My Heart Hurts

My heart hurts.
I can’t describe it, it just aches.

My sister did it. She trampled it with her words and with her actions.
She has no regard for me and wrongly accused me of having none for her.
I can’t change how she feels.
I just don’t understand it.
What did I do that was so wrong?

I was not responsible for her parents’ deaths.
It was not my fault that my biological father was still alive when my step father died.
She asked me questions only a mother would remember.
She was insulted when I tried to remind her that I was her sister, not her mother. She doesn't remember that I was only 8 years old.

I was important to her when our brother was alive.
Now that’s he’s passed, her cruelty has emerged.
How did I get here?
What did I do?
Why do these tears pour down my face?

I wrote about my family from my prospective.
She said my “fiction” was “nauseating.”
She said hurtful things in hurtful ways and made everything my fault.
Why can’t she consider things from my point of view?
Why does she hate me so?

She accused me of abusing her as a child.
I was a child myself and we had sibling fights.
She was my step-father’s favorite and I became invisible.
Why does my pain have to increase in order for hers to decrease?

I’ve not brought up the pain she’s caused me in the past.
It never seemed that important.
She’s younger and is still learning.

Such anger and hate bombards my soul.
I don’t know what to do.

All I know is,
My heart hurts.