Drives to Reason

Three men were sitting under a dim light
chugging pitchers of beer.
First Mr. Black, and Mr. White
and across a Mr. Queer.
They furrowed their brows and passed some gas
drinking with no end in sight.
The first picked his ears and scratched his ass
and reflected upon his night:

'I know that women are fickle and rough
when denied or contradicted.
But last night was tougher than tough;
I almost got evicted!
I'm not so sure where I went wrong
I thought I was making sense.
But it's seems to be the same old song
how Nigrettes can be so dense!'

'Tisn't only Blackberries, friend,'
Mr. White quickly slipped in
'who can push and drive you to your wit's end.'
he said with a lop-sided grin.
'Vanillas and Gingers can drive you insane
and cough-up conundrums galore!
If you would like solid proof of my claim
just spend a day with my whore.'

Mr. Queer spoke, drunk with a shirt stain:
'You think you two have it bad?
Men would cause you just as much strain
if swung that way you had.
While women may get into your head
and without shame run amock
At least your ass won't be sore and red
as you suffer fuck after fuck!'

'No sympathy I give for sore, red asses.'
Mr. Black said now full of life.
He lifted his shirt and showed his scratches,
'A few presents from my wife!
Every week my skin must suffer and scar
when she gets into the moment.
So I think I have you beat by far,
what have you to say?' No comment.

'Asses and scratches I'd welcome with joy.'
Said Mr. White who had had quite enough.
'My wife dresses me up like a little boy
and makes me call her Nanny Snuff.
With tight white diapers I prance around,
a blue bonnet on my head
while she plays music in the background
with lyrics of terror and dread.'

The first two men, their eyes did meet
and they broke out in torrents of laughter:
'You win! You win! We concede defeat!'
Their breathing grew faster and faster.
Harder than his two friends Mr. White
started laughing as well:
'And that's the reason we all fight
so we'd each have a story to tell!'