What a Fucking Great Day.

It wasn't the fact that they all hated me that made me do it. It was the fact that they told me about it..EVERY day that drove me into such insanity. I just couldn't take it any longer. I had to do soemthing about it and ther fact that I couldn't, at first, dug a hole into my soul. I hung a punching bag in my room so that I could unleash my anger. That only worked for the first two days and then I ended up ripping it off of the ceiling. Just the sound of it crasheing to the ground made me feel better.
September 8, 2004.(First day of school)
Walking into school today I have found that everyone looks at me differently than they did last year. I think it's becasue they all heard what happened during summer. So what? I had a couple incedents with a knife. Not like I have scars or anything. They all still act like I'm their friend. I know that they all hate me. It's all becasue I am different then them. They know that if I ever had the chance that I would kill them. On the spot. I carry a three inch blade with me everywhere. Daedric. I love it.
As the day progressed the teachers even didn't talk to me the same. They acted as though I was a loner. That I was no one. That I couldn't hold a conversation. That I could just die and no one would probably care. I was different. I didn't think the same as everyone else. I had dark, evil thoughts that overflowed with blood and gore. I could care less what they think. I am who I am. There's nothing they can do to change it.
First Hour.(Math)
Math. Damnit. I hate that class. I walked in and everyone stared at me. Like I was some sort of disease. I slowly eased mysaelf to the back of the room and took the farthest seat away from anyone. Why would i want to be by any of those idiots anyway? I lurched in my back corner and thought the whole class. All it was was introduction anyway. I didn't have to listen. The person two seats up from me handed me a book. Then pulled their hand away as quickly as possible. I snatched the book and then got out a black sharpie. "Time to make this book.Mine." I then proceeded to open to the first page.
"Ahem." The teacher, Mr.Booker, was standing behind me as I was drawing skulls and band symbols all over the inside cover of my algebra book.
I looked up and stared, "What do you want?" I said with deep desperation to get him to leave.
"You are drawing in your book. Against my rules."
I gave him a dark glare.
"Didn't you give me this book? I thought so. I'll do what I please with it." I cocked my head, then lowered it, swung my feet up over the arm of my chair and then went back to my sharpie work.
" I want to see you after class." He said and strode back to the front.
"You'll see me as I walk out the door." I declared loudly so that everyone could hear.
He slammed his books down on his desk. Then slowly spun around on his heel. "What?"
"You heard me."
Nothing else was said about it.
I walked out of the class without stopping to talk to him. I could hear him curse as I did so. I didn't especailly care if I got suspended. Not like I would even have to come back anyway. My mind was set I wasn't gonna take shit from any one and who ever threw me a "punch line" or made fun of me would get it after school. I didn't care and I was just sick of getting pushed around.

Second Hour (Reading and Writing)
I liked Reading and Writing it was a time where I could leave my life and not have to worry about anything. Again, I sat far away and I didn't atlk to anyone. In this class I had a female teacher, Ms.Scotts. I didn't like her. She was too skinny and too happy. She just pissed me off. Also because she treated me differently than everyone else.
Ms.Scotts came up to me during a writing break. She disrupted my fucking concenmtration.
"Hi, Crys. How are you? I heard what happened over summer."
"I'm TRYING to write. Do you mind?"
"You shouldn't talk to a teacher like that. No, no, no." She gave me a happy little smile. It disgusted me. I ended up writing a poem that now had been inscripted into my hard-cover journal:
"Pull up a chair and sit on the floor,
Admission is free, so pay at the door,
I'll tell you that story, I've never heard before,
One fine day, on a dreaded night,
Two dead boys began to fight,
Back to back they faced eachother,
Drew their swords and shot eachother,
The deaf police man heard the noise,
And came to shoot the two dead boys,
If you don't believe this lie is true,
Ask the blind man, he saw it too."

Third Hour (Gym Class)
Hated gym class. Hated preps. I didn't change. I didn't go to put on shorts and a tank top and prance around to play volleyball. I sat in the corner the whole time. Dreading ever being born. I took a look at the guys running around and playing football. Then in the corner. I saw a guy. He was sitting with his knees jumbled up by his head. and hi head was restiung upon them. I wondered what his name was. I wondered why he was liek that. He looked up and saw me staring at him. His black eyes locked with mine. We sat for about two minutes. He had dark brown hair, that was shaggy and folded over on one side of his face. His eyes were black and they had no little sparkle in them. I had never seen him before. Not even last year. Of what I could see he was wearing dark blue cargo jeans, a black hoodie and skater type tennies.
We jsut stared. I brushed the hair out of my left eye. After gym class I didn't get a chance to go and talk to him. He shuffled off to his next class.

Fourth Hour(Science)
I walked in. And there he was. He was sitting at the farthest table, farthest to the back. I slowly eased myself to go and sit by him. He was carving on his agenda book something that looked liek a Disturbed band sign. He looked up and saw me. A grin glanced across his face and I noticed that it was crooked. I trudged my way to the back and sat next to him. Everyone looked back.
"Fu-" I started to say, then he broke in.
"Fuck off, bitches." He finished it for me. I looked over in disbeleif.
I laughed to myself. I couldn't believe he said that. Exactly what I was going to say. He looked at me threw the corner of his eye. Then he winked. I felt weird inside. I wasn't sure what the feeling was. I wrote a note on a peice of paper from out of my Science text book saying:
'Hey thanks. What's your name anyway?' He saw me write it. Then he whispered into my ear "Keith. What's yours?" I liked that name. Keith. I whiuspered back,
"Crys."
"Nice."
"Excuse me. Is my class so boring that you two back there need to talk?" The teacher, Mr.Brunswick, asked in a sarcastic voice.
"Yes, infact, can I leave?" We said together, not even planning it.
"Woah. Like, oh my Gawd, I didn't know that they could talk!" A prep in the front exclaimed.
"No, you may not leave. You have to stay here and suffer just like the rest of us."
"Whatev." I said. Then got out a pen and started to write on my journal cover.

Lunch.
I saw Keith standing at the end of the lunch line all by himself. I took the advantage on running up there and talking to him.
"Hey." He said before he even turned around to see me.
"Uh, hey."
"Why are you even talking to me. Aren't you going to be like the rest of "them" and make fun of me?"He said slyly.
"No way in hell. I go through the same shit as you do. Why do "they" pick on you?"
"Stuff that happened over the summer. Stuff to do with...knives."
"That's odd. "They" pick on me becasue they all heard that I attempted suicide over summer." I said as we moved further up the line.
We had a conversation about different things that sucked in life at our own little table way far back in the darkest corner of the cafiteria.

Fifth Hour (StudyHall)
On the way to my study hall Keith asked me, "Hey wanna get outa here during S.H.?"
"Hell yes."
So we decided that we were going to skip because Studyhall was so damn boring even the goodie gooides wanted to leave. So, we checked in at the library and then he got a pass to go to the bathroom. About five minutes later I seen him standing outside the window and he motioned for me to do the same. Then he ran off around the corner. I got up and then walked up to the front desk. I filled out a pass and then got it signed. I then got out of the library as fast as possible. Ntohing could stop me now. Nothing. I started out walking slowly and then sped up the pace until I got to the bathroom. I went inside. The window ha already been pryed open by Keith all I had to do was get through it without anybody hearing me. So, I slowly reopened it and pulled my leg up until my foot rested on the sill. I then grabbed ahold of the bar that resided above me at the ceiling. I then Hiked myself upwards until I could slip my foot through the window so the I was sitting on the sill. I then jumped, sort of, until I fell out. I slammed my head on the wall, but that was okay. I had no reason to care if I got a concosion anyways. I immidiatly ran around the corner and slammed into Keith.
"Hey," He said rubbing his chest were my head hit him.
"Hi," I said embaressed.
"Where should we go for the rest of the day? I already took care of the fact that we won't be at school."
"I don't know. Where do you want to go?"
"Well let's go into the woods. Maybe we can find something to do there." He laughed and grabbed my hand then pulled me away.

Supposed Sixth hour (would have had Spanish instead I was sitting in the middle of a forest with an extremly hot guy.)
I sat with my legs crossed on a rock. Keith just stood there and stared at me. I looked up at him.
"What?"
He just stared.
"Keith!"
He stared then mummbled out a "Hmm...What?"
"You are staring at me."
He made his eyes get big. "No I'm not!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"Yes!" I got up and tried to tackle him.
"No!" He caught me in his arms. I tried to get out. I couldn't. We wrestled back and forth until we ended up on the ground. Rolling in the leaves. He pinned my arms on the ground. He sat catching his breath s he had me pinned. I breathed. Couldn't believe I had just wrestled with a guy who I don't even know his last name. He closed his eyes and then opened tham. Looking into mine. His dark irises were so mysterious. Right there, I just wanted to kiss him. But I couldn't. He was way to good for me.

Supposed Eighth Hour (Would have had Shop)
Keith got off of me. No kiss. Sadly. H got up and then pulled me up. I dusted myself off. And then gave him a stupid look.
"Now what?" I asked.
"Huh?"
"What do you want to do?"
"I don't care. Theres a creek down that hill. Wanna go there?"
"Whatever." He grabbed my hand again and then we walked down to the creek. I slumped down onto the ground. My pants were torn and grass stained already I didn't care what happened to them. Keith looked at me. He had this strange look on his face. His black eyes were closed, his slim lips were slightly slanted and then he licked them. I glanced up at him. He opened his eyes just as I did. He smiled a slanted smile and looked into my eyes. I was sure of what I was thinking. I just wanted to kno what he was thinking.
"What are you thinking?" I mumbled.
"What?" He asked and cocked his head sideways.
"Nothing..."
"No, seriously, what did you say?"
"I asked what you were thinking..."
"Oh..." He hesitated, "I'm not sure...Mostly about how I didn't know therre were other people like me out in the world. I thought I was all alone. Then I met you. Why? What are you thinking about?"
"I'm..." I stuttered, "I'm thinking about how I just met you, but, I feel like I've always known you. How I knwo that I like you. But you are way to good for me."
"No I'm not. You're to good for me. Or maybe we can agree that we are not good enough for eachother and say that we suck but we'll be losers together?"
I was confused.
"Is that your way of asking me out?"
"Uh," He thought for a moment, "Possibly." He smiled and slumped down beside me.
"Well, if it is, the answer is yes."

After School Specails.
Keith walked me home after our little mid-day retreat. I thought for a moment on what I could say to him when we got to my "home". Invite him in? No. My parents would hate that. I decided to ask if he wanted to go to a cafe or something and get soemthing to eat. So I did, we walked up to the door and I said,
"Want to go to the Cafe and get something to eat instead of going home? I hate it at home."
"Sure." He grasped my hand and then let go. Then he put his arm around my waist and we went.