The Sins of our Fathers

He knew this dream. The younger version of himself walked the gravel path in the park, with the smell of grass baking under the hot summer sun, and the sound of children playing in the background, he knew he was dreaming.

He didn’t mind, because he knew dreams were an escape for him. A way to visit what couldn’t be and pretend if that for one night, they may be real. They were a place to feel what was buried in his soul and be at peace with it.

His thumbs hanging from the pockets of his jeans, he whistled “Sunshine of my Love,” carelessly and enjoyed the sound of crunching his boots made on the gravel. He strolled around the bend in the path and came upon a playground area.

Children were hanging and climbing like ants on the playground equipment. Some were laughing, some were shouting, and one little blond girl, about six, was crying because sand had affixed itself to her grape popsicle.

He walked over to her and pulled out his handkerchief. Calmly he asked to wipe off her popsicle for her. Sniffling, and giving him the saddest expression he had ever seen in a six year old’s eyes, she handed him the icy treat.

As delicately as he could, he wiped the sand off, with the intensity of a brain surgeon performing an operation. The girl’s dark green eyes brightened as he handed her the popsicle. They looked very familiar.

“Thanks, mister,” she called over her shoulder when she skipped away. He watched her go. Her eyes were so familiar. Probably some figment of his imagination. This was a dream after all.

He turned back toward the path and saw her. She was wearing a white linen sundress that seemed to move with every gesture she made. Her tan shoulders gleamed in the sunlight, as she tossed her dark hair over them. The gold glints in it created a halo around her head and a warm light seemed to radiate around her form. The breeze blew strands away from her face, and as she turned in his direction, her dark green eyes seemed to beckon him.

There she was, his beloved Leigh. Given up long ago, visited in dreams. She was laughing now at the carriage next to the bench she sat on. Reaching in she tickled the baby that he knew was there. Their baby they made together out of love and sorrow.

He stood where he was, enjoying the sight of her tending to their child. He heard the baby wail. Leigh picked her up and lifted her above her head. He never thought he would see anything so beautiful as that picture. How he wanted to join in on their day.

But he did as Leigh thought was best, which was nothing. He silently watched from afar and took what was given in the knowledge that they were happy.

Clouds were gathering in the east, and he heard thunder in the distance. The storm was moving quickly towards the park, and he felt a twinge of concern for his loved ones.

Leigh didn’t seem to notice, as she took a pink teddy bear from the carriage and teased the baby. The baby fussed even more, her tiny fists waving furiously.

The ominous clouds were directly over the park now, and most people had left, anticipating a downpour. He took a hesitant step towards them, wondering if he should break his promise and warn them.

The thunder was deafening, and lightening flashed dangerously close to the playground equipment. Still, Leigh didn’t notice. She pulled out a bottle to feed the child, but the poor tyke was scrunching her forehead and weeping, pushing the bottle away with fitful swipes of her fists.

Raindrops were hitting the ground now. Alarmed, he saw Leigh was bleeding above her left breast, as she carefully set the baby back in her carriage. He started to walk over, then realized she wasn’t bleeding, but the raindrops were red.

Leigh’s screams joined the baby’s wails as raindrop after raindrop fell on her, staining her white dress. She jumped to her feet and tried to grab the carriage, but she was soaked with blood and he heard sizzling coming from her body as she jerked once then fell beside the bench.

Frightened beyond belief, he sprinted over to where she lay. Her beautiful skin was melting, and he felt the burning as the bloody raindrops fell on his own skin. Her green eyes opened and looked into his. She slowly lifted a hand and brushed his cheek.

“Is it really you?”

“I’ve always been here, Leigh.”

“I know,” she sighed, her breathing labored. Blood was everywhere and pooled where he lifted her into his arms. He broke out in sobs.

“Don’t leave me,” he said, tears streaming down his face, mixing with his own blood from the scorching rain.

“I have to go now. You have to take care of Bridget. She…needs you.”

She was going into shock and her hand clutched at his shirt. He didn’t realize he was rocking her, trying to shield her from the rain.

“Remember me,” she whispered, “I love you.”

Her head fell back. All he heard was the sizzling rain and his sobbing, joined by a baby’s wailing.