Hey Jealousy

Hey Jealousy

Lane sat in the coffee shop drinking a blended café mocha. He found himself in there a lot these days. He had gone to the coffee shop every day since he had quit drinking two months earlier. He needed something to take his mind off the alcohol. It was raining outside. It kind of seemed to fit his mood that day, and every day for that matter. Everything was so screwed up. Things had been great until the day she left him four months ago. Well, at least things had been great in his mind. When she left, lane went into a deep depression and drank non-stop for the next two months until one of his good friends finally talked some sense into him. It was then that he realized that he could only get her back if he got rid of the reason that she left him in the first place: The alcohol. He then quit drinking.
So two months later, he sat there in that coffee shop trying to decide whether to call her or not. He was afraid that she would no longer want to speak to him after the way he had hurt her. He had done so many things to shame her. Drinking, cheating, staying out all night, gambling and losing all of his money. It was clear to see why she just had enough and up and left him.
As he finally decided not to call her and he opened the door to walk out, he held his head down in shame. He was going home to sleep. As he walked out the door, he bumped into a girl. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” he said as he looked up. “Hi,” she said. He couldn’t believe it. It was her. It was like in that very instant; his whole world came back to him. And even though he knew he needed to say something to make her stay and listen to him, he couldn’t do it. All he managed to say was “Hi.”
“How have you been,” she asked him.
“Better. Not better than ever, but better.”
“That’s good.”
“How have you been?”
“Pretty good.”
Pretty good, pretty good? He thought to himself. How can she be pretty good? These have been the most miserable four months in my entire life, and she is pretty good?
“You wanna sit down?” He finally asked her. His heart was beating so fast that he felt as if it had jumped out of his chest.
“I really don’t think I should. “She replied. It felt as if she had stepped all over his heart that lay exposed on the floor. When she began to walk, he stopped her. “Wait,” Lane said. “Can we just talk?”
“You’ve got twenty minutes.”
They sat down and he picked up his heart and dusted it off.
“I quit drinking two months ago.”
“I’m proud of you.”
“Look, I know I ruined things between us, and I know that it will be hard for you to ever forgive me after everything that I put you through. But I am different. And I just want you to know that.” The truth was, she did want to forgive him. But she just didn’t know if she could.
“I wrote a song for you.” He told her.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything.”
“He pulled a folded up piece of paper out of his pocket.”
“Here.”
He handed it to her. She put it in her purse.
She realized that she needed to patch things up with him. In his mind, everything had happened so quickly, and she left him out of nowhere. But for her, things had been bad for a long time.
“Hey, do you maybe want to go out to lunch?”
“Yeah! I mean, sure.”
She smiled at him and he smiled back. It was kind of like it was before.
So they spent the whole day together. Joking, laughing, and having fun together. It was the best day he had had in such a long time. Not just because he was spending it with her, but also because he missed her smile. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had seen her beautiful smile. He missed the way her eyes sparkled when she was happy. And that day he got to see it again. They were having so much fun just driving around town.
It was about ten o’clock when they finally arrived back at her house. “I had fun today.” She told him.
“Me too.”
“Lane, I just wanted you to know that I do forgive you for what happened with us.”
“Thanks.”
He smiled. Those were the words that he had been waiting for for two months. “Hey, maybe we should get together tomorrow too.” He said.
“Uhm, I think I’ve got plans.”
“Oh, what are you doing?”
“I’m going out to lunch.”
“With who, friends?”
“Not exactly. I’m going out with William and his parents.”
“Who’s William?” He asked with a hint of anger in his voice.
“My boyfriend.”
It was silent for a moment. “Get out of my car.” He said softly.
“Lane please I…”
“Get out!!!” He screamed at her. She was scared, so she opened the door quickly and stepped out. When she shut the door, Lane hit the steering wheel. She began to walk up the stairs to her third story apartment. Lane opened the car door and got out. He slammed the door.
“What the hell is your problem?” He asked her.
“What?”
“We spent the whole day together and not once did you mention that you had a boyfriend!”
“Lane, things were going so good and I didn’t want to spoil anything.”
“Well you did! You ruined everything, you fucking whore!”
She burst into tears. “Goodbye Lane.” She ran upstairs and into her apartment. She slammed the door behind her.
Lane stepped into his car. He reached into his glove compartment and pulled out a flask. He hadn’t had anything to drink, but he had it in there just in case. It was his safety net.
He pulled the top off and drank its entire contents. He then started his car and drove home.
He walked inside and into his kitchen. He had a padlock on his liquor cabinet just to see if he could really stop drinking with alcohol in the house. That and, he wasn’t really sure if he could do it so he didn’t want to get rid of anything. He locked it up and gave a friend the key.
Lane reached under his kitchen sink and picked up a hammer. He broke the lock off and took everything out. He drank and drank and drank. He drank until it didn’t hurt anymore. He was still mad though. He grabbed the bottles and threw them at the wall. He broke every one of them. He was still angry. So he decided to go take it out on her.
As he was driving to her apartment he became angrier and angrier. He wasn’t paying attention to anything but his anger. And it was because of this that he didn’t even notice that he was speeding through a red light and a huge semi was coming through the intersection. The semi hit him and the car flipped three times. When the ambulance got there there was nothing they could do. Lane was dead. And his last thought was how much he hated her at that very moment, but how much he really did love her.
Later that night, she was sitting in bed watching TV when she remembered the song that Lane wrote for her was still in her purse. She grabbed her purse and pulled the song out. As she read it, she got kind of teary-eyed. “You can trust me not to drink and not to sleep around, if you don’t expect to much from me, you not be let down. Cause all I really want is to be with you, feel like I matter too…” It was then that she realized that he really had changed. “Hey Jealousy, Hey Jealousy…” Then she saw the news bulletin come up on the TV. “A man ran a red light and was hit by a semi earlier tonight. He was killed on impact. It is still unknown if the man was under any influence. Twenty-six-year-old, Lane…” She burst into tears when she saw his driver’s license picture on the TV screen.