CONFUSED

Pain inside my heart, drowning into my soul,
Seeping to my depth, making an even larger hole,
Each day that passes, gets harder on this poor heart,
Broken to a million pieces, trying so hard, to fix these parts.

Every time I think this wound has stopped bleeding inside,
It just bleeds even more, I feel so lost with no one to guide,
No one to guide me through, this sorrow and pain,
Searching for anyone, on whom, I can put the blame.

Anyone to scream at, and lay my frustrations on,
Even if that person has done nothing wrong,
How am I to live a life, when I'm clueless on what life's all about?
How am I to survive, when every time I turn there's some other doubt?

What have I done wrong, for the world to be against me?
What is my heart blinded with hatred that I can hardly see?
I can't make out right from wrong like I used to before,
I'm lost, and don't know what to do anymore.

I'll never understand what it is, that made me believe in love again,
After going through hell, I don’t know how, where or when?
How it happened, so accidentally, so unexpectedly, so unconsciously?
When did it happen, why was I so blind that I couldn’t see?

I never wanted to trust anyone like I used to before,
To be stabbed in my heart and left to bleed from my very core,
Every breath hurts, more than the scars in my depth,
I'll never understand where, that small part of compassion inside of me, I still had left.

Am I being selfish if I ask you to confide in me?
Is it rude if whenever you refuse to, I get angry?
Because if it is, then I'm selfish, rude and a whole lot more,
I care too much, that even my happiness doesn't matter anymore.

Maybe you didn't notice, what I've become since you came into my life,
Maybe you didn't notice, that it's you I need to survive,
You are the source of my strength, a reason to be strong,
You are the light in my dark life, that’s made my journey worth it, all along.

Baby, I love you, no matter what you do or say,
But it gets hard on me, sometimes, and I hate living this way,
Every time things work out so perfectly, something has to go wrong,
Something just has to happen to keep us apart, sometimes for long.

I used to think that it was always me, but now I realize that isn’t the case,
It turns out that you are no different, always the first to race,
Though I may turn away sometimes, I always speak what's on my mind,
Why can't you do the same, in your heart some trust for me why can't I find?

Why is that I always have to spill my guts out?
And whenever I ask what's bugging, you refuse to talk about,
Do I deserve this kind treatment just because I'm concerned and care?
Do you think that treating me this way, is by any how, fair?

I've given you my heart and soul unconditionally in a heart beat,
You're the only one, who had the patience to find a way through this deceit,
And entered my heart without a trace and found your way deep within,
You stole my heart, and ever since my heart and soul you did win.

Whenever I think of how it all began, it seems like a fantasy,
Everything seemed so plain and so easy,
That’s how it felt like some kind of childish crush,
That sooner or later I'd be able, off, to brush.

But then on the contrary, it grew into infatuation then lust,
And then inevitably this stage to reach, was a must,
My heart melted, no longer did I fear falling in love with you,
You made loving you so easy, knowing that you loved me too.

Like kids growing up we started off, to reach where we are now,
How we grew so fast to reach where we are leaves me saying wow,
Who would've thought that we'd still be together after all we've been through?
I cud go thru all the hells in this world just knowing that in the end I'll find you.

Now look at me deprived of the one person I need,
Just the thought that you could doubt me makes my heart bleed,
How can you even think that I could do something to hurt you this way?
When it means I'm hurting myself, when you are a part of me what more can I say?

In my defense all I can say is that I love you more than words can tell,
I'm sorry if I ever caused you any pain when I never meant to, I'd rather burn in hell
I love you more than life itself and everything in it,
I'd trade my whole world for you, in less than a minute,
That's how much I love you and even more,
And with each day that passes, I love you more than before...