Looking Deeper Pt 1

“United Flight 3610 to Las Vegas will be delayed for a further half an hour.” The pleasant voice over the loud speaker informed the waiting room of people. “We are sorry for the inconvenience and are doing everything to leave as soon as possible.”
Louisa hardly registered the announcement; she hardly heard it in fact over the sounds of her own thoughts in her head. She knew that people would board the flight when it was ready and she would notice that, so she was able to turn her attention inwards.
“Louisa Jane.” Her mother’s voice echoed inside her head. “Don’t worry about it. He’ll come along one day!” That had been her mother’s mantra at first. But soon enough even that mantra had dissolved, to be replaced by well intentioned advice. “Don’t try so hard! If you’re looking, you’ll never find him.” “Why don’t you lower your standards, just a little? You have to give at least as good as you want in return, and honey, I love you, but look at you. You’re not exactly beauty queen material!” “Looks aren’t everything, don’t get me wrong…but you’ve let yourself go, Louisa. You can’t get a man with intelligence and personality. That’s an old wives tale!”
Louisa unconsciously shook her head, as if trying to shake the jumbled confusion of memories into sense. She’d tried not to try hard. She’d made herself consciously stop looking. She’d tried relaxing and not worrying about it. She’d tried obsessing about how she looked. But none of it had made any difference.
Perhaps it wasn’t her fate to meet the man of her so called dreams. Perhaps that was a remnant from her childhood that she hadn’t quite left behind, and hadn’t quite accepted as just that…a dream. She was an adult now, after all. So perhaps it was time to do it. Her sister had perhaps even come to the same conclusions.
“It’s not the end of the world, Louisa.” Ella had said cheerily, the day before. “There are so many exciting places to see, so many more exciting things to do. You can do all that. You’d probably never do any of it if you had a husband.”
Louisa smiled at that memory. Ella had been saying it to comfort her, and to be kind. But even she didn’t really believe it, and Louisa had been able to hear it in her sister’s voice on the phone. It was a testament to nature’s sense of humor that two sisters could be so alike in personality, and yet so completely different in looks. More than anyone in the world, Ella understood how much Louisa wanted to find her ‘Mr Right’.
Louisa had no idea why she had never met a man who had caught and held her interest. It was true that her standards were incredibly high, and that she was just never interested in anyone who didn’t meet her standards. But she didn’t think that her standards were unreasonable. No matter what her mother said, she knew that she could give at least as much as she was asking for.
As the years had passed and she had felt the hands of time ticking on the clock of her life, she had sometimes wondered if her standards were too high, but she hadn’t been able to lower them. And she now knew one thing for certain. She would rather be alone than settle for less than ‘everything’.
It was hard to believe that because of that, she might be destined to be alone forever. But it was a distinct possibility. Today’s events had made that seem more of a reality than it had ever felt before.
It had been a bizarre coincidence. Usually Louisa didn’t believe in coincidence, but she couldn’t yet come to the point where she could believe that it had been fate. He was the only man that she had ever allowed herself to fall in love with. The only man with whom she had allowed herself to believe that she had found ‘him’.
As children, she and Ella had talked for hours, night after night, lying in bed, about the men they would one day marry. They’d listed his attributes, qualities, even things that he might do or say. They’d even listed possible names for their children. It had all seemed so possible then.
Strangely enough. Or maybe not. Ella hadn’t been far off in her description. Of course, both Louisa and Ella’s lists had matured and been refined over the years, but the same basic elements had remained. Jeff, Ella’s husband, was almost exactly what Ella had described. It didn’t overly surprise Louisa, in many ways. Ella took a while to decide what she wanted. But once she knew, there was no stopping her.
It was crazy, but Louisa had often almost felt as if she’d let her sister down by not finding her own ‘Mr Right’. As well as imagining their husbands, they had also spent countless hours planning the lives that they would share together once they were both married.
It was childish voices that echoed in Louisa’s head this time.
“It’s going to be great!” A young Ella whispered. “They’ll drink beer and watch football together, while we cook dinner together. We’ll car pool to take the kids to school and sports practice.”
“They’ll be best friends, just like we are, and our children will be so close, practically like brothers and sisters.” Louisa heard her own young voice say.
“I can’t wait Lou. I wish it was now. We’re going to be so happy!” Ella said, and Louisa could still hear in her voice the satisfied smile that had been on Ella’s face as she fallen asleep that night when Louisa had been ten.
Well, it hadn’t quite turned out that way. Nor was it looking like it would. But at one point, she’d thought that it was going to.
Mark had been totally out of her depth, experience and league, and yet he’d befriended her, and even instigated it becoming more. It had been like a dream come true. But in the end, as it turned out, it had been far from a dream.
Mark had fit her list almost perfectly. Painfully so, because the only way he didn’t fit was that in the end, she obviously hadn’t fit his list perfectly.
Hours and hours of self reflection later, Louisa knew that it wasn’t really about lists. It was about choices. And although she had chosen him, he hadn’t chosen her. Not in the long run. She had also eventually realized that he probably hadn’t been so perfect for her anyway. Enough of what she’d been looking for had shown on the outside that she had ignored the less obvious parts that she hadn’t.
As she’d stood looking at him, maybe thirty minutes ago, both of them not knowing what to say, that fact had been so obvious to her that it had been almost more of a shock than the coincidence of seeing him had been. She was a different person to who she had been five years before. She was far more honest with herself these days, and far more able to accurately read people.
As she’d stood there, looking at the man that Mark had become, she’d suddenly realized that the person she’d loved not only no longer existed, but perhaps had never existed at all.
But with that realization had come the thought that if that was true, she had never met anyone who personified what she was looking for. And hard on the heels of that thought, had come a scarier thought yet. That if that was true, perhaps a person who did, did not exist at all.


“Listen G.M. I need you to arrange this. Fast.” Jarod barked into his cell phone. Damn this delay was making him impatient. He felt like the world, even nature, was conspiring against him. He knew that was ridiculous, but he still felt that way.
“A wedding banquet for 200 people in two days, in Las Vegas?” The female voice, still husky from being woken up, replied. “You’ve got to be kidding, boy. That might be time for me to haul myself outta bed and fly my own ass down there. But it sure as hell aint enough time to organize a damn wedding!”
“This is not a polite request, damn it!” Jarod snarled. “I pay you what I do exactly because of this kind of situation. You are meant to be a problem solver and miracle worker rolled into one. I will not accept Brandy being disappointed.”
Amused, cynical laughter erupted on the other end of the line.
“Honey, you don’t pay me nearly enough for this kinda shit!” The voice said, equally abrasively. “Besides, if you are marrying some gal you just met, called Brandy of all things, you’d be better getting married in a ‘love chapel’ and saving your money for the divorce settlement.”
Jarod jerked his tie in an unconscious gesture of tightly leashed frustration. “If you were anyone but my Grandmother, I would have just hung up on you.” He stated very calmly. “And the wedding is not for me. It is for our new client. Bruce Flemming. He reunited with his high school sweetheart, Brandy, who he says is one of the loveliest women I will ever have the pleasure to meet, and they want to get married now. I told them that we’d be delighted to arrange it all for them. After all, we pride ourselves on making things work that no one else would touch.”
Jarod smiled with catlike grace at the sudden silence on the other end of the line. He knew that Monica’s brain cogs had finally woken up and were now working overtime.
“Jay.” The female voice said, a little less harshly this time. “I got the wrong idea, and I jumped to conclusions.”
Jarod was silent waiting for her to finish.
“I just saw what the divorce did to you, and you’ve been so unsettled recently. I just couldn’t stomach seeing something like that happen again.”
Jarod grimaced. He didn’t like to be reminded of the few big mistakes he’d made in his life. Least of all the biggest one. “I know.” He admitted.
“Ok, look.” Monica said, suddenly changing the tone of the conversation again. “Where are you?”
“New York, at JFK. My flight, which has the last, and worst, seat to Las Vegas on it, has already been delayed an hour.” Jarod said, letting his frustration color his voice.
“Ahhhhh.” Monica stated, as if that explained a lot. Jarod hated the fact that it probably did.
“Well, I certainly better get myself moving. I’ll phone Jill now, and get on the first flight. I’ll make sure Travis and the crew are ready to move if we need them to come down. It’s gonna be tight but I’ll phone Donald. He has people in Vegas. Or knows people who have people. So we should be able to get this done without bringing them in. But I’ll put them on standby. I need to make sure Nancy knows about this too…Ok, gotta go. See you soon.”
Jarod smiled as he heard the dial tone. Typical Monica. Like a damn roller coaster. God, he loved that about her.
Jarod put his cell phone back in his pocket and stretched his legs out. It was amazing how much better he felt knowing his Grandmother was on the job. He wondered how long he had been talking, and how much longer he was going to have to wait for the plane.
He glanced around the room. He was not looking forward to the flight. It had been a good while since he had flown economy. And with his long legs, it was not going to be any more comfortable than he remembered. He’d called in every favor that he could, but it was a peak time to go to Vegas, and every airline had been fully booked. He had been on a waiting list, and this seat was the first one that had been available. 8 hours crammed into a tiny seat was not an appealing thought. But this was important. He needed to be present in Vegas as soon as he could physically manage it. His business was successful. His plans were going just as he’d expected. But having Bruce Flemming sending work his way would take him to the next level, and that was something that he intended to get. If sitting in economy would help accomplish that, that’s what he would do! Not only that. But Jarod felt as if Bruce had become a friend in the last twelve months. They weren’t close. But Jarod had a huge amount of respect for the self-made man, and if anyone could accomplish the miracle he was asking, he could.


Louisa’s mind replayed the rest of the conversation she had had the previous evening with her sister. Ella had been bursting with pride at Jeff’s promotion in his law firm, and they had just gotten back from watching the local high school team play football. Louisa smiled fondly. She could not imagine herself at a football game.
The woman she was today certainly didn’t much resemble the girl she had been at ten. She couldn’t imagine living the life that she and Ella had dreamt about anymore. A life revolving around football, dinner and carpools was as foreign to her as she imagined her life was foreign to her sister. She and her sister had definitely taken different paths, and even though Louisa wished that she was married and that her husband and Jeff were friends, she knew that she couldn’t wish for one change and not change everything else. If she changed one thing, she would be a different person. She would be living a completely different life.

Jarod smiled at the little boy who wheeled the fire truck up his calf. He didn’t blame the boy, his feet were certainly in the kids way.
He smiled reassuringly at the mother who was about to reprimand her son.
“It’s a long wait.” He said casually.
The mother smiled nervously, and gathered her son back into her arms and onto the seat beside her.
He wasn’t surprised. He didn’t look like the kind of man who would be comfortable with children. Not to adults anyway. Many people had told him that he looked like a man who had been told of a great mission and all the secrets to do it, and was about to charge forth and do so. A controlled energy and determination exuded from him warning others that he would accomplish his goal no matter who or what got in his way.
Funnily enough, children were often drawn to him, often to their parents’ dismay. He liked to think that children saw the real him, not just the exterior as perhaps their parents did.
It had been that exterior that Amanda had been attracted to. The look of a dangerous man, a driven man, she’d once told him.
And some things that he did were dangerous. Not in a life or death way. But in a risk taking way. And he was driven. He certainly was ambitious. But not in an all consuming, obsessive way. Apart from that, contrary to what he might look like, he assumed he was boringly normal.
At least that’s what Amanda had come to believe. It was certainly what she had thrown at him verbally every now and then, and then more and more frequently until she had left. He didn’t live up to his appearance. He was so boring that she was going to die from the boredom, she had once yelled at him.
Well, she hadn’t lived up to her appearances either, Jarod thought in a second of bitter memory. She had seemed to be a sincere, genuine person. He had known that he hadn’t loved her. But he had thought that they had suited each other, and would make a good life together.
It turned out that she had been neither sincere nor genuine. She had been a nasty person inside a well-groomed, nicely clothed body, who had wanted his money, his success, and the exciting lifestyle that she had thought he would give her.
He had given her lots of his money, and some of his success he supposed. But he hadn’t given her a life exciting enough for her taste. In return, she had taught him a valuable lesson. Gift wrapping is important. But the gift inside is the thing that you have to live with.

“Ms Elliot?”
Louisa looked up, somewhat surprised to see hear her name.
“My name’s Tracy. I’ll be assisting you throughout the flight today. I’m sure you already know this, but even though you’ll be seated in economy class, you’ll still receive first class service, as way of further apology for the ticketing mix up.”
Louisa nodded. She appreciated the gesture. She was going to be refunded seventy percent of her ticket as a result of the ‘mix up’, so it was a generous gesture on their part.
“Thank you, Tracy.” She replied, “That will be great.”
It wasn’t a big deal. She usually flew first class because she invariably flew ‘on business’ and it was a good tax break, or so her accountant said. It was a heck of a lot more comfortable than economy and the service was exceptional, but when it came down to it, she still had to sit in a seat for 8 hours. So, when the airline had realized that it had double booked her first class seat, she had agreed to take the economy seat without a fuss.
“You can board with the other first class passengers if you want to, or you can wait for your section to be called. It’s up to you.” The woman beamed.
“That’s fine.” Louisa replied.
“Ok, thank you. I need to go and talk to Mr Micheals. He is also a first class passenger who had problems with his ticket. You’re seated together, so that I can assist both of you.”
Louisa listened with half an ear. She didn’t really care about some man she would be sitting by. As long as he didn’t take up half her seat, or snore, it really made no difference to her. She felt so tried she would probably sleep all the way home.
As the flight attendant walked away, Louisa thought how funny it was that she had just thought of Vegas as home. It wasn’t home exactly. She had only lived there a year and would probably only live there a year longer, if that. Really she could live anywhere she chose to. And right now that, strangely enough, was Vegas. Her ten year old self would never have imagined it in a million years!


“Mr Micheals?” A blonde flight attendant smiled beguilingly at him, rousing him from his thoughts. “My name’s Tracy.” She said at his nod. “Even though you’ll be seated in economy class, I’ll be assisting you with first class service on your flight.”
“Really?” Jarod said amusedly. “I didn’t know that.”
“It seems you have some influential people as friends. They were not very impressed that we could not get you a better seat. So even though you’re not one of our regular passengers, it was suggested that we take good care of you.”
So, his contacts had had some clout, even if it wasn’t a better seat. Jarod wondered exactly what sort of care the woman was implying. There was definitely a quality to the woman’s voice that suggested more than the usual service, but he decided it was best to just take the comment at face value.
“Sounds good.” He replied, casually.
““You can board with the other first class passengers if you want to, or you can wait for your section to be called. You will be sitting with a regular first class passenger who had her ticket double booked. I will be assisting both of you.” The woman explained.
“Ok. Thanks.” Jarod replied. “Do you know how much longer it’s going to be?”
“We are just waiting for clearance from the tower to move the plane from what I have heard.” The woman replied.
“I hope it’s soon.” Jarod said, truthfully.
“I’m sure it will be.” The woman promised.



Louisa noticed other passengers gathering their things together, and she realized that the plane had finally started boarding. Economy class on this flight was boarded last, and she was in the first row, so she decided that she would wait a few minutes before boarding. Although she wasn’t upset about her economy seat, she also didn’t particularly want to make the time she sat in it any longer than it had to be.



Jarod was only just resisting the temptation to approach one of the other flight staff to ask how much longer it would be, when the boarding call was placed. He had just started to think that if the plane was this late leaving, there must have been a pretty major problem, and perhaps he wasn’t so keen to get on it and fly for 8 hours.
Just as he began to gather his things, his cell phone rang. Seeing Bruce’s number on display, he immediately put everything down again and answered.
“Hi, Bruce.” He answered.
“Hey, Jarod. You in Vegas yet?” The man drawled in a Texan accent, which was twice as thick as Jarod’s.
“Sorry to say I am still in New York, waiting for a plane. After nearly two hours, it’s boarding as we speak.” Jarod replied.
“Two hours, huh? You sure you want to get on a plane that was delayed that long?” The man asked dryly.
Jarod laughed. “I was just thinking the same thing a few minutes ago, but I thought you wanted me in Vegas arranging wedding marches, yesterday.”
Bruce laughed too. “It’s true.”
“I’ll see you in about eight hours.”


Louisa shoved her carry on suitcase into the overhead compartment. Oh no, she thought. This, she suddenly remembered was one of the small, but critical reasons why first class was called ‘first class’. Everything was bigger there. And that meant everything was smaller back here. Her carry on fit just fine in first class, but it did not want to go into that small space.
Louisa cringed at the thought that people were watching her, trying to go past, and probably wondering why she’d brought on such a big carry on
“Excuse me, Ma’am.” A deep, faintly accented masculine voice said patiently from beside her. “Maybe I could assist you.”
Louisa turned to see a giant of a man standing next to her. Not only was he a giant, but he was startlingly good looking. Good looking enough to take her breath from her body and any coherent thoughts from her brain. Brown hair cut in a short cropped style, but which looked like it would curl if it was left to grow long. Golden colored eyes, and chiseled features that any model would envy.
“Ma’am?” He asked again, gesturing for her to let him take the bag.
“Oh, thank you.” Louisa finally snapped back to reality and stepped back as the man took the case from her.
The man jiggled the case, pushed firmly, and the case slid in with embarrassing ease.
Of course, Louisa thought.
As if reading her mind, the man smiled as they both moved to the side to let another passenger past, and said “I have a definite height advantage over you.”
Louisa smiled. That’s for sure, she thought, expecting the man to retrieve his things that he had put on her seat, and to move on.
She felt sorry for whoever was going to sit by the man, if he was sitting in economy class. He didn’t look like an economy class passenger though.
“Thanks.” Louisa said.
“You’re welcome.” The man replied, as he picked up his briefcase.
Louisa then watched with something akin to panic as he slid it into the same compartment, beside her carry on.
“What’s your number?” He asked, conversationally, oblivious to her reaction.
“21B.” She replied almost automatically
“21A.” He stated.
They both looked at the two small seats beside the window.
“Well, this should be interesting.” Louisa stated, ruefully.
“It’s going to be cozy, anyway.” The man replied, as he ducked his head and took his seat.
“Indeed.” Louisa agreed, taking in a deep breath before sitting in her seat beside him.