Run To Me

She could see her breath in the air as she breathed in the cold mountain air. November's cold had crept up on the south unrepentantly. She snuggled closer into her jacket clinging to its' warmth. She walked quickly that few feet from the house to the barn and very gently opened the door. It wouldn't be the first time she had woken up to the horrid screech of the door when one of her brother would throw it open early in the morning. She wasn't in the mood for the fight she would get if she did that this Sunday morning. It was the boys only chance to sleep in a little later and she would have some explaining to do if she woke them up. She was greeted by the warmth of the barn and the quiet sounds of the animals sleeping. She made her way around hay stacks to Queens’s pen. Her chocolate colored friend greeted her good morning with a warm nuzzle to her owners neck as Tori hugged her horse. Queen had been her horse the moment that the mother had given birth. Tori took and trained, raising Queen to be a gentle companion and a strong horse. They'd been together for four years and every morning for those four years Tori would get up early and take her friend for a quick run through the fields. Tori carefully saddled Queen and started leading her out of the barn when she heard her name from behind her.
"Tori"
"Kincade" Tori turned to see her second oldest brother walking toward her with a look of mischief in his eyes.
"What are you doing so early this morning?" he asked teasingly. Tori was the only girl in the family, beside their mother, and each of the boys kept a close eye her every move.
"Taking my morning ride Kincade." Tori smiled wide. He knew what she was doing and it amused her to have this conversation with him. "What are you doing up this early?"
"Spot took sick last night." he answered.
"Is everything alright?" Tori asked, concerned. Spot was their oldest horse and his health wasn't great anymore.
"He's comfortable now." Cade said.
"That's good to hear. I'll see you after my ride." she said, starting to turn around.
"Be careful Tori." Cade said gently when she disappeared outside. Tori popped her head back in.
"Of course big brother." Tori winked, jumped onto Queen and took of into the west field.

Nothing had been planted in the field that year, so it made for smooth riding as Tori nudged Queen to go just a little faster. Queen got the hint and increased her pace, eager to stretch her legs. The cold slapped her face and she closed her eyes for a moment and let herself get lost in her thoughts. This was her moment in the day to talk to God. She poured her heart out to Him every morning and it helped her to get through each day. She gently slowed Queen to a slow trot and let her mind wonder. It fell onto her few chores to do for the day, the present she was going to buy for her mama for her birthday in two weeks and finally on Nate. She sighed when it went to him. Nathaniel Ridge had been Tori's best friend since they were old enough to hold their heads up. They had spent their lives together, growing up, playing, talking, fighting, and so many other things. They shared so much together, the good and the bad. It had been a while since she realized that she was in love with him. it felt like 5 years, but Tori knew it was really only for a little less than a year. Tori tried to pinpoint the moment that she had realized and whenever she would pick a moment, another one would pop into her head, and so on. It wasn't just on moment, just one action, it was all of them. She smiled as she thought about it. His voice, his eyes, his smile, the way that he would cough and look at the ground when he was unsure how to say something. He could walk into any room and light it up, no matter who was in the room. She loved his annoyance when she sang off key in church, or how he would try and out whistle her when she got the urge to whistle loud. He was the most trustworthy person she knew and the way that he protected her made her heart soar. And boy could they fight. It was always over the most little things and how she loved to fight with him. But Tori knew no matter what it was about, or what was going on, he was her best friend and she could trust him. But most of all, she loved their talks. They could sit for hours and talk. Tori had spent many hours crying on his shoulder, laughing at something he said, or just talking about nothing. Nate was the only one who get her to talk when she was mad. He was the only one who understood her completely. Tori shook her head fast. She had to rid herself from these thoughts. Nate was her best friend and she would never do anything to jeopardize that. She knew that she would always love him in secret. Oh, it made her sad to think that the only person she loved was the one that she couldn't have. But she knew that it would be okay because she wanted nothing but Nate's happiness and that meant stepping aside when it was time. Besides, he oldest brother Daniel and his family were coming over for dinner and Tori had some cooking and chores to get done. She swung herself back onto Queen and was about to break into a run when she saw someone riding up to her on a horse.
"Tori!" they screamed across the field. Tori smiled.
"Nate!" she laughed when he finally reached her.
"Hey you. Taking your morning ride I see." He said as he hopped down from his horse and helped Tori down from Queen. They walked toward the barn as they talked.
"What are you doing up this early?" she asked.
"Riding of course. I knew that you would be up and wanted to come out and say Good Morning and hello." He smiled. Tori eyed him.
"Liar. You loathe early mornings, the cold, and I haven’t seen you up at 6:00 in the morning in a very long time. So how about the truth?' Tori laughed.
"You accuse me of lying? I can't get up and come say good morning to my best friend?" he asked in defense. He knew of course that she was right and was just trying to get a smile out of her. He liked to make her smile. It worked as she laughed at his answer.
"Why don't you try the truth slick?" Tori said, almost wishing that he was telling the truth about wanting to see her alone.
"I... um... came to... um... see Cade." he admitted. "He's going to help train Trix."
"Uh huh." Tori said the smile fading as her heart dropped to her knees. The thought of him actually getting up to come and see her had made her excited, but it was hard to take the truth, even though she had known it all along.
"So. What have you been up to?" Nate asked, turning to distract her. She had lost her smile and was beginning to frown. He knew he had made her frown and wanted to change her mood.
"Nothing special. Daniel and Kathleen are coming for dinner. So lots of food to cook. If you're going to be here for the day you should stay and have dinner with us. Mama wouldn't mind and Paul would love the chance to play with his friend "Ate"" Tori laughed. Paul had just turned 3 and still had trouble pronouncing certain letters. "N" was one of them and Nate was affectingly known as "Ate" to her small nephew.
"I'd love to. Thanks Tor" he smiled.
"You're welcome. It will give us a chance to sit and talk. We haven't done that in a while." Tori winked, laughing as she headed into the barn to brush and cool Queen. "I'll see you later Slick"
"Yeah I have to find Cade." Nate said, heading to the back of the barn to find her brother. Tori finished with Queen and went inside to start chores and supper. Besides, she still had some thinking to do before she could talk to Nate that night.


Tori grinned to no one in particular as she watched Nate playing with her nephew Paul. She stood on the porch thinking that it would nice if that was Nate playing with their children. She had thought a lot about what she had to do. She had to tell Nate what was going on in her head and in her heart and let him take it. She couldn't go on pretending that nothing was up and she would rather have her heart broken now, rather than later. She wasn't looking forward to the conversation that was going to happen, but it had to. She had to get it over with so that she could let him go when that time came. She sighed, her heart heavy.

Nate covered his eyes in an attempt to count to ten, but instead felt the little guy plow right into him. He grabbed the boy and threw him into the air, catching him as he came back down and hugging him hard. Nate looked up to find Tori staring at them, a serene look on her face. He wondered what it meant and felt his heart twinge with the thought of getting to spend the evening talking to her. Nate knew his timing was bad, really bad. The south was rebelling against the north and they were on the brink of war. But Nate also knew that his time was running out. He always knew that he was going to marry Tori. He just assumed things would fall into place. But it was time to take that step with her. Nate chuckled as Paul squirmed to get down. Nate set him on the ground and watched as he went bounding for the chairs his mother and father were sitting in. He took a moment to go and stand with Tori.
"Hey there" he said when he got to her. She smiled but said nothing, staring out into the sky.
"How did the training go?" she asked after a minute, looking up at him.
"It went fine. Trix is going to be a pain to train, but he's a good horse, just needs to be broken." Nate answered. Tori nodded.
"You looked like you were having fun." Tori commented, motioning toward Paul.
"He's a great kid." Nate answered.
"Yes, he is." Tori agreed, smiling. "So..." Tori attempted to start the conversation up again.
"We're not good with silence are we?" Nate asked with a chuckle.
"No we're not." Tori agreed. Silence feel again. For a moment they each said nothing.
"Nate"
"Tori" they said at the same time. "Go ahead" Nate said.
"We need to talk."
"I agree. Tonight, after dinner. At our tree." Nate said. Tori nodded and went inside to help finish dinner.

"Good evening sir." Nate greeted Isacc Kendall with a firm hand shake. Isacc Kendall was a powerful man, not to be crossed with, but he always had a soft spot for his only daughter and he's had his eye on Nate for a while now. He knew why Nate was here now and he wasn't let her go without a good fight. Well, almost, Isacc smiled.
"What can I do for you Nate?" he asked, ushering the boy into the house with a pat on his back.
"I'd like to speak with you about something sir. And I would rather that Tori and Mrs. Kendall weren't here right now." Nate told him. Isacc nodded leading Nate to the southing of the house, to his office. It had taken Isacc almost 30 years to get Window Brooke up and running as successful as it was now. With 4 sons, 3 trainers, stable boys and numerous others that kept Window Brooke running Isacc knew he had a place that would last lifetimes. He had started off with his wife by his side and a dream in his heart. He still had his wife and his dream was real. Not to mention the money in the bank, his favorite 4 sons and his baby girl. She was the reason that Nate had showed up that night. he motioned for Nate to side in his overstuffed chair, opposite his big mahogany desk.
"So what's on your mind Nate?" Isacc asked, sitting down behind the desk.
"Well, sir..." Nate cleared his throat. he knew why he was there, but getting the words out was proving more difficult than he thought. Nate looked around the office, trying to come up with what to say. He wanted Tori to be his wife. But he wasn't quite sure how to tell Isacc that. "Well, I wanted..." Nate began again, failing again at what to say.
"Is okay son." Isacc smiled. He had felt this moment coming for weeks now and he knew that Nate was here to ask if he could marry Tori. Isacc knew what he was going to say, and although he hated to give her up he trusted Nate. He knew that Nate loved his daughter and it didn't hurt that one day he would inherit Cornerstone, his father's thriving plantation. But this war, Isacc thought angrily. The north versus the south was beginning to become a bigger nuisance that Isacc had thought. He understood what the south wanted, he even agreed with some of it. But he agreed with what Lincoln wanted as well. Lincoln wanted a United States of America, with no division between the north and the south. But as a southern plantation owner, he knew it was his duty to help support the south, no matter how weak their cause. He felt sorrow for Nate and Tori though. Their joy would be short lived if Nate was dragged off to war. "Maybe we can just talk." Isacc suggested to the nervous boy. "You're a good kid Nate." Isacc told him.
"Thank you sir." Nate commented.
"Can I tell you something Nate?" he asked. Nate nodded, not knowing what was coming. "I was your age when I first met my Elly. She came from a high class society up north and I was still a poor little southern boy with a dream of a better future in my head. We came from two different worlds and thirty years ago we were married and Window Brooke was born. So were Daniel, Kincade, Fredrick, Samuel, and Victoria. We made it work, despite every obstacle that stood in our way, and trust me son, there was some that seemed to hover over us, but we made it through. Elly and I stuck together through it all and if it's possible, I love her more now than I did when we first met. That, Nate, is what marriage is all about. its lots of faith, trust, love, some compromises and God." Isacc told him. Nate nodded, knowing full well Isacc already knew why he'd come.
"I love your daughter sir." Nate said plainly.
"I know you do."
"I would like your permission and blessing to marry her."
"I like you Nathaniel. I'm very pleased with my daughter's judgment and her choice of friends and now of a husband. My answer is yes Nate and I pray that you and Tori have as much happiness that Elly and I have shared all these years." Isacc stood to give Nate a hug.
"That makes two of us sir." Nate smiled.
"Well go and find her son!" Isacc laughed as Nate just about ran out the door to find Tori. He nearly ran her over when he opened the door. She took a step backward before he fell into her.
"Where are you going in such a hurry?" Tori asked, surprised to see Nate in her father's study.
"Dinner." he smiled and headed down the hall.
"But I didn't even say it was ready!" Tori yelled down the hall.
"You didn't have to. I can smell!" Nate yelled back, his heart swelling out of his chest. He was going to have Tori for his wife and he couldn't wait to see the look on her face when he asked her. Oh he loved her more than life itself.

Dinner was filled with talk of war and other things. No heated discussions or hateful words. This was family and it wasn't the time to discuss anything concerned with war and what everyone thought. Nate was glad for the chance to enjoy his future family's company. They were all so much fun and Nate was glad for the chance to get to know each of them. Daniel, Tori's oldest brother was a fountain of knowledge. He had gradated the top of his class in school and even went on for a little college before meeting his wife Kathleen. He enjoyed discussing books and theology with him. Kincade was the most gifted with farming and horse rising and Nate could always go to him for help with training or questions about his animals. Fredrick was off in England with their grandmother learning the English ways. He wrote ever once in a while and Tori always shared what he was learning and who he'd met. He knew she'd always wanted to go to England and he swore to himself that one day he would take her there to see it. Samuel was the youngest of the brothers and he was the most like Nate. They could play around and laugh and Nate always thought of Samuel as the brother he never had. Then there was of course Isacc and Eleanor. Elly, as she loved to be called, was one of the sweetest ladies he had ever met. She was considerate and loving of everyone. She never had a bad thing to say about anyone, she was always there when anyone needed a little help. He knew that Tori was the person that she was because of her mother. He turned his head to watch Tori joking with Samuel and smiled. Tonight she would be his.
Tori, however, was having some different thoughts. She saw Nate turn to her and felt her heart take a dive as she thought about what she had to do later tonight. She knew that it was going to be hard, but it was the only way that she could move on and hopefully find some one else to love. She didn't know why she felt the way that she did. Maybe it was because he knew her so well and she wanted so much better for him. She knew that Nate had the potential to go off to college and do great thing and Tori wasn't about to stand in the way of that dream for him. She refused to let him settle for anything, especially her. She knew it would hard for the both of them.

Dinner ended sooner than either of them had thought. Minutes after everything was cleaned and put away safely, Nate was helping Tori put her jacket and holding the door open for them to walk outside. The walk to their special tree was silent as each gathered their thoughts and words. The giant oak stood tall in the north field and Tori and Nate had spent hours and days playing together at "their tree". It had now become a place for them to sit and talk. Tori sat down on one of the protruding roots and Nate kneeled next to her. She smiled weakly.
"So." she said quietly.
"So." Nate repeated.
"I'll go first" Tori gained the confidence to talk.
"Alright." Nate nodded. He honestly had no idea what she had to say to him.
"I've been thinking a lot and I've... discovered some things." Tori started. "I've loved you for a long time Nate and I don't know what to do with that. I know that you'll never love me the way that I love you and I don't want you to, I think. You have so much you want and have to do in life and I don't want to be in the way of you going and having a great life. This farm, it's the life that I know and love and could never imagine leaving here. But I can't let you settle for this. You're meant to do such greater things than this and I needed you to know before you went that I do love and I'm sure that I’ll love you for the rest of my life." Tori turned to him now. The look on his faced scared her. It was a mix of confusion and anger. "That's why I think that it would be best if we didn't see each other anymore." Tori looked down to her hands when she said that.
"You really think not seeing each other is the only answer?" Nate demanded, clearly upset by what she had told him. She could feel the tears starting to fall as she looked up at him.
"It has to be." she whispered.
"No Tori." He said sternly. She gave him a confused look.
"What?" she asked in shock.
"This isn't the way that this was suppose to happen." Nate stood up and started to pace around the tree.
"Isn't the way what isn't suppose to happen?" Tori questioned.
"You were supposed to sit there I was going to take your hand and look into your eyes and I was going to tell you that I love you and that I want to make you my wife." He started to mutter. Tori gasped when she fully understood what he had said.
"Wait, Nate, what?" she asked again. He stopped pacing and went over to her and took her hand in his.
"I Love You Victoria. Will you marry me?" Nate asked her.
"Didn't you hear what I said?" Tori asked him.
"What you said doesn't make sense Tori." he told her plainly.
"What do you mean it doesn't make sense? It makes perfect sense!" Tori just about yelled at him.
"You're going to ask me not to see you because you think that I deserve better than you and that you'll hold me back." he repeated what she had told him.
"It's true Nate."
"There is no better than you and the only thing not seeing you will do is hold me back from being completely happily married to you." Nate told her. Tori shook her head. She couldn't figure out what had just happened. She had come out here to tell Nate she couldn't see him anymore and he wanted to marry her.
"Nate..."
"Just listen for a second?" Nate asked, trying to get her to see how insane her idea was. Tori nodded. "I love you. It's that simple. Not seeing each other won't make that go away and I could never settle in love Tori. You are the only person that I want and I couldn't ever imagine marry someone that isn't you. You're it for me Tori. This right here is love. From the time that we were small I knew that I was going to spend my life with you and it didn't matter how long it took us to get there, but with this war looming and your insane idea, I couldn't wait any longer to tell you how I felt. I was never sure if you loved me back and now that I know you do, it makes it so much easier to tell you that I want you to be my wife, forever." Nate smiled. Tori put her head in her hands and began to sob. Nate didn't know what to do with her crying so he wrapped his arms around her, comforting her. After a minute, Tori lifted her head and smiled the smile he loved so much.
"Really Nate?" she asked. He shook his head yes. "Alright." she whispered.
"Yeah?"
"Yes Nate. Let's get married." she threw her arms around him. He held her close, both of them teary eyed. Nate stood up first and pulled Tori up to him, hugging her hard.
"I love you" Nate said.
"I never thought that you did." Tori told him truthfully.
"Oh, believe me, I do." Nate assured her.
"I love you too." she told him. He smiled. Everything he ever wanted was standing next to him, agreeing to be his forever. He couldn't have been happier.

To bad the good never lasts long enough to enjoy it. Not three weeks later did the south announce its plan to succeed from the union and begin "The Confederate States of America"? Left and right, plantation owners, stable boys, all the way down the line, joined in the fight against the north. Tori knew it was just a matter of time before her brothers and Nate were off fighting with the rest of them. She tried to go about her chores without thinking about it. But she couldn't keep herself from the bad feelings she got whenever she thought about being tore away from Nate. They had planned to marry on Christmas Eve and now, with the war, she knew that it wasn't going to happen. Now she spent every day wondering if it was the day Nate would go off to fight. She wasn't happy that he was going, but she knew that he had to. Their opinions over causes were nothing when it came down to loyalty. The south was their home and they would defend their way of life no matter the cause or opinion.

Daniel had left Kathleen and Paul with her parents in Kentucky and drove to Charlotte for his brothers. He knew that his mother and sister wouldn't be happy to see him, but he had a duty to his commanding officer to gather troops to help fight. He had a quota of 500 to fill and he would start with his family. At least he knew that would be fight together and that was good enough for him. He would also take Nate with him, knowing that he would have to keep an eye on him for Tori's sake.

Tori saw the cloud of dust that followed the man on horse as he rode up the long driveway. Tori knew who it was right away and flew out of the house to find Cade and Nate in the barn. She threw open the door and ran to the back were Cade and Nate were taking care of Spot. By the time that she reached them, they both knew what was happening. Nate opened his arms as she threw herself into him. She squeezed him tight, finding it hard to let go of him. Cade nodded and left the barn to go and see who had ridden up to the house.
"Shh... it's going to be okay." Nate offered comfort to Tori. She shook her head no as she cried into his chest. "I promise that I'll be back." Nate took her face in his hands and kissed her. She melted in his arms and nodded. She put her arms around him again and hugged hard. They let go, but Nate held her hand as they walked out of the barn to greet the rider. Tori was surprised to see Daniel standing in front of them in full officer uniform. Mama was standing on the porch watching as her two oldest boys talked. Tori could see the tears in her eyes as she nodded that she knew what was happening. She saw Papa walk onto the porch, kiss his wife's cheek and went down to greet his oldest son. Tori saw them shake hands and the grim look that came over Papa's face. They finally reached the group and Tori heard what they were saying.
"... 500 soldiers to my care and I want to start with my brothers. I want them to fight under me so that I can take care of them." Isacc nodded and patted his oldest son on the back, dragging him into a hug. Nate let go of Tori's hand and went over to Daniel.
"I'm here for you Daniel." Nate told him.
"So am I" Cade chimed him.
"Me too!" Samuel ran from the other side of the barn, yelling his support.
"Thank you brothers." Daniel said. "We leave tomorrow morning. We have lots to do and not a lot of time to waste. Enjoy tonight. Tomorrow will come very quickly." Daniel warmed. He left the group and walked up his Mama and took her into a giant bear hug, gliding her inside to help calm her down. Samuel followed Daniel and Mama into the house. Papa looked from Cade to Nate, then to me and nodded. He nodded his head to Cade and the two of them strolled off into the house.
“So when were you going to tell me about this choice?” Tori tried hard to hind her hurt and anger.
“Tori.” Nate said softly. Tori shook her head and stormed off into the barn. Nate followed her.
“When Nate?” she asked again.
“I don’t know really. I’d been thinking about it for a while and when I saw Daniel over there talking to your father, I knew that I had to go. This is my country Tori, I have to help fight for it.” Nate tried to explain to her.
“No you don’t. You don’t have to go and die.” Tori tried had not to yell.
“That’s not going to happen.” Nate put his arms around her.
“You can’t promise me that.” Tori sighed.
“Tori you have to trust me.” Nate said softly. Tori turned into his arms and buried her head in his chest. He hugged her hard and held her while she cried.