Bleeding Inside

Bleeding Inside

By Sjolie Weeks

Why do people do the things they do to others? This is a true story of terrible things that happened to a nice person. Names have been changed to protect the identity of the character.


A blast to the past for a little background. A small child, Becky, grew up in a small town in central Indiana. She lived next door to her best friend, Timmy. They used to play games together everyday. They were such good friends that they were able to spend the night together, and their parents were fine with it. One day Becky went over to play with Timmy, and his step-dad let her in. Becky asked where Timmy was and his step-dad, James, said, "Timmy is up stairs cleaning his room. He will be down in a little while. You can sit down here and watch cartoons if you want." Becky sat down on the couch next to James, and began to watch cartoons. Once she was enthralled in a cartoon James began touching her in very private parts. Becky asked him to please stop, and James said, "It is okay. I love you and this how people show each other that they love one another." Becky was freightened, but she sat very still. James then layed her down on the couch. He lifted up her dress, and began to really touch her. He played, and violated the innocents of sweet Becky. He stood up, looked down at her, and said, "I will be right back don't move please." She laid there terrified. When he returned he had a knife in one of his hands. He got back on the couch, and began to use the knife on her. Pentrating her innocent vagina. After about five minutes, he removed the knife, and lowered himself down onto her pushing himself inside of her. He wiped the tears from Becky's cheeks. "It is okay honey, I love you, and will clean you up once we are done.", He said to her with a smile on his face. "Do you like the way that feels? It is okay if you do, because it is suppose to feel good darlin'....", he said with a deep gasp as he came inside her. After he was done with her, he picked her up and carried her to the bathroom to give her a bath and to clean her up. He stuck gauze inside her to stop the bleeding, and then called her mother. "Hi Cynthia, this is James, and I was calling to let you know that Becky is going to spend the night with Timmy tonight." "Okay thank you for calling to let me know. I will send her some clothes over.",her mother replied. "No that is okay, I will come over and get them so you don't have to send them over. Will you please get her sleeping bag and pillow ready too?" "Sure, that is not a problem. Thank you James." After he hung up the phone he looked at Becky, and said, "If you tell anyone what we did I will kill you, and your entire family. This is our little secret darlin'." She just looked up at him, and nodded yes. He then left to go get her clothes.

Before he had a chance to return Timmy returned home from the store with his mom. He was so happy to see her, that he ran over to her, and jumped onto her. She cried out, and Timmy asked what was wrong. She looked at him, and just said I fell down, and hurt my tummy. His mother came in and said hello Becky, are you spending the night. "Yes ma'am, I am if that is okay?" "Of course it is honey.", Timmy's mother replied.

Fast forward 14 years.... Becky is now 20 years old. She lives in a different town in Indiana, where she is in intense psychotherapy due to being diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia. She attends therapy five days a week. In therapy she discusses what happened to her when she was a child, and other things that she has never talked to anyone about. She toalks about her mothers reaction to her coming out as a lesbian when she was 18. She tells her therapist that what James did to her when she was six didn't feel good, and that she wished he was dead. Her therapist asked her about all the scars she has on her arms, and Becky tells her that it helps forget the emotional pain. That cutting herself and watching the blood flow helps with the bleeding inside. I don't want to live she tells her therapist. I can't handle the hallucinations or the voices. I can't sleep at night due to seeing his face. What am I suppose to do? Her therapist sat there in awe, pondering what Becky had just said. Do you feel like you may hurt or even kill yourself tonight or in the future she asked Becky. Becky looked her square in the eye, and said no honestly... I don't think I will kill myself due to the fact that I know there is someone in this world that loves me for me. Session ends and Becky goes back to her apartment, and sends her friend Evanna and email stating the things that were discussed in therapy that day. Evanna is a very dear friend of Becky's, and because of their friendship Becky wants to live, and hopes it turns into a romantic relationship.

Fast forward 2 more years.... Becky is now 22 living back in her home town where she works with developmental disabilities individuals. She has been really talking to Evanna about moving to Nevada, and Evanna says come please. Becky quits her job and moved to Nevada to live with Evanna. Their friendship has blossomed into a loving, nurturing, mature relationship. On September 30th of 2005 Becky got on a Greyhound bus to make the two and a half day trip to Las Vegas.

She is now living a healthy life, and is happily married to Evanna. Her life can only get better now.... No more bad things will be happening to this wonderful person. She is still fighting the bleeding inside, but Evanna helps her with understanding her emotions, and thoughts.