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That child is pissed! Oh, good, and I am walking toward them. Ok, mom, give her the candy! Make her stop! That scream is so loud. Surely I will pass them any second and it will go away.

Perfect timing. The scream-maker herself. Grab a hold of his arm; maybe I won’t hit the sidewalk with my ass. Nice thought. I just became the cushion for this brat and her father. Great! Man my head hurts. What did I hit? I must be delirious. Did I hear that little girl say stranger? Shake it off, Sandi. Get up; you have a million things to do. Wait! I heard it again.

Alright buddy, the game is on. You have met your match today!

He is trying to get up! Where is the girl? To my right. Roll him left. Go!

Don’t let him get her. Keep your head. He is in a panic. Keep your cool. Think. Remember class. Thumb in the eye, knee in the nuts.

Oh shit, he took that class to! Damn that hurt! I can’t see him, where did he go? Listen. Moving right.

“NO!” Roll right, grab his leg, drag him down. He is going to kick, grab the other leg. “You can’t have her!” Missed, damn. Hold on tight, don’t let go! Gotta get that other leg. Missed again! Shit, concrete is hard. That one split it open.

I am going to have whiplash! That size 10 is fast. Don’t let go. Do it for the girl. Grab that other leg!

YES!! Now just hold on! Let her get away. Damn, is he ever gonna be still. I think that was a rib I just heard!

Finally. It’s about time he stopped moving. Thank God.

Where are all of those hands coming from? Hold him, not me! What are you doing? No, don’t let go. The girl, help the girl.

“You have to let go, ma’am. We have him now. It’s going to be OK, but you have to let go of him.”

“I hear you, but I can’t see you.” That sounded strange. Shit, is my jaw broke too? What’s that in my mouth? Oh my God! That’s my tongue! What the hell did he do to me?

“The girl, is she OK?”

“Is she OK?”

“Hey! Someone answer me!” I can feel a body right there. His hands are holding mine. At least he is gentle. I just wish I could see what is going on.

“Ma’am, stop trying to talk. You are pretty banged up. Just relax. The paramedics are on their way. My name is Officer Daniels. You did great. The girl is with her mom right now and we have the man cuffed and in the squad car. Thanks to your quick thinking, everyone is where they belong.”

Thank God. I hope he learned his lesson. Maybe all cops should be menopausal women!