would have saved me all
the heartache after. It's too late now to be worried about it, but
the hopes I had hoped for had been crushed. Sweet discussions
and thoughtful consideration went down the drain after that
night.
Crickets sang their songs, owls humed their tunes, and the
outdoor lights could never compare to the beauty of the stars.
The night had spun away as couples danced in magical realms,
and in never-ending dreams and fantasies. Always, I have
wondered if I had been dressed differently would things have
been better. Instead of wearing a jade dress that matched my
eyes, perhaps I should have worn scarlet, to bring out the
complection and the splatter of freckles across my nose. Maybe
I needed to be a different person, instead of being my normal
clumsy self. Perhaps I should have been more forth right. My
friend, I will never know.
I still see the image imprinted in my mind. The lustrous
Emily and you, I mean. I don't think I shall ever forget that
sight, seeing the shock on your face, seeing embers flare in your
eyes, and glimpsing sorrrow lurking inside, as you walked
towards me. All I could do, my friend, was to stand in shock
as you began speaking-
speaking words that sounded foreign because I couldn't
comprehend your sorry excuses. I can't began to describe the
pain and desire to turn and run away from you. I stood there like
an idiot, listening to your voice as tears leaked from my eyes.
All my years of high school were spent in dreamless fantasy, and
yet, I was living in a nightmare. Now you are gone.
I had sped down the highway, to return to the safe haven
of my room. That was the most I cried in quite a few years, my
friend. As the sun rose and kissed the windows of my room, I
simply watched the sunrise. My dress was ruined, my hair
tangled, and mascara ran down my face. The ability to change
into something comfortable never reached my mind, all I could
think about was you. I crawled to bed and fell into a fit full
slumber, and only awakened when Tye called me. She told me
about the wreck...the paramedics finding your body...the
picture she painted; it was horrible. It took me many weeks to
revive enough to go back to college, and study harder as my
grades had gone down. I still miss you, my love. And yet, I am
fullfilling my dream. I am the author I told you I was going to become.
This moment, hasn't moved in three years. Flashbacks
continue to haunt my dreams, or perhaps you haunt the dream
world. Stealing into my mind, letting me see you, then as I
reach out, you vanish. My sense of right and wrong has turned
to pointless ramblings of the insane. I believe I am correct,
although I see the pity in Tye's eyes as I continue to speak of
you. She belive me daft my friend, daft!.
Oh, how wrong she is; you, my friend, you are an
addiction never to run away from my veins. Countless people
tried to get me on prescriptions, yet I refused to take their
drugs. I am smart; I know what they want to do. They want a
wasted shell, so they won't hear what I have to say. Mentors
can't help me; I am myself. Nothing is wrong. Sweet
memories; nightmares I would rather forget, and undying love
for you will continue to grow as time passes on.