The origins of behavior, both positive and negitive |
There is a small, lonely, piece of verse in the book of Proverbs that has the potential to unlock the understanding of all Human behavior, both positive and negative. To receive the full intention of the section one must look to one of the older translations of the Bible. The location is Proverbs 23:6-7 "Do not eat the food of a stingy(greedy) man, for as a man thinks in his heart so is he. "Eat and drink," he says to you, but his heart is not with you." This alone would be a boring little instruction on dining in the house of a greedy person. That is to say, don't. And that would be enough for those who want a "law" to dictate thier lives so that thought is no longer important. However, for methe verse does more than instruct me to avoid stingy people. The "why" he is stingy is given, and for me the "why" we behave is more important than "how" we behave. "So as a man thinks within himself(his heart) so is he." This is the key to understanding what we do and why. This little note in a very large collection of writings goes un-noticed by most Biblical scholars that I have spoken with or read. So what does this have to do with anything at all? Well it suggests that man is not an "ego centric" being. He is a "perspective centric" being. What I suggest is "what" we think doesn't dictate our behavior, but rather "how" we think or our "perspective" of thought that guides or lives. If one starts at the beginning of the Bible and reads the story of Adam and Eve you will see this "perspective-centricity" in action. Their lives are simple enough. Be happy, do what ever you want except this one thing. Avoid the fruit of this one tree and you will be fine. After a time something happens. Eve is tempted, not by the tasty fruit of the forbidden tree. She was tempted, as we all are, to believe that she was defective. That God had made her and Adam imperfect and by trying to obtain the knowledge from the fruit would make them ok. Once her perception of herself was one of imperfection then her view of everything and every one else had to follow. It is as if she put on a certain shade of glasses that distorted reality and her behavior then had a new reality matrix from which to launch. She starts by breaking the one rule God gave her and Adam and then by encouraging Adam to think the same way and thus behaving the same way. The net result is that the reality they enjoyed for however long ended. And the new reality of "something missing" or "something is wrong with me" or I am "bad" or I am a "sinner" became the norm. In this little discoarse I want to say it is possible to change our perspective and thus change our lives. It is not a matter of "poisitive" thinking, although being and thinking positive is fine. But if your belief is that you are inherintly faulty then you will not be able to maintain the positive thought. Nor do I believe that "behavior modification" will give you perminent results. What I have observed is that most behavior that seems to change "for good" is usually replaced with some other less desireble behavior. A smoker quits smoking only to gain wieght. This happens because the reason the smoker quits is not because his or her life is to good for this, but because of how bad smoking is. The perspective comes from how bad every thing is, including the self, so the behavior just goes from one "bad" thing, like smoking, to over eating and inactivity. The only way to really effect change is to become convinced that you are and always have been exactly who and what you should be. To accept the truth that you are worthy of a great life and healthy relationships and passion and love and all that one can enjoy. None of that can make you any better than you already are. But they are nice and good and healthy. I have heald to something to be true for some time and that is a thing is only worth what we are willing to pay for it. That is to say the value of an ounce of gold is set by the buyer, not the gold. If you believe in the story of Jesus then here is a note. He paid the price He was willing to pay. By doing so He in a sence said we are worth the life of the Son of God. What if the point of that was to give us the best possible perspectives for living? Our worth does not have anything to do with our behavior. Our behavior follows or sense of worth and it is the highest sense of worth that God offers man. To say "you are worth dying for" by God almighty is the greatest perspective of all. |