Rant

at meigs you get more comments
about black nail polish
than green hair.

Of course, I only wanted to see how it'd look
and grab a little attention
--- for once---
to see how it would be.
lol

Personally, I don't fit in with many groups
and that's exactally how I love it.
I'm the one who on a whim
will leave her little trend obsessed friends
and go write morbid short stories
under the non-existent shade.
If anyone quotes a disneychanel show
or shows off some sort of
new fashion, I just roll my eyes.
Because I don't care.

I'm the one who has been completely
set against going goth or "emo"
because the're a style.
And getting a little old by the way.

I'm the one who barely smiles,
yet makes weird comments
on everything that for some reason
make my friends laugh.
I'm the one who gives up too easily
yet will go on for 10 pages on a story
about someone slowly dying---
If the mood strikes me.

I'm the one who uses too
many big words and actually
does the homework.
I'll scold my friends
for using phrases from the 90's,
and hate it when they talk about
how much they hate themselves.
Then I have my own douts.
I'm the one who gave a crush
a note 4 months ago, telling him how I FELT
that he completely snubbed,
and am still ocasionally writing about
how much of a jackass he is.
I'm the one who writes poems
and only shows them to my closest friends.
I'm the one who reads in their spare time, and Stephan King books no less.
I'm the one who writes songs
by the dim glow of my lamp and wonders
why I'm even alive.
But thats only on my bad days.

And I'm also the one who is too quiet and seems shy
yet carries herself with confidence because I know I don't fit in.
Most of the time on purpose, just to contradict friends.
And I'm just fine for that.

I'm the one who loves roller coasters
and horror movies.
Who isn't afraid to try new foods.
Who loves the road less traveled.
And travels the road much less.

I love metaphors and hate the world.
But I've barely admitted this to anyone.
I hate following the crowds and would LOATH
leading them.

I hate pity, and people who call me cute
or pretty
because I know they don't mean it.
And they know it too.

My footsteps are quiet and I love sneaking
up on people.

I love cats, and I hate being blonde.

I'll rant for hours or not talk at all.
I keep grudges for years and am notoriously
bitter and cynical.

I've been asked if I was emo 3 times this week,
but I dress and act like I always have.
But now my personality is stylish?
Maybe not, because no one really hates the world,
they're just full of it.
And they know it too.

Maybe we need people at meigs that will actually
judge people just by their clothes and attitude
and judge them by it.
Maybe we need thicker lines around
our social groups, because
then I could stand outside of every one of those circles
and laugh.
Laugh like a deranged clown.

I don't fit under a label.
And I'm not just saying that.
I'd have to make my own.