These Boots Were Made For Running

I am sitting here listening to sad songs and thinking about when I was in PTRP(Physical Therapy Rehabilitation Program) in Fort Jackson,SC. To come from BCT(Basic Combat Training) to Crutch Bay(only people with crutches slept there) was very hard for me to accept. In training, I broke my hip. I can't explain how but, I was just running when I felt a pop. It hurt a lot but, I have a high tolerance for pain or I just have a high level of determination. It's probably the latter. Anyway, I didn't complain about it...until my DS(Drill Sergeant) told me to go to Sick Call(Doctor's Office). I told him no but he forced me to. I still didn't do as told. I went but I came right back. I was so mad! I remember feeling like I was a failure, an outcast. Well, in week six of nine weeks, my unit did a march with full gear. This particular march was 6 miles long up and down huge hills. Well, I made it without assistance(other than GOD). I was crying for the last mile because of the pain. At the very last hill, which was less than 1/4 of a mile to go, a DS made me get onto the cattle truck. I was so mad and hurt. She explained to me that if I had tried to go up that hill at that angle, I wouldn't be walking again. I thought she was a liar. Well, that morning the First Sergeant made me go to Sick Call. As soon as I went, before I was even checked I was forced to get crutches. Then and only then would that doctor even talk to me about my injury. He said he could see that I was very determined not to show my pain but, he knew I was in a great deal of pain. Me personally, I didn't think that I needed crutches. I could handle it! Well, one week later, I was saying my good-byes to my family for seven weeks of training. I never got the chance to say good-bye to my friends and people I had known for that time. Most of the DS's thanked ME for being a good soldier. They told me that it was a pleasure working with me and that I should come back to see them once I was better. I won't lie, I cried. I cried like a baby. Well, I didn't realize that they were real people. Maybe because of the way the DSs were training us... When I got to PTRP, I tried to be positive but I wouldn't let go of my DS. He was like my dad. I know that's strange but he was very caring. My grandmother had died right before Thanksgiving and he had sent me home because of that. The First Sergeant too! Both of them were really good to me. Anyway, I was forced to go into PTRP, into Crutch Bay. I had gotten there before dinner chow. Needless to say, I didn't eat. After that day, I starved myself for awhile. I lost about ten pounds. I just couldn't eat! I was depressed and angry and hurt and...... To be honest, I wanted out. Any way that I could get out, I would have taken it. Even if it meant killing myself. Now, I never tried but dammit I thought about it. I held onto my character and it paid off after awhile. I had never felt so empty and so low. I was all alone. I had no one to talk to, no one to write to, not one single person who would listen...until Alvarez. That girl,whether she knew it or not is one of the reasons I'm still in the military. She had her own problems but she was never too selfish or too occupied to listen to mine. Susan Alvarez, THANK YOU!(Some other people,very important people helped me too. I just didn't want to write a list of names.) After the first month, the hardest month, I found a sense of normality. I just wanted to move on and get out of that depressing place. I started building my body back up to standard(I was way below standard), I started eating right. I started fresh with physical therapy and exercise. I was determined. I won't begin to repeat the evil things some of those people(females mostly) said to me. They were heartless! I was cool though, I took everything in and blew it right back out. I knew my mama raised me better than that. Each time we went to chow, someone had to carry my tray for me so, I would get as less as possible. I didn't want to be anybody's burden. I think that was one of my biggest motivations. I did not want any of those people to think I needed them. I needed no one! I just couldn't wait to laugh in their faces. By the way, I was forced to go to PTRP on Jan 15, 2004. So, like I said, I was getting healthier and stronger. At last! CPT(Captain) P. allowed me to walk without my crutches! I was so excited but scared. I didn't know what to do without my crutches. Although the pain wasn't there anymore, I had been without doing exercise for so long that it was really hard on me to start over. Well, I made it. I had finally gotten to a point where I said to myself that I wasn't staying any more than 3 months from the time I got there to the time I left. It was hard, I mean I struggled for that to happen but I knew it had to. On April 12, I passed my APFT(Army Physical Fitness Test). I didn't get a medal but I did darn wellfor a person who had only ran three times before. I had to do at least 19 pushups in 2 minutes, 58 sit ups in 2 minutes, and a 2 mile run in 19:42. I don't remember my run time exactly but it was 17:08 I think. My pushups:38, my sit ups 80. To max the APFT, I would have done 42 pushups, 78 situps, and my run time would have been 16:36. I did very well, if I do say so myself. On April 14, I graduated and received a certificate of award from PTRP. On April 15, exactly 3 months from the time I stepped foot into PTRP, I was leaving it all behind. It struck me at that precise moment, I didn't want to go. That was a place I called my home for 3 whole months. That was not to be taken lightly. I still to this day, miss that place. Even though I graduated with honors from my training, I still look back and miss that particular place. How amazing!