The Last Time I Saw Him

I waited nervously for the car. I was waiting on the side of the road outside my building. Everyone who walked by stopped and stared at this girl looking lost, in a black dress and looking as if she was going somewhere really fancy to celebrate some big event. But that's not what it was. I was definitely not going to celebrate any event. Not today.

After a while, I saw the car pull of in front of me. My friend, Rahul, was in the back seat and his older sister was driving. I tried my best to force a smile onto my face as I got in to the car beside Rahul. Noticing the look on my face, Rahul reached out, hugged me and told me it would be okay. Those four words made my eyes water. Because I knew it wouldn't be okay.

"We're almost there," I heard Rahul's sister say from the from the driver's seat. I took a deep breath as she pulled up in the driveway near a huge house that looked very familiar to me. The house of my best friend. I had only been there once or twice during the past year but I knew the house perfectly. It was a huge house, ten times the size of mine but I knew every room, every short cut, every hide out. However, this time, I felt lost. It didn't feel the same being there now. It felt...strange.

I got out of the car and stood there, staring at the well decorated house with it's big lawn and swimming pool to the right. On the left I saw loads of people, all in black, some sitting at the white tables and chairs that had been laid out, some talking, some just trying to accept the fact that all this was reality. Not just some dream.

I walked slowly beside Rahul as he made his way to the rest of the people there. As we got nearer I felt I couldn't go on. I stopped dead in my tracks. Rahul turned around and looked at me for a second or two.

"Come on, Pree. Let's go," he said to me.

But I just stood there. I looked at everyone else who was there. Many of them were crying. Many of them were trying not to. I had promised myself I wouldn't cry today. I promised myself I would be strong, not only for myself but for Jake as well. So I didn't cry. I wiped my watery eyes dry and smiled at Rahul. Then both of us walked towards the rest of the group.

I saw my best friend's mother. I saw his cousins. I saw his friends. I had never seen any of them in this state before. His relatives, many of them who I did not know very well, came up to me with watery eyes and hugged me when they saw me approaching.

Then, his cousin walked over to me. The one who had given me the news just a few days ago. Her face was read and I could tell she had been crying. She hugged me and asked me if I was okay. I nodded even though I knew I wasn't. Then, she lead me to her aunt who had been talking to some one. When she saw me she turned to me and smiled. I had met her only a few times before but we had gotten to know each other quite well. Jake loved her. He thought she was the best mom ever. She bent down and hugged me as well.

"How are you hanging in?" she asked me. Before I could answer she noticed my eyes getting watery and she changed the subject.

"The ceremony will start in a while. Would you like to go inside and look around the house in the mean time?" she asked, gesturing towards the house behind me.

I smiled at her and then went up to Rahul to tell him I was going inside for a while. He was with a few of his friends from school, who were also there but he said he would come with me.

As Rahul and I made our way to the house he glanced at me out of the corner of his eye.

“Are you okay?” he asked, looking straight ahead.

I didn’t reply. I wasn’t okay. This couldn’t be happening. I couldn’t believe I had just lost my best friend. Finally I answered.

“This can’t be real,” I said softly.

This time Rahul didn’t reply. He just sort of nodded his head and lead the way inside.

The house looked different. It was decorated and there were pictures of Jake and the family everywhere. There were all sorts of different flowers put in vases. The place looked spotless. I walked around the living room, lost. I stopped and looked at every picture in every photo frame for at least five minutes.

Rahul, who had been looking around the room as well then turned to me and asked me if I knew where Jake’s room was.

I nodded but my mind blurred. I stood up from the photo frame I had been kneeling down in front of and slowly walked out of the room. I could feel Rahul following me close behind. I led the way up the stairs and then down the corridor into Jake’s room.

His room was the biggest one in the whole house. He lived with his mother. His parents were getting divorced and his dad and moved out two months ago.

I never imagined Jake dieing this way. His dad had come to pick him up to go and see his new house. On the way there, another car ran into his their car. The car was damaged badly. Jake’s father had broken his leg and had deep cuts here and there. But none of that compared the what happened to Jake. Jake passed out and was un-conscious for a week. I tried my best to go and meet him as often as I could during that one week. I still remember the day the doctors broke the news to us. I was there. With Jake’s cousin. It was the first time I was visiting Jake that week. As I stood beside the bed on which he lay, I stared at him, totally speechless, in complete shock. I didn’t understand how any of them was happening. Then, the doctor walked in.

“Can I have a word with you, Michelle?” He asked Jake’s cousin.

“”Oh. No. That’s okay. She’s family,” Michelle said, gesturing towards me. “Is everything okay?”

“Well, no. Not exactly,” The doctor started.

The room went silent for a few seconds. I knew what was coming and I didn’t want to hear it.

“Um…well, what’s wrong?” Michelle asked. I could tell her was nervous. She didn’t want to hear the answer either but Jake’s mother had left her in charge for a few hours and she was just trying to be strong.

“I’m sorry….” The doctor said. “But Jake doesn’t have much chance,”

That was it for me. I didn’t need to hear anymore. I looked away from the doctor and turned to Jake. He lay there. Still unconscious. I felt my eyes sting with tears. I turned around and walked out of the room. I heard Michelle calling after me. But I didn’t turn back. I was going to lose my best friend.

And now I am here. In his room. Looking at all the pieces of music he has created. His guitar was thrown across his bed. His basketball lay in a corner of the room. I picked it up and aimed for the basketball hoop he had put up in his room. The ball went though the hoop in one smooth shot! Slowly, a smile spread across my face. Basketball was Jake’s favourite sport. He had tried to teach me how to play millions of times. He wasn’t usually successful.

Rahul came and stood behind me as a I started at the basketball hoop.

“Jake would have been proud,” He told me, smiling.

I nodded. Then I spotted something I hadn’t noticed before. On Jake’s bedside table there were two pictures in photo frames. I walked over to it and knelt down beside them. In one photo frame there was a picture of our band-The Tremors. All five of us. And in the other one was a picture of me and Jake. I picked up the photo frame and looked at it for a while. It had been taken right after our band had come first place in a contest. I had promised myself I wouldn’t cry today. I had promised myself I would be strong, not only for myself but for Jake as well. So I didn’t cry.

We looked around the room for a while longer, finding all sorts of memories that made our eyes sting with tears. After a while, Michelle walked into the room.

“We’re ready to begin the ceremony,” She told us.

Rahul looked over at me. “Are you ready?” he asked.
I nodded even though I wasn’t sure of the answer myself. I followed him and Michelle downstairs. Everyone was now sitting on chairs in front of the coffin. Rahul, Michelle and I took our places right in front and the ceremony began. First, Jake’s girlfriend, Emily, came up and read out a poem from a piece of paper.

Everyday I sit and remember
The times you and I have spent together
As the days went by and by
it became harder not to cry
You were there for me,
You believed in me
And now i know you are watching over me
I love you so much
i miss you so much
for only one more touch
This horrible thing that took you from us
will never be forgotten without a fuss
Now you are in heaven
where you should be
And I know one day it will be you and me

I saw many people’s eyes fill with tears as she recited the poem for us. After that, things got bad. The funeral that had been going pretty well up till now turned into a disaster. Jake’s mother and father were divorced and they hadn’t ended things on the best terms. Today was the first time they were in the same place together after a long time. And it didn’t work out. We saw them whispering to each other in a corner of the lawn and after a while we heard their voices getting louder. And then the yelling started. Jake’s aunt, who was giving a small speech on stage, stopped and turned to look at what was going on. So did everyone else. The yells and shouts got louder. Jake’s aunt went over to try and calm the two of them down but she was ignored and Jake’s parents went on with their argument. No one said anything for a while. We just sat there and watched them yell at each other. It went on for five minutes. Just yelling. Then Jake’s dad started throwing stuff. Plates and glasses were thrown across the lawn. Tables and chairs were destroyed. No one could stop him. No one could comfort him. Jake’s mother stood in one corner, her hands over her mouth in shock. She was a tall, really pretty lady. She had even come in a few magazine ads before. She had always been more like an older sister to Jake than a mother. Today was the first time I was seeing Jake’s dad. Even though I had known Jake for a year, his dad had never bothered with anything that was going on with Jake. It had somehow always been that way. No one moved a muscle. We just let Jake’s dad do what he had to do. Finally, he stopped. When he had just about calmed down I suddenly saw Jake’s older brother-Matt walk in with his new baby girl, Sarah. Everyone kept quiet. We all knew that Matt did not have a very good relationship with his parents. He used to live with his girlfriend but after the baby was born she had taken off and left Sarah with him. His parents had not approved of him having a baby at this age as he was only eighteen. Matt hadn’t spoken to his parents since Sarah was born. Today was the first day he would be meeting them after a long time.

“Matthew,” his mom said after a long silence. Then she turned to the baby in his arms. “And this is…?”

“Sarah,” Matt answered.

His mother nodded and then gestured for him to come over to her. We all watched silently as Matt handed Sarah to his cousin and walked across the lawn to his mother. After a while there was another session of yelling and shouting. This time between Matt and his parents.

I sat there and listened to them yelling at each other. I couldn’t believe this was my best friend’s funeral. I held my tears back as I walked up to Matt’s cousin to see how Sarah was doing. Jake would have made a great uncle. He really loved Sarah. He took the best care of her ever while he could.

It was while I was playing with Sarah that one of Jake’s cousins and Rahul came up to me and asked me if I would like to see the body. The yelling was still going on but they were now allowing people to see the body. Everyone else had already seen the body. I was going to be the last one.

Rahul and I followed Jake’s cousin to the coffin which was placed in front of all the tables and chairs. When we reached the platform on which the coffin was placed Rahul and Jake’s cousin stepped back so I could move forward and see it.

That one step I took forward was the most terrifying thing I had ever done. I had no idea what I was going to see next. And then I saw his body. He was wearing the same thing he had the day he passed away. A red shirt and blue jeans. For ten minutes, I just watched him, lying there, totally motionless. I had promised myself I wouldn't cry today. I promised myself I would be strong, not only for myself but for Jake as well. But this time I couldn’t help it as a tear rolled down my cheek. Before I knew it my face was red and wet with tears. I cried for Jake who didn’t have the best last months he had planned out. I cried for the way this funeral had gone. I cried for Sarah who would never know what a great guy her uncle was. But mostly, I cried because I knew this would be the last time I saw my best friend.

People have told me not to be upset about it. That he is watching us from above. That he will always be with me. And yeah, they’re right. He will always be with me and he will always be watching us from above. So why do I feel like this? It’s a question I don’t have an answer to. But today I go on. Life goes on, but no one forgets. No one can ever forget. We love you, Jake.