The Tale of Lazy Fred and His Lazy Ways

They call me lazy Fred and I am here in Tundupree
I'm in a cozy little cottage, just my hare and me.
My rabbit's name is Lulu and she's quite the company
With her I've got everything that I could ever need.

On second thought, I take that back, I have another love
You may think that I'm crazy, which I guess I am, sort of.
Fresh radishes are one of my more than frequent cravings
My freezer is completely full with my winter savings.

But then when summer rolls around, I've no way to survive
I'm all too lazy to tend to a garden or a wife.
No garden or no wife to grow it means I'm out of luck
Until that is, my brain turns on and an idea, it struck!

My only sister, Jane, she has a garden of her own
With plump and tender veggies which by herself she's grown
I call her up that evening, with a thank you and a please
And Jane loving me, her dear brother, heartily agrees

And so, on every Monday, there's a knocking on my door
My sister, fresh from pulling weeds, with radishes galore.
The sweet aroma from the veggies has me on my knees
She, so nicely, lets me have them, always one to please.

I live like this for many weeks, my stomach never empty.
Morning, noon, evening, night, there's raddishes a'plenty.
I'm happier than I have ever been in my whole life.
Thoughtfully I ponder, ' Now who really needs a wife?'

But then comes that fateful day when my sister doesn't come.
My stomach longs for raddishes, but my cupboard has none.
I call my sister asking where the veggies are for me
And sadly, slowly she speaks back telling me her story.

"This Monday morning I woke up to tend to my garden
To only find a hare in by the radishes section.
The hare was eating, chomping, munching, all your little sweets.
I tried so hard, with broom in hand, but sadly, no defeat.

I've no way to get rid of it, I'm too humane to kill
So if you've got another way, tell me and I will.
This rabbit is meanly eating up all of my hard work.
If we can't remove him I think I will go berserk!"

At hearing this I weep inside, for I'm no clever man.
I cannot think of how to do it, no ingenius plan.
I gaze at Lulu for awhile, she can be inspiring.
And that, my friend, is when my cunning plan begins conspiring

"Dear sister, I've a solution," to her I say so brightly.
"I think my rabbit Lulu may suit your mean hare quite nicely.
The hare is just a lonely beast, with want for a new mate.
So how 'bout you and I set up an animal blind date?"

My sister thinks I'm crazy, but agrees to give a try.
I decide if this won't work at all I might just have to cry.
I sigh at Lulu, my eyes shining, sad to see her leave,
But this is what I need to do for radishes for me.

The next day I'm in Jane's garden, before the pesky beast,
Silently I curse him for devouring my feast.
But I am on a mission now, a mission to gain peace.
Quick, before a second thought, I smile and release.

My rabbit Lulu seems at first to not know what to do.
But then, she finds the hare of interest, sadly bids adieu.
The two are quite a couple, with a pair of matching noses,
And happily they hop away to frolic in the roses.

Jane, she smiles happily, and cordially says goodbye.
She says with her new radishes, next Monday she'll stop by.
When I get home, elated from the turnout of the day,
I take my long nap early from the hard work I've displayed.

You may think I've a guilty conscience for my lazy ways,
But truthfully I can't think of a better use for days.
I may have lost my Lulu, and I'm sad to see her go,
But now I've got my radishes, which I love more you know.