the becoming of innocence

i feel (am)
dis -
connected.

letting the jealousy demon dig deep into my bones
my blood - the essence of me
turning green like the forests
a river of bloodshed but that blood is
Mine.

meandering - this is my life
the lifestream that goes on into the
false creek that maybe i have turned into
or is that monster riding on my back
me?

spitting poison, i am the rain
the clouds, the air, the wind
- the magnetic core of the Earth,
Mother Earth, Mother Nature
so angry...

two-pronged sword, beaten sharp by the
blacksmith that they are (molten hot)
hiding in the costumes that say make me
confuse me, hide me, comfort me
- is me.

i have let them in
given them a piggy-back ride
around my life - free.of.charge
no payment. no argument. best of all:
tax-free

given them free reign of my life
because i have lost it
along the lines of green eyes
and pencil red fury