My Life, His Life

My life is not my own. God gave me the opportunity to spend time on this earth to continue Jesus' mission of spreading the gospel and my testimony of how He has come to take my life and make me a disciple and guide others to grow in His word.

For the longest time, I lived my life as I felt I needed to live. I was in control. Although my marriage was falling apart, I knew that if I seeked counseling, I could save it. I did my best to be the perfect wife. I raised our two children, went to school, worked full time, had dinner cooked and on the table. I kept the house "straight" and it was not good enough. We just could not get along. He made it a point to point out the things I did not do. He rarely noticed the things I did right. After several years of being on the "back burner", I gave up. I couldn't take it any longer. I had to get out. I was independent and could do it on my own much better than if I was married. I had it all figured out.

My life fell apart after I left. I lost my job, lost my house I was trying to purchase. My parents were supporting me from thousands of miles away. Not once did I seek God in all of this. He let me go through all of this and I couldn't understand why. Was I that stubborn? Was I so sure that I could make it that he let me go on my own? Where was he when I needed him?

I soon realized, after moving back home with family nearby, that God was there all along. He was just waiting for me to come to him for repentence and to surrender to him. I never prayed the way I should have. I didn't think to. Once I realized how much he wanted to be there for me, I began to pray like I had never done before. I released my life to him for the taking. I asked him (again) to be my Lord and Savior. I had accepted Christ as a child (age 12) but did not really begin living the Christian life until a few years ago. I became involved in our church as a preschool Sunday school teacher, took several leadership courses and took a discipling leadership class. My life is not my own but his for the taking. I asked him to take the wheel and lead me down the right path. Now, I don't do hardly anything without going to Him in prayer first. There are times when I still feel I'm in control and he reminds me just how not in control I am. He is working wonders in my life right now. I have been gvien the opportunity to go back to school to get my degree to work in the social work field. I will make it a ministry/missionary. That is my dream and will become reality within the next 6 years. It is a difficult journey but I know as long as I have Christ in my life, nothing is impossible. He has told us not to worry or be anxious for anything, Philippians 4:6.

I must learn to realize that God will provide all things (food, drink, clothing, etc) if we seek him for these things. He will give us all we need. (Luke 12:24-34). He will not let us go without the tools we need everyday to survive. We must however, do our part to fullfill his great commission (Matt. 28:19-20) and make great nations and spread his word. We can have all the faith in him but without following his commands, faith is no good (James 2:26 'For just as the body without the spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead.'")