Adjusted to vs. Tolerant of

“This above all: To thine own self be true” William Shakespeare

Twice a month I meet for 1½ hours with a group of people from all walks of life; various religions and cultures. We meet to have “Heartfelt Conversations” about life, how we live it, and how we perceive our journeys. This week one of the members brought up the word “tolerate” as a topic and quite an engaging discussion ensued. I love the following distinction “adjusted to vs. tolerated” (from “The Distinctionary” 1997 Coach U)”

adjusted to vs. tolerated
Because the world is constantly changing, humans need to adjust to new situations, problems and opportunities, some of which may be uncomfortable because they call for growth and change. To tolerate means to compromise one’s values, boundaries, and standards for some linear reason. Eventually tolerations build up and the person shuts down or explodes. Briefly adjusted to is a choice; tolerations are a reaction.

In April, I left my career in the technical realm to navigate the waters of Professional Life Coaching, writing and speaking. For at least five years previous to my leaving, I tolerated, at best, the monotony of doing the same tasks day in and day out. I tolerated the way that the owners of the company chose to run the company. I tolerated the never changing routine of keeping the clients happy in ways that I did not agree. I tolerated having just enough authority to make decisions that could earn the company money; but not enough to earn myself the money. You could say that all the tolerating I was doing was quickly bronzing me into a bona fide “victim”!

In time I learned to adjust my thinking so that I could understand why I chose to remain in a job that suppressed my spirit. I understood that the job paid me well so that my husband and I could afford to live comfortably. Furthermore, although I was not able to negotiate an increase in pay for myself via money, I was able to negotiate having my Coaching schooling paid for by the company. In time, I adjusted my tolerated victim perception to understanding that I was remaining at my job by choice until such a time that I could leave and pursue a career more befitting.

I appreciate the awareness of the world continually changing and that there is a necessity for humans to adjust to new situations, problems and opportunities; especially those that may be uncomfortable for us because they call for us to grow and change. The question I want to ask of you today is, “What are you tolerating in your life today that with a few adjustments to your perception, thinking and actions—could lead you to growth and change?”