The Cat's Meow

Chapter 1

Filene rolled up her eyes at her friend as the so called witch concocted the love potion that Janice paid $50 for. Was she insane? Letting Janice drag her to the home of the obviously deranged stranger and worse convincing her that she could make a love potion that would actually work. They had to get out of there.

"I'm sorry, Janice we're late for 'that thing' we have to do remember?"

Janice fixed Filene with her famous blank stare before opening her mouth to utter her protest, but the self proclaimed witch beat her to the punch.

"I see your friend doesn't believe in the power of magic"?

Apologetically, Janice defended Filene. "She's just a bit skeptical, but she won't be after sees how the potion works for me. Right Filene? Filene tries not to laugh at the panicked Janice who had widened her eyes, secretly hoping that her always practical friend will simply go along with the script.

"That's ridiculous. No offense, but if magic were that real, you'd be a very wealthy woman because I can think of a few magic spells people would give their right arm to have. A love potion? Yeah right how about a potion for weatlh, to cure illness. Need I go on?"

The older woman peered at Filene over the top of her reading glasses and smiled. There was no friendliness in the smile, in fact it creeped her out.

"Magic only works for the open minded. You have to believe in it's power for it to work. Your friend here is likely to have great success with my potion because she is a believer."

Janice smiled as if she'd been given the compliment of a lifetime. What was so grande about being a believer. If she believed in Love, she wouldn't need a silly potion. How pathetic that she and Janice, two love starved women would finally succumb to this. Unlucky in love and somehow saved by a magic potion? Not likely.

Filene decided to turn her attention instead to the brownies on the table. Brown, moist and succulently inviting. After the first one, she had to admit they were absolutely delicious and unashamedly devoured two more. Janice took an interest in them and was about to reach for one....

"No my dear" The old woman took the brownie from Janice. "You should not eat these or any chocolate products. It will diminish the power of the potion." Filene laughed. "Don't know what your missing Janice. Lady, if you make your potions like you make these brownies, you might actually have stumbled onto something". She hadn't meant to sound so mocking, in fact she meant it as a compliment. The old woman was not amused.

An hour later, Janice and Filene were finally on their way to have lunch, Janice with her potion in tow. She was bubbling with joy, better, she was absolutely glowing at the prospect of putting her potion to use. Filene on the other hand was feeling the complete opposite probably the result of too many brownies. Her friend's sudden change in parlor did not go unnoticed by Janice.

"Are you okay?"

Filene stopped walking and reached her hand out to grab on to anything that would support her weight. "No. I think I'd better go home. I'm feeling really dizzy. I shouldn't have eaten so many brownies."

"Okay well, let's get to the car, I'll drive you home. Do you think you need a doctor?

"No. I probably just have to take some antacid and lay down. I'll be fine....

Sleep did not come easy. The old woman seemed to invade her dreams. At one point she could have sworn the woman was in her apartment. That was impossible of course, the woman did not know where she lived. Still, she couldn't get over the idea that she was being carried away to someplace.

Her eyes would not open. There was a flurry of sounds all around her. People, animals, running sounds. She tried to open her eyes again, but she couldn't. It was as if she were being sedated. Finally, a soft re-assuring voice came to her.

Poor girl. You had a close call. Don't worry, we're going to take good care of you. When you wake up you'll be good as new.

So that was it. Somehow she'd gotten sick and ended up in the hospital. Funny how she couldn't remember anything after she went to sleep. It didn't matter, she was safe. The sedative were the reason her eyes were heavy. Damn old woman, she probably poisoned her with the brownies. If she's in a good mood when she's released, maybe she won't sue the old bat.

Hours passed before Filene could finally open her eyes. She was feeling tons better, in fact, she was actually pretty hungry. It was pretty dark in the room and it took her a few moments to focus on her surrounding. Through the darkness she seemed to be able to see everything pretty clearly. The first thing that caught her attention were a set of yellow eyes staring down at her. Smiling, she wondered how on earth a cat could have made it's way into the hospital.

"Hey you. What are you doing here?"

"Calm down honey. They'll be here in about five minutes. It's almost feeding time".

Did that cat just speak to her? Her inner voice began to speak to her, telling her she needed to hold it together. She wasn't crazy, just suffering from the effects of the sedatives.

She turned her head as she began to hear other voices.

"I'm hungry", "I want my mate", "where are my kittens".

Filene's heart began to beat widly as she willed herself to stand. Her first realization was that she was in a cage.... And then she yelled.

"I can't be a CAT!

The black cat with the yellow eyes slowly walked up to Filene; licking her face, he chuckled into her ear."

"I can think of worse things that can happen to you".....


Chapter 2

“Don’t Panic.” Her mind is trying it’s best to calm the thumping of her heart and the nauseous feeling that threatens to empty the non-existent contents of her stomach. There was no time to think about how she had become a cat. There were more pressing issues at hand, like the obviously horny cat looking at her and licking himself. Very slowly she looked down at her paws. White paws with a healthy set of claws.

“I have to find a way out of this nightmare”.

“Food’s here”! The other cats sang in unison as the door to the room opened and two young girls bounded inside with smiles and the delicious smell of cat food. Delicious? Filene had to stop a moment. Since when had she thought cat food delicious? It was no time to be picky. She was hungry and she’d need her strength to get out of that cage. Besides, it actually smelled quite good.

“Hey Snowflake. You’re looking much better. Lucky cat you. You were lucky to be rescued from that burning apartment. Yes you are”.

Filene was going to hurl. How many times had she been guilty of talking to an animal as if they could actually understand what the heck was being said. But she knew better now. Yes, they really can understand. It still sounded ridiculous coming from the girl though.

“Help me”. For the first time, Filene could hear that her speech was actually a cat’s meow.

“Oh, you hungry pretty girl? There you are, eat up”.

And she did. She tore into that food like it was her last supper. Burp. Even she had to laugh at the sound of her belch.

“That good huh?” The dark cat with the yellow eyes was looking at her again.

“What’s your name?” He looked pretty dangerous and she needed a distraction.

“Milo.” At least that’s what the family I lived with used to call me.” Don’t get used your name, you get a new one every time someone new takes you in.”

“How long have you been here? “ Everyone knows that cats that don’t get adopted get euthanized. She needed to know how much time was needed to form a plan. Euthanasia was not on her wish list of things to experience.

“ Just a few days. Say, you really are very pretty.” Milo moved closer, lowering his head as he approached.

Filene began to back up instinctively, then stopped to hold her ground. Male cats aren’t supposed to be able to “do it”. They get fixed don’t they?

“Hey Milo. Whatcha up to. You’ve been here a few days, surely they already fixed it so you can’t make any litters.” She celebrated her victory as she watched the stunned Milo stop his approach. The victory was short lived….

“Actually, they don’t do that until after the adoption. So the hardware still works. Wanna see?”

“Milo, I’m not what you think. I’m human. I don’t know how I became a cat, but I need your help to get out of here. So get your hormones under control or I’ll carve your eyes out of your head!”.

There was a small hope that Milo would have understood enough to stop his approach, but he didn’t….


Filene curled up in the corner, contemplating how she would get out of this mess. Without notice, she began to lick her fur clean. She was vaguely aware that Milo watched her from his corner. The human part of her brain tried to will her to stop, but the motion was very soothing and she needed something to do.

“That’s an unusually way to lick your coat. You’re doing it wrong. Long strokes get the coat clean and give it shine. Short strokes only wet the coat. You only do that when you are licking wounds…like mine”.

She thanked him as she laughed. The laughter was even strange to her ears.

“Cats don’t laugh”. Milo looked at her with more interest. Not like before, there was a different curiousity now.

“I told you before, I’m not a cat.”

“Well that doesn’t much matter. You look like one and if you’re not adopted in seven days, you’ll get the needle.

That would be her only way out and back into civilization. She had to do everything in her power to get adopted.

Some of the cats in the other cages gave her words of encouragement.

“Don’t worry honey, you’ll do great. Nice long white fur, pretty blue-green eyes. The humans love fancy cats. They like to dress you up in fancy collars and stuff.”

“Yeah. Thanks to her, one of us might not get adopted. I’ve been here six days. I don’t get adopted tomorrow it’s over for me.”

“Five days in and counting”…
Morning didn’t come quickly enough. After breakfast, Filene practiced some of the tips that the other cats had given her the other night. Licking her fur clean, she began to practice her approach. It’s all in the walk. That’s what the others had said. Walk slowly, head up. Meow softly, blink when making direct eye contact. Flirt.

Two of the shelter attendants came in to clean the cages. One of the male attendants picked Filene up and fluffed her fur. “There, now you look like royalty”.

It was a long day. As the people came in, Filene could not bring herself to “flirt” with any of them. Most were kids interested in a play pet. She wasn’t interested in becoming someone’s toy. The kids and their parents mostly went for the younger cats anyway and didn’t really pay much attention to her.

Convinced that she would probably not be getting adopted, Filene walked to the back of the cage to curl up for a nap, when she heard a deep male laughter. Something about his laughter roused her curiousity and she quickly made her way back to the front of the cage where the other cats were eagerly vying for attention.

The tall stranger was being pulled by another woman into the room. Filene couldn’t explain her interest in him, but her instincts told her that this was her chance to get out of her jail. She needed to get his attention.

“Brad, you know you want to do this. Adopt a nice cat to greet you when you come home from work, help you get over that witch that dumped you.”

“Monica, I like dogs. I’m not a cat lover.

“Yeah, but dogs are high maintenance. Cats you just feed and they take care of the rest themselves. Plus they are cuddly and sexy in a guy’s apartment.”

Filene was almost to the class as he bent down to look at the other cats when she felt a sharp pain in her back.

“Oh no you don’t fancy cat, you just got here. I need to get out of here or I’m toast.”

The cat digging her claws into Filene’s back was a grey short haired cat. She had already been in the shelter six days. Filene couldn’t think about that right now though, only one thing mattered and that was getting back into the world. If she could get out of the shelter, she would find a way to contact Stephanie for help. How that would happen she had no clue, but that was a plan for another day.

Filene turned and with one quick swipe at the grey cat’s ear, was able to get from under her grasp and move toward the front of the glass cage. As the stranger looked into the glass, Filene dipped her head forward and licking the glass, looked him dead on and blinked.

He smiled and pointed at the window. “Can I see that white cat?”

She was as good as home.