Zorphlorg and the Moose Giant

One day in the magical land of Silphor the king of Silphor was walking through the magical forest. “Wow, this hot weather is cold!” he thought to himself.
All of a sudden a strange voice shouted “Mehehehehehehe!”
“What was that strange noise mixed with this hot cold weather?” He said to himself. The king always liked talking to himself, odd as it was it is a good aid in exercising his brain.
“I am the Moose Giant, hear me roar!” said the voice again as a huge moose jumped out from behind a very large cluster of trees. “Mehehehehehehe!” he roared once more.
“Wait, are you a moose, or a moose giant?” the king said to the moose, “or perhaps both!”
The moose shouted at the king “That does not matter now! Prepare for you kingdom to be ruled by the Mighty Moose Kingdom!” Then he grabbed the king by the foot and threw him straight back to the castle.

The king was in great distress, how will he ever defeat such a menacing foe? “Hovstad!” The king yelled calling for his Wiseman, “I need your advice.”
“Sigh, what now king?” Hovstad responded.
“What do you think of this new cape? Isn’t it just riveting!?”
“Honestly! I don’t even get paid to do this, do you really think that I enjoy being your advisor, I quit!”
“What’s wrong with that guy?” the king asked one of his guards? Suddenly the king got an Idea! “I will call upon the best warrior in the land, Zorphlorg, he will know what to do!” The king decided to contact Zorphlorg with a letter…

Dear Zorphlorg, aka the slayer of cows, aka The Elbow of Ragnaros,
I am writing to you with a very important request! My kingdom is being threatened by a very dangerous and powerful force known as the Mighty Moose Kingdom. We are in desperate need of your services and will give you many gifts. Please bring warm mittens if you come, it’s starting to get a little chilly with the autumn coming on. Also the castle needs more of those cookies you make. Please meet me in the forest by the old spruce.
P.S. Warm mittens. From,
His highness the king

As Zorphlorg was sitting down for his afternoon tea his slave came with the mail
“Hear yah go sir!” he squawked,
“Ah, thank you Grufkin.” He spoke as he swished his long maroon locks in the air. “Dear Zorphlorg, aka the slayer of cows, aka The Elbow of Ragnaros? I am writing to you with a very important request!? My kingdom is being threatened by a very dangerous and powerful force known as the Mighty Moose Kingdom!? We are in desperate need of your services and will give you many gifts!? Please bring warm mittens if you come, it’s starting to get a little chilly with the autumn coming on!? Also the castle needs more of those cookies you make!? Please meet me in the forest by the old spruce!? P.S. Warm mittens!? I haven’t fed my kitty yet! Poor Mittens is probably starving! Oh and Grufkin, pack my bags, we have a very short journey ahead of us.” He said, once more taking the time to swoosh his long maroon locks.
Grufking squawked once more "Yes sir!"

The next day the king was sitting in the forest waiting for Zorplorg when suddenly he showed up “Hello king!” Zorphlorg spoke.
The king spoke “Hello Zorphlorg, seen any good movies lately?
“Ah, a moose is eating my hair!!!” exclaimed Zorphlorg!
The moose giant spoke with glee “This grass is delicious!”
“Stop eating my hair!” Zorplorg spoke up, “it takes to long to grow for you to cut it off!”
“Zorphlorg, I got news that you were hired to destroy me, but I never thought the rumors were true”
“We must fight!” blared Zhorplorg, “Ka-me-ha-me-ha!” he cried out as a burst of energy flew from his hands.
“Arg!” the moose called as he flew back, “Rain of terror! Ha!” The moose bellowed as a rain of miniature balls of energy shot onto Zorphlorg. Both the moose and Zorphlorg flew up into the sky and started sparring at speeds so fast no that one could see their hands and feet moving but very perceptive people.
“Gah!” said the moose panting. “Clearly this contest cannot be decided by are skills with Dragon Ball Z, but by our skills… with a light saber!”
“I must warn you, I drank my Ovaltine today!”
“Yes but I ate my Wheaties!” the moose shouted as he flew at Zorphlorg. The battle was epic. Zorphlorg and the Moose Giant knew what they were doing.
Zorphlorg’s mind was racing, “left, right parry, block, top, roll, slash, dodge!”
The battle kept raging on for a minute or so until it was decided.
“Hold it!” panted the moose, “We are also evenly matched, we can only settle this one way” Zorplorg knew what this was leading too a face off only on the most brutal of battle fields. “We must settle this with…”
“Dance Dance Revolution!” they both said in unison as Zorphlorg pulled out a dance kit from his goat skin sack.
The music started, “Biff bop biff bop, deedledee doodooda!” The speed at which Zorphlorg and the Moose Giant were moving was truly breathtaking. It was as the world itself had stopped just for this battle of the dances to take place
Zorphlorg was thinking so rapidly not even I, the writer could decipher it. All I could make out of it was, “left, right, down, right, left, up, right and left, up and right!” This extreme dancing continued for only thirty seconds or more when suddenly!
“Ha” screeched the moose giant, “you made a foul step!”
“Yes, I know” said Zorphlorg calmly as he kept dancing, but you have missed one million, three hundred fifty-one thousand, eight hundred two steps while you were stopping to criticize me!”
“What?” screeched the Moose Giant “NO! THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!”
“Oh it is,” Zorphlorg pointed out obviously with the use of math. Then Zorphlorg burst out his lightsaber, and cut the moose’s head off. “What are we going to do with a head so big?” Zorphlorg asked the king who had been hiding this whole time.
“throw it up into the sky!”
“Why?”
“Just do it for fun!” he argued
“Ok, whatever you say I guess.” Zorphlorg shrugged then grasped the head by the antlers and threw it up into the sky were it stuck there and became a constellation of stars.

The End