A Single Tear

A Single Tear

Anne stood silently on the porch watching the sun rise over the horizon, but not really watching, she was waiting, waiting to hear from someone that he was alright. But never knowing. She heard the sound of merry rollicking whistling and she looked to see Pacifique Buote coming up the road. Her strengh failed her at that moment when she realized that Pacifique would know whether or not he had made it through the night. She made three futile attempts to call out to him, as he was about to pass she finally succeeded.

"Pacifique!"

Pacifique turned at the sound of her voice, spotting her he stopped.

"Did you come from George Fletcher's this morning!" She asked hurriedly, her voice a pitch higher then normal.

"Sure," said Pacifique "I got de word las' night dat my fader, he was seeck. It was so stormy dat I couldn't go den, so I start vair early dis mornin'. I'm goin' troo de woods for short cut."

"Did you hear how Gilbert Blythe was doing?"

Anne's desperation drove her to the question. Even the worst would be more endurable than this hideous suspense.

"Ya, he's not doin' to good. They a'said he won' be here by eve'nen. He's a'failing fast." he said.

"Thank you, Pacifique." Anne whispered, not even sure he had heard her, he resumed his walk and whistling.

She clung to the post she was standing next to, shock rippling through her. Gilbert dying! Anne couldn't believe it, of course the thought had crossed her mind last night. It would cross anyone's mind at a time like this, but the reality hadn't sunk in until that moment. A whirl of emotions threatened to drown her, but through it all the most pressing one came through: Tell him. She started running down the road in the direction of the Blythe house as fast as her legs would carry her. She had to tell him, he had to know how she felt, what she felt. He had to know that she couldn't live without him, that she loved him.

When she got to the Blythe's house she ran to the door and knocked furiously, Mrs. Blythe answered but Anne didn't stop. She flew past her up the stairs to Gilbert's room and stopped abruptly at the door. Taking a deep breath she opened the door slowly. Gilbert rested on the bed, pale as the pillow he lay on, eyes sunk into his head. Anne slowly walked over to his bed and sat down at his side.

"Gilbert, can you hear me?" she asked quietly.

"Gilbert, please answer me, please," Anne said, tears slowly running down her cheeks. "I came to tell you something, Gilbert, I came to tell you that. . .that I love you, I love you with all my heart." A bitter little laugh erupted through her tears. "Oh, Gilbert, don't you see, you are my heart and I can't live without you. Just as much as I can't live without my heart. I'm so sorry I didn't realize it sooner, I was so blind, and such a fool. But you have to fight this, fight it for me Gilbert, for us. I know I don't deserve you after what I've done, but I love you, and I need you. Gilbert!"

Tears were streaming down her face, her head buried in his shoulder. "Oh, Gilbert, Gilbert, you need to fight this, you have to fight this!"

Anne heard a faint sound from his lips, she couldn't make out his words. She sat up and and looked at his face, slowly he opened his eyes.

"What. What did you say?" she asked.

"Anne?" Gilbert whispered.

"What is it?"

"I'm glad . . . you came. I didn't want to go . . . without seeing you . . .again."

"No, Gilbert, you can't give up, you can't."

"Anne, I'm not giving up, I just know it's my time," he said.

"No," Anne moaned. "no, Gilbert please don't say that."

"It's alright, I'll be fine. Now that I know how you feel, I'll be just fine." Gilbert whispered. "And so will you Anne, so will you." He lapsed into unconsciousness.

"No, Gilbert I won't be fine without you. I know I won't." Anne whispered taking his hand and pressing it to her lips. She then silently got to her knees still holding on to Gilbert's hand.

"God, please, please, don't let him die." Anne shuddered at the very thought. "You know I can't live without him, you know that!" Anne sobbed. "Please, I. . .I never even got to hold him. Yes, I know I can hold him now but he wouldn't hold me back. . .he. . .he wouldn't hold me back, God." She broke into horrible sobs. "Please, God don't let him die. . .Oh, please God."

She fell asleep in that position, holding on to Gilbert's hand. Her dreams were full of him, of the times gone by, of the times she hoped would come. One dream was in a place Anne had never seen before, it was a meadow full of wild flowers, she was surrounded by mountains and in the distance she could see a figure walking towards her and as the figure drew nearer she saw a smile on his face and a single tear in his eye--.

Anne awoke from her sleep when she felt Gilbert's hand slip out of hers, she quickly stood up.

"Gilbert, how are you feeling? Are you alright?" asked Anne. "Do you want me to get you some water?"

Gilbert shook his head so she sat down beside him and put her hand on his forehead, he was still burning with fever. She silently moved her hand away, tears threatening to fall.

"Anne," Gilbert said huskily. "don't be unhappy because I'm dying. I'll be in a better place. Stay happy and don't forget to laugh, I always loved your laughter. It made everyone around you brighten."

Suddenly Anne felt the tears that she had been holding back fall. "No, Gilbert, no, you can't, you can't go. I won't let you." She cried. "Please don't leave me, Gilbert, please don't."

Gilbert lifted his hand to her face and wiped away her tears. "I love you, Anne." His eyes closed, his hand dropped.

Anne leaned down her face hovering just inches from his, her hair fell loose around them. "I love you too, Gilbert." She kissed him softly, a feathers caress, but as her lips met his she knew he was gone.

* * * *

The funeral was beautiful, Mrs. Blythe had made sure that they had all of Gilbert's favorite flowers, and they were everywhere. Anne would have been impressed by their beauty at any other time, but not now. She didn't tell anyone about the night Gilbert died, only the fact that she had been with him at the time. Mrs. Blythe was thankful for that, the thougt that he might have been alone when he died. Scared and alone, with nobody to comfort him, would have made Mrs. Blythe inconsolable. The doctor had assured her that he had died peacefully.

Anne had tried to be strong and help the Blythe's but she just couldn't. She felt like she was locked up in a cage full of greif and sorrow and there was no way out. She tried to hide her pain from the others but those who were close to her could not miss it. Diana would try to get Anne to talk to her, but it was of no use. She could not even tell Diana, her closes friend, of how she felt. Marilla and Mrs. Lynde grew very worried about her. She had not slept in three days and had only eaten the food that Marilla practically had to shove down her throat, her skin was white as paper.

"I didn't think she would take it this hard." said Marilla when they came to church the day of the funeral.

"I didn't either." said Mrs. Lynde. "of course she and Gilbert were close but this is just not like her. She wasn't like this when Matthew died, and she was real close to Matthew."

"Yes, they were close, weren't they." said Marilla with a sigh.

Anne had wanted to get up and say a few words for Gilbert but she just could not do it, but she did go to the funeral though she had almost decided not to. Mr. Blythe had stood to say goodbye to his son, but Anne wasn't really lisening. Anne didn't know what she was going to do without Gilbert, it was hard enough to face the fact that he was gone, but to face the fact that he wasn't coming back was unbearable.

When the funeral ended everyone stood up and waited their turn to say goodbye to the body of Gilbert Blythe. When it came Anne's turn she walked slowly to the coffin in which he lay, and as she looked down at his still face a single tear fell from her cheek and onto his, making it seem as if he had been crying as well.

"I'll be happy again Gilbert, someday I'll be happy." She silently leaned down and kissed the tear away. It was the last tear she ever let fall.

* * * *

Anne mourned the rest of her life for Gilbert's death and every weekend she would go to his grave and put fresh flowers on it and sit and talk with him as if he were really there. Most thought her crazy for doing so and said she was 'Wrong in the head.' But Anne knew Gilbert wasn't there and that he wouldn't talk back but that wouldn't stop him from listening.

She never married, though she went on a few dates just to please Diana, but she couldn't give anyone her heart, even if she had tried. Her heart was buried six-feet-under, with the man she loved.

Anne spent most of her life helping orphanages in anyway she could. She became a teacher in Kingston two years after Gilbert's death and found herself laughing again. But it wasn't her old laugh that was filled with joy and a zest for life. That laugh had gone along with Gilbert. She moved back to Avonlea when she got word that Marilla's health was failing and again started teaching there.

Marilla died at the age of eight-three and left everything to Anne. With the little money Marilla had left her and her teaching funds Anne saved up enough to put a morgage on a small building in Avonlea and made it up as an orphanage which she called House o' Dreams Orphanage.

Anne died in her sleep at the age of sixty-two.

* * * *

She found herself young again, in a meadow full of wild flowers, she was surrounded by mountains and in the distance there was a figure walking toward her. She stared in disbelief as the figure drew near. "Gilbert!" she cried as he caught her in his arms, she looked up and there was a smile on his face and a single tear in his eye.