A old man can nolonger live with his nasty wife |
The tired man came home from a hard day at work, he got out of his car before the wave of sadness could trap him in the drivers seat. He couldn’t help but get angry at himself for not just taking the car and driving off. His mind raced at the possibility and joy of this but he was getting old, he had past the age where he could walk away and start again. He had dug his pathway through life and was now stuck within the walls he had allowed to be built around him, destined to follow them where ever they may lead. Once he reached the front door he took a breath of air, he turned the handle on the door and forced a smile onto his face so as he walked through the door he looked happy when he was far from it. His wife was standing in the kitchen talking on the phone, he loved her so much and the sight of her lifted his heart but also dropped his soul. “Hi Honey I’m home” he said happily as he tried to maintain the illusion he was fronting. His wife turned and looked at him, she had a smile on her face but as soon as she saw him her smile vanished into a sneer and her eyes turned cold, she gave him this cold stare for a moment before turning away and continuing to talk on the phone with a pleasant happy voice. He felt his illusion shatter and could only watch as his smile fell to the ground, he pictured himself standing on the dying smile as he staggered into the lounge and collapsed on the couch where he sat staring into space wishing he could make his life better, his mind asking himself what had he done wrong but he didn’t know. When he had first met her she was so pretty and had the sweetest voice he had ever heard. He thought they had the type of love that would last forever. He had envisioned them both sitting together in there eighties with the same loving glow that they had 10 years ago but now he only saw a cold empty future. His wife walked into the lounge chatting kindly on the phone. The man watched as she moved and laughed, he remembered the times he had made her laugh through the years and the way he could get her to cry tears of laughter just by uttering a few well placed words. Now nothing he said made her laugh, everything he said would only anger her and she would get that expression on her face of pure disgust, but she would laugh at anything other people said even if it wasn’t funny. He quickly forced a smile back onto his face as his wife put the phone down even though he knew there wasn’t any point. He watched as her smile fell, her sparkling eyes lost their color and her movements lost their happy free look, she glared at him with that coldness that he hated so much. “Didn’t you see me on the phone? Don’t you know not to talk to people when they are on the phone you rude little man!” she yelled with such an intense coldness that stabbed into his heart. “I’m sorry dear, I was happy to see you and I didn’t realize you were on the phone” the man put his sweetest face on hoping that his sweet remark might spark the same in her. He had thought that if he was happy and positive around her then maybe she would reflect some of that back to him but this had never worked. He remembered how it felt to hear her sweet voice as she spoke to him, he remembered the way she would talk about her day and he’d listen to her not caring when she was only talking about uninteresting things because he loved her voice and that alone made every word she said seem so exciting, but now she only used her nasty voice on him. “Don’t give me that crap and why are you late? Did your bum job hold you up? You should have got a better job when you could but you’re too old now, too old and useless.” Her words bit into his pride and he couldn’t help but think she purposely wanted to hurt him. He had spent countless sleepless nights searching for an answer to why she had changed from such a loving person to what she is now. He had never done her wrong, he had never been unfaithful, he had never done anything to hurt her and given her the best he could but now she seemed to hate him. “We’ve been invited to dinner with Sally, her husbands and some of their friends.” The wife continued as she moved around the room straightening things as she spoke. “I told them you wouldn’t be able to make and it would just be me. I don’t want them to meet a slob like you and why is it that you’ve been home for only five minutes and I’m already tidying after you?” she asked without expecting a answer. “But dear I haven’t done anything-“he tried to tell her that but she cut in getting the words she wanted from him. “Exactly, you don’t do anything. The only reason I put up with you is for the kids. It would break their hearts for me to leave you but if it wasn’t for them I’d be gone quicker then you could blink. I’d have the life I want, the life I deserve rather then being trapped with you. It was all part of your plan wasn’t it, get me pregnant so I couldn’t leave you that would be just the thing you’d do.” Her words poured out with a bitter anger but the man knew not to argue because that would only encourage her and give her more examples of how horrible he was. She seemed to love arguing with him, everything he’d say she’d disagree with so he didn’t talk much with her, he figured what’s the point when she would automatically disagree with him. He tried to block out her yelling and tried to think that deep inside her she still loved him, he refused to think their children which had all grown up and moved out of home where anything but a blessings but soon her yelling was getting too much so the man decided to retreat. “I’m sorry dear let me make you a cup of tea.” He offered “Yes I do want a cup of tea and make it at least somewhat drinkable this time.” She replied as she moved to the other side of the room to avoid getting close to him as he passed. He went into the kitchen and began making the hot drinks, he loved having a cup of tea once he got home and he let his mind wander back to the old times when his wife would have one waiting for him when he got home as well as a hello kiss. He sighed and finished making the tea but then he pulled a tiny bottle of liquid out of his pocket. He stood there staring at the two cups of tea, one was his cup and the other one was his wife’s cup which had flower patterns spread around it. This is it he thought to himself, the time to make the decision of where his life will go from here. He had enough money to retire comfortably but he didn’t want to live alone, he loved his wife and didn’t want to leave her but he knew that he couldn’t let his life continue this way, he couldn’t allow himself to continue to dwell in the darkness that consumed him, he could no longer constantly excuse himself to go to the toilet just so he could cry some of the pain away. But he didn’t know if he could go through with the plan he had made, he didn’t know if he could do what he had set out to do. He knew he had been smart enough and the liquid would be completely untraceable, he also knew that the only thing that held him back was his morals, his beliefs of right and wrong which were so damaged now, he knew he wasn’t the person he wanted to be, the torment from his wife had eroded the qualities that he once had within himself that he was so proud of. He asked himself yes or no, yes or no. “What the hell is taking you so long is it to much for you to handle? Do you need some help making a simple cup of tea, even you can’t be that useless!” came the cold harsh voice from the lounge, the man looked up, blinked slowly and poured the liquid into his wife’s tea as a tear slowly crept down his cheek. Later that day his wife suffered a major stroke, her left side was permanently paralyzed and she would need care for the rest of her life. The doctors put it down to her age and didn’t look too much into the cause. As time past she was released from hospital and was taken home to the loving arms of her husband. The harshness she had towards her husband was gone because she was now completely reliant on him. He quit his job to look after her and done everything he could for her. Sometimes guilt spread through his mind at the thought of what he’d done but he just told himself that she was happier now and so was he. She did seem happier but he knew that this wasn’t pure happiness, it was because she needed him and she could no longer treat him like dirt because no one else would look after her. |