This Again

Not so long ago, it seems,
I felt my soul unleash
I let all my emotions go
I let my heart release

But the tide of pain came after
From lying and deceit,
The hurt of giving your heart away
And having it thrown back at your feet.

So I built this wall around me,
And away it did not fall
Until he came into my life
Unexpected, without call.

And I found myself withholding
“Stay back, and keep away.
Don’t put yourself through this again.”
In the dark, He heard me pray.

“My mind won’t let me do it,
My heartstrings won’t unbend.
Oh God, don’t put me through it.
Don’t make me do all this again.

“Spare me tear-drenched pillows,
And shoulders of my friends.
Deliver me from all the pain,
Give my heart some time to mend.

“If it be your will though
That I should open up once more,
Then open up I will, but God,
Your guidance I implore.

“Give me the heart to love him,
And grace to do so purely.
Give me the faith to trust this,
Grant me strength, and surely

“This fervent prayer won’t be in vain,
My trust won’t be misplaced.
It will not prove for nothing,
This fear that I now face."

Perhaps a greater good will come,
The love so sought by men.
A journey in itself, and thus,
I’m getting into this again.

6-27-06