Dear God

Dear God,
My mother had always told me not to worry about things that people do to hurt you. She said, "They will answer for whatever they do."

I think people like that are unhappy with there own lives and try to hurt others. A lot of people I have spoken to say the same thing. I believe in my opinion that people should leave other people lives alone and keep their opinions to themselves. Would they want someone doing that to their lives? I think not!.They would be terribly offended and tell you so. Nothing they have done to hurt others will ever be owned up to by these people. In their mind they feel they are justified in doing these mean, hateful and cruel things. The following paragraphs will explain in some detail about our lives and happenings we had to endure all of these years.

I grew up in a large family of nine brothers and sisters. I also have a half brother Matthew who was raised by my grandparents John and Malissa. One unexpected sibling (Jeannie) came into the picture several years later but will tell in the preceding paragraphs more about her.

It was not the ideal living sitation a person craves or wants. From the first recolations of my childhood was not very great. Everything from physical,mental and sexual abuse that spanned over thirty years and still to this very day I'm living with scars. Not to many seen from the outside but the scars inside i know are there even if many cannot see them.

The abuse started from day one when I was born on August 7, 1969,but I was to young to remember the first initial beginnings.

I remember my first year of attending school.That was the first time in the early summer of 1976 being six years old that I was abused sexually by a family member.It was a horrific experience and I believe that was the reason I was withdrawn that first year and failed the first grade. Many years later I still was withdrawn from all the terrible experiences.

My father was a severe alcoholic who from my earliest memories only cared about his wants (Alcohol and prostitutes and money and of course his own self) even though he had a wife and children that needed his help we were nothing to him. He would be gone for several days and nobody knew where he was or who he was with or even if he was alive. When he did show up he ran us out in the cold.When Mom attempted to fix us something to eat he would throw it all over the floor just to insure we starved. He made it as difficult as he could on us as if he was punishing us in some sick way for something we didn't know what it was or understood why.

Mostly what we did manage to have to eat was garden food and we was sure thankful we had it. I remember we would be starving and sometimes we would open up jars of canned beets and eat them. Mostly kids didn't like vegetables but they sure tasted good to us especially when your starving.

We all had a lot of problems from the various forms of abuse we endured. We was malnurishised and some of us had worms. Mom had to scrape up money to get the medicine to get us better.Lack of calcium and the proper foods we needed for are growing bones resulted in me being diagnosed with arthritus in my teens. I fell when my legs gave way and the doctor said my knee cap was broke. When the bill came he of course cussed me out over it. Never mind I was still a dependent on the veteran's check he recieved every month and it was is fault that I had it. He forced us to walk to school five days a week at least a two mile walk there and back and this school provided no bus transportation. They didn't call off school when there when a bad snow that came in because most of the students lived at the school. They didn't care others had to walk.We fell on the ice and snow so many times I lost count.

Over the years a lot of people praised this school but i want the truth to be known that it is not a christian school as they say. The school was Mountain Mission School located in Grundy, Virginia. We had no friends there because they considered us not good enough for them.We had no new clothes bought when the school year came around and where made fun of a ridiculed because our Dad wasted all the money which he could have made our lives better. We sweated everyday walking to school and where made fun of and called names because of it. What they expect when your forced to walk that far you would most certainly sweat.It's not like a faucet you can turn off and on as we would have loved too.

The first teacher there who was severly abusive to me was (Irene Fassom) and to this day I still remember her unfair treatment.From day one she took a dislike to my sister Bernice and I. It was uncalled for because we did nothing to her. I would politely ask her to show me how to do division math. She would say go sit down I'm not helping anyone. Then I would watch and see another student go up there and she would help them I knew then and there she was an awful liar and predudice for whatever reason! She would say, "If you do not do your math I will paddle you."I did it to the best of my ability and finished it and she still paddled me everyday. Three whacks each and everyday.My bones where already week from the arthritus.She would make us take and wear her clothes and take showers like we didn't at home but you couldn't help sweating before we got to the school. It wasn't like there was a shower available after the long sweaty walk to jump in before school attendence. She said, "If I didn't go to summer school I would be in her class next year." Well I had enough of her severly abusive ways and went to summer school even though by the time i finished only had about two weeks of vacation time left.

The teacher I had for summer school was Ms. Grannert and wonderful teacher and I learned in no time at all. She has since passed on but I never forgot her after all these years.She even gave me a Bit o'Honey candy bar as being the first done with a times table test and getting all correct. I was nervous at first when i completed the test and waited several minutes before I raised my hand that i was done.