Authentic Beauty

Authentic Beauty

I am sad,
I am sadder than you’ll ever know.

I am sad,
Sad for all the millions that have gone before me.

I am sad,
Sad for the years I have already lost because of you.

I am sad;
Sad for my fluttering heart,
Sad for my teeth polished grey,
Sad for my bones that never cease to ache.

Sad for the life I cannot take back.

The suffocating ashes of isolation,
The emptiness,
Not just with friends and painted laughter,
Not just with family and barricaded hugs,
But OF me.
I am the emptiness
Created from emptiness,

A bare soul.

You had this way,
This Power,
Of making me believe
You were the only person
Who ACTUALLY cared,
Who TRULY loved me.

What I needed more,
Even more than the support of a loved one,
Was the support of myself.
I did not matter.
I was invisible,
The child no one knew about.
I was a mistake,
The mistake.

Even if the world did not want
Or still does not want me,
I WANT me.

But in order to be me,
There can be no you.
You were false dreams, expected failure.
I am a human being.
I’m damn proud to be human,
Damn proud to say:
“Hey world, look at me I’m not perfect!”
I’m human and beautiful in my darkest moments, my mistakes.

But most of all,
I am beautiful in my acceptance.
For it is in acknowledging my errors that
I Unchain my wings,
Give myself the Opportunity,
the Courage,
the Strength
to not just Fly, but
S O A R

Beauty is being me.
I am beauty,
I always will be beauty;
That is Beautiful.