Keep Trying.Trust Me.

Missing you. Seeing you gone has emotionally stopped my heart.Telling me you

were leaving...I miss you.We can start over.I promise.This time we'll be

closer.Thinking these thoughts has given me a sliver of hope.Keep trying.Trust me.

We'll make it.I replay this line forever in my head...but sometimes,I know that you

won't come.Warm salty tears flow down my cheeks.I stand in the night.looking at

the jewel scattered sky.The moon smiled at me.Giving me hope.The wind caressed

my cheeks.My hair fluttered in the wind.I smiled for the first time in months back at

the moon.Hope..Hope.The wind whispered to me.I thought of you,your smile,your

face.As I thought of hope,this thought quickly left my mind.I know you won't

come,hope is just a lie.A lie to ease the pain of a forever scarred heart.The wind

grew strong.My hair began to reach for the moon.Its sad though.Its sad...I didn't

even get to tell you I loved you.You didn't even know.Fresh tears rolled like rivers off

my chreeks.Keep trying.Trust me.I thought of the day you left.My head throbbed

from the harsh memores.You told me you were leaving.Why?Was it me?I begged

you to stay.You walked past me.Ignored me like I wasn't even there.I hate you.I

hate you for leaving me...I hate myself too.For not believing my heart when I first

saw you.That tug of affection...and when I finally realized it...I love you.My love for

you goes deeper then words could ever say.Deeper than you could ever know.I

looked at you.Pain reaching deeper inside me when I realized you were

leaving.You're leaving.You're leaving.This sickening memory ran over and over like a

scratched disc in my mind.I turned away from you.At this point,our backs were

facing away from each other.Liquid sorrow ran from my shadowed eyes."Wait..",I

said.I didn't mean for my voice to come out so pathetic.But it did.A

sad,heartbroken croak.I know you'll never come.I begged you to stay.You stayed for

a moment,leaving five minutes later.I looked up at the sky.The night you left was

similar to a night like this.The jewel scattered sky.The moon smiling at me.The

wind caressed my cheeks.I looked back at you,about to tell you my life long

secret,my

love for you..I stopped.I was selfish then.I thought of what would happen if I told you

but you didn't accept me.I thought of the embarassment.I thought of our ruined

frendship.and I thought about you.I realized the long amount of time I was making

you wait as I calculated my future and thought of what would happen if I told

you.You stood there,eyes glassy,uninterested.This wasn't you.You quickly turned

on your heel.I broke down crying that night.This memory reeled in my head.I broke

down crying again.I began to sob.My cries of emotional pain let out in this twenty

minutes of relived sorrow.My wails sounded and echoed off in the forest through the

night.You killed me that night.I want you to know that.destruction spawns

creation.I quickly wiped my tears.I looked up at the smiling moon.Hope.Not only is

it a lie,its a lie meant to heal.Hope will heal.You hurt me.Thats okay.I'll put that

behind me.Theres always tomorrow.Tomorrow...tomorrow I will change my hair,my

clothes...the whole nine yards.Since...I hate you,whenever you come back(if you

ever)I want you to know that I'm not the weak minded girl you tore to peices that

day.Silver tears once again moistened my skin.No..not tears of sorrow,tears of

hope, a lie that will heal.And because...I hate you,whenever you come back(if you

ever)my heart will be twice as strong,and by that time I will have found someone

else.even though I do hate you,I love you all the while.I love you enough to make

myself tougher and ready for your comeback.I looked back at the smiling

moon.The ever experienced moon that saw the many wet,moistened cheeks of

heart broken lovers.I smiled,then layed on the cold,stone bench I sat on the night I

saw you.this time,the wind blew and sang sweet lullabies,while petals kissed my

cheeks.I looked at the jeweled scattered sky.It no longer reminded me of

you.Thank you for making me stronger.Though I will be going through

loneliness,and reminded of what happened summer nights ago,I will smile.Keep

trying.Trust me.You'll be in for a big suprise whenever you come back(if you

ever).because when you do I'll be ready.I lapsed into a dream where you...and life

don't exist..the lullaby singing wind pushed me further into this dream."Keep

trying.Trust me,"I mumbled.