A poem about my experience with an eating disorder |
Her World Her disease is a hole Deep and dark with steep sides The farther she falls in The faster she slides It deprives the body by infecting the mind To her own jutting ribs and gaunt cheeks she is blind Her world is one of frustration and tears Endless exercise and convex mirrors A simple sneeze makes her achy for hours The drain is full of hair after she showers Her heart is like a sick bird, feeble and weak She can feel each wheezing, irregular beat After workouts, veins in her arms swell, thick and blue A glaring reminder Of what her body’s going through She’s always cold, a chill penetrates to her core She can never seem to get warm anymore Sitting in hard chairs at school bruises her spine When her friends show concern, she insists that she’s fine Hunger screams from every corner of her body and soul She feels that without it she wouldn’t be whole She dreams of food every single night But in the day she agonizes over each bite The lifestyle devours her thoughts, time, her life It brings endless heartache, despair and strife Even though she’s desperate to get better Her fear of getting fat refuses to let her Slave to the fat grams and calorie counts Slave to fear, isolation, and nagging self-doubt Hundreds of rumors, thousands of stares She wonders if anyone really cares Her father is angry, her mother just cries What if she can’t recover? What if she dies? Don’t envy the stars in magazines that you see I’ve lived through this hell, so please listen to me It’s not glamorous, and it’s not feminine To be miserably, deathly, painfully thin |